古惑丑拍档（2021）

Turner & Hooch S01E01

Part 1 July 28, 2021, 7:06 p.m.

伦巴室友你好吗
Hey, roomie. How's it going?
我得走了你继续好好干小东西
Gotta go. Keep up the good work, little guy.
你好
Hey.
我的天
Oh, my God.
吃甜甜圈吗
Doughnut?
你怀孕27周了
You know, at week 27,
最好吃点富含欧米茄3脂肪酸的核桃
the best thing you could be eating is walnuts full of omega- 3 fatty acids?
我来告诉你怎么做菜鸟你要听我的
Let me tell you how this works. You're a rookie. You listen to me.
我听胎儿的懂了吗
I listen to the baby. Got it?
我的地位还不如胎儿
So I'm lower than the baby?
你终于开窍了
Now you're getting it.
很高兴知道这一点你来早了怎么了
That's good to know. So, you're early. What's up?
主任打电♥话♥了
Chief called.
有一个证人保护行动联邦调查局需要帮忙
FBI needs help on a witness protection detail.
他要我们11点之前到局里
He needs us back by 11:00.
联邦调查局吗太好了
FBI, huh? Great.
我们去抓这个人的时间不多了
Doesn't leave us much time to serve this warrant.
不许洒在我的车里 -到了之后再喝吧
And don't spill that in my car. - I'll drink it when we get there.
老大说这家伙是个电脑黑客
So, the boss says this guy's a computer hacker?
何止是黑客他还侵入社会安♥全♥局♥ 给自己寄支票
More than a hacker. He broke into Social Security, sent himself checks.
听上去很聪明
Sounds pretty smart.
好了菜鸟
All right, rookie.
你先别太激动以为要抓住自己的第一个犯罪天才了
Before you get all excited about taking down your first criminal mastermind,
我们找到这家伙是因为他把九百克红甘草糖
we found the guy because he had two pounds of Red Vines,
一个假胡子和一本叫 "看来你要搬去墨西哥" 的书
a fake beard and the book, So You're Moving to Mexico!,
寄到他的祖母家
sent to his grandma's house.
我去堵后门
I'll cover the back.
如果他逃跑你负责追
Oh, and if he squirts, you're doing the running.
好的
On it.
美国法警
US Marshals.
女士我找莱斯特·曹先生他在吗
Ma'am, I'm looking for a Mr. Lester Chao. He here?
莱斯特
Oh, Lester.
奶奶是卷饼外卖♥♥到了吗
Hey, Grandma, is that the burrito guy?
你好莱斯特
Hi, Lester.
美国法警把你的手…
US Marshals, put your hands
天哪
Oh, my God!
趴下
Hey, stay down!
好吧
All right.
你要去哪
Where you going?
归你了 -好的
All you. - Okay.
莱斯特·曹你被捕了
Lester Chao, you're under arrest
罪名是违反 "计算机欺诈与滥用法"
for violating the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act.
扶他起来
Well, get him up.
你打算什么活都让孕妇干吗
You gonna let a pregnant woman do all the work?
我觉得你可以加上一条 "用陶瓷小丑雕像袭击他人"
And I think you're gonna want to add "assault with a ceramic clown statue."
知道了
Got it.
莱斯特很高兴见到你
Lester, it's been a delight.
你一定要去加拉玛看看
You gotta check out Jalama.
那里的海边有高1米2到1米8
You get a nice offshore, four to six foot,
非常完美的沙滩浪点
beach break perfection.
离你要服刑的隆波克联邦监狱很近
And it's right near Lompoc Federal Pen where you're gonna do your time.
我要蹲十年大牢 -没错值得期待
I got, like, ten years, man. - Yeah, it's something to look forward to.
巴克斯特 -你好
Ah, Baxter. - Yo.
我替孩子起的名字你考虑了吗 -考虑
Think about that baby name I mentioned? - Uh, think about it?
我读都不会读
I can't pronounce it.
卡莫瓦利利
Kamohali'li.
夏威夷鲨鱼之神
Hawaiian shark god.
知道吗
You know what?
我们有一个男孩名和女孩名了
We have a boy name and a girl name,
不过如果我生下来的是鲨鱼肯定会叫这个名字
but that's the name if I have a shark baby.
好回头再说
Okay. I'll circle back.
我搞不明白那家伙
I don't get that guy.
谁泽维尔吗没人懂他
Who, Xavier? Nobody does.
但他是个好法警跟他搞好关系他就不会找你麻烦
Great deputy though. If you're good with him, you're good.
特纳巴克斯特进来
Turner, Baxter. Get in here.
这位是联邦调查局的隆特工
This is Agent Long with the FBI.
主任告诉我你们在证人保护这方面做得很好
The chief tells me you're good at witness protection.
我们尽量不让证人死那么多
Well, we try not to lose too many.
什么你们手上死过多少
Excuse me? How many have you lost?
没有她开玩笑的我们… 我们从未失过手
