生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S09E23

Part 1 Oct. 5, 2019, 10:11 a.m.

氦
Helium.
没错
Yes.
泰勒·斯威夫特
Taylor Swift.
没错
Yes.
π
Pi.
对
Yes.
卡戴珊
Kardashian.
哪一个
More specific.
科勒
Khloe?
社交名媛金·卡戴珊的妹妹
对了
Yes!
我能记得是因为长得像金就是金·卡戴珊
See, I remembered because if it looks like Kim it's Kim,
如果长得有点像金那就是葛妮
if it looks kind of like Kim it's Kourtney,
如果长得完全不像金那就是科勒
and if it looks nothing like Kim it's Khloe.
这是维恩图解
Oh, that's a Venn Diagram,
由19世纪数学家约翰·维恩所发明
我能记得是因为我当时想
and I remember because I thought to myself,
"这叫维恩的家伙什么时候能不说这图了"
"Venn is he gonna stop talking about this diagram?"
你们俩在干嘛
What are you guys doing?
我们决定用我们早餐时间
Oh, well, we decided to use our breakfast time
来扩大我们各自的知识储备
to expand our respective knowledge bases.
让我试试
Oh, let me try.
氢原子与魔力红的主唱亚当[两者音似]
Hmm, atom of hydrogen, Adam of Maroon 5,
扔麦霸气退场
mic drop.
抱歉谁是扔麦霸·气退场
I'm sorry, who is Mike Drop?
佩妮你晚点想跟我一起
Oh, hey, Penny, do you want to go to the airport
去机场接我妈吗
with me later to pick up my mother?
-好啊 -谢谢
- Sure. - Thanks.
-小事 -佩妮
- No problem. - Hey, Penny,
既然你都要去机场了
um, since you're already gonna be at the airport,
我还有去的必要吗
do I need to go?
你为什么不想去机场接你妈妈
Why don't you want to get your mother from the airport?
因为我的人生不需要增加一段
Well, I can do without the 40-minute car ride
对我人生长达40分钟的全方位嘲讽
where she criticizes every aspect of my life.
她一趟车程就能全说完了吗
She can cover it in a car ride?
光是你的姿势我就能说40分钟呢
I could do 40 minutes on your posture alone.
你真的想要我一个人去接你妈吗
You really want me to pick up your mother all by myself?
我只是觉得
Hmm, I just feel like
这是你们俩增进感情的好机会
it would be a good chance for you to bond.
或是你避开她的好机会吗
Or a way for you to avoid her?
我不知道他的卡上都写了什么
I don't know what he's putting on those cards,
但你机智程度破了你人生记录啊
but you are smarter than ever.
如果真想我去那我就去接你妈妈吧
Fine, if you really want me to, I will pick your mom up.
真的吗
Seriously?
对啊毕竟她也是我婆婆
Yeah, you know what, she is my mother-in-law,
我也想我们能好好相处
and I'd like for us to have a good relationship.
你这行