Oh, uh, no. That was a joke. We... We haven't ever lost one.
我希望你们能认真对待 -他们当然会的
I hope you'll take this seriously. - Of course they will.
是的 -没错
Yes. - Yes.
谁是证人 -他叫拉里·格拉克
Uh, who's the witness? - His name's Larry Gluck.
是一个银行抢劫团伙的成员在2019年抢劫了22家银行
He's part of a bank robbery crew. Hit 22 banks in 2019.
他已进入证人保护庭审后阶段
He enters witness protection post-trial.
在结案前需要接受全天候保护
He'll need 24-hour protection until then.
没问题我们…
No problem. We're...
我们一定会保护好他
We'll, uh, we'll make sure he's taken care of.
你们俩是我的保镖吗
You two are my bodyguards?
你们不应该… 块头更大一点吗
Shouldn't you be… I don't know, bigger?
你怀孕了
Are you pregnant?
没错你会告诉我丈夫吗
I am. Will you tell my husband?
我们会在审判期间负责保护你
We'll be in charge of your safety during the trial.
但愿你们的工作能力比这些联邦调查局的傻瓜强
Hope you're better at your job than these FBI idiots.
他们追着我让我出♥卖♥♥♥同伙
Oh. They're all over me to rat.
"拉里做笔交易吧"
"Oh, Larry, make a deal, make a deal."
所以我转做证人结果呢我原来的两名同伙逃掉了
So I flip and what do you know? Two of my old crew, they get away.
格拉克先生的两名同伙在枪战后逃脱
Two of Mr. Gluck's associates escaped after a shoot-out.
就是说他们正在外面商量折磨我的方法呢
Which means they're out there brainstorming ways to torture me.
我们不会让那种事发生的
We won't let that happen.
你打算怎么做把我装进你的胚囊吗
How you gonna do that, wrap me up in your embryonic sac?
塞进你那个小肚子里
Keep me in your little tummy?
我需要知道你们对我客户的保安措施细节
I'm going to need to know the specifics of my client's security arrangements.
我们不会向你透露安保措施这是为了你客户的安全
We don't discuss security protocols. It's to keep your client safe.
我们可以走了吗
Shall we?
你就这点能耐
That's the best you can do?
在这站住
Stop here.
还要穿… 这个 -没错
Take one... Take one of these? - Yep.
这样不行 -好了
No, no. - Okay, fine.
一号♥诱饵出发
Decoy one, go.
二号♥诱饵出发
Decoy two, go.
你们逗我呢这里就是个垃圾堆
You've got to be kidding me. This place is a freaking dump!
真对不住
Oh, I'm sorry.
我们本来想在四季酒店给你订房♥间的但是他们…
Yeah, you know, we had a room for you at the Four Seasons, but they just...
他们针对银行劫犯有条不合理的规定
They have this crazy rule against bank robbers.
别这么不高兴这里配保姆的
Hey, don't look so down. The place comes with babysitters.
金姆法警守在屋外这位巴里奥斯
Deputy Kim's right outside and Barrios here
晚上会替你盖好被子 -你好
will tuck you in at night. - Yo.
我们明早回来带你去法庭
We'll be back in the morning to take you to court.
我就在这里干坐着吃饭怎么解决
I just sit here? What about food?
我没看到客房♥送餐菜单对了
I don't see a room service menu. You know what?
自动售货机有1990年代早期的奶酪玉米片
The vending machine's got those nacho cheese combos from the early '90s.
去晚就没了我要去买♥♥一袋
Ooh, might not have 'em long. I could go for a combo.
走吗 -去买♥♥吧
Shall we? - Let's do it.
再见拉里
Bye, Larry.
天哪
Oh, God.
我在伊♥拉♥克♥当宪兵时
When I was an MP in Iraq,
跟喝醉的海豹突击队队员打过架
I got in fights with drunk Navy Seals
那些人的腿上功夫都比不过这孩子
that didn't kick like this baby.
这孩子好像是想通过我的肾逃出来
I swear it's like the kid's trying to escape through my kidney.
要是你不想那么累你可以跟主任谈谈
You know if you need to take it slower, you can talk to the chief.
他早就想让我坐办公室了
He already wants me riding a desk.
不行在他们把我拖走之前… 我要一直留在一线
No. I'm staying on the street till they drag me off.
谁给你打了这么多电♥话♥
Uh-oh. Who's blowing up your phone?
是我妈妈 -好吧
Oh, uh, my mom. Yeah. - Okay.
她正在收拾我爸爸的遗物
She's packing up my dad's old stuff.
我到家后再给她回电♥话♥
I'll call her when I get home.
她一定很难受
That must be rough.
像这样突然失去丈夫
Losing a husband all of a sudden like that.
而你还没让她抱上孙子
And you're not giving her any grandbabies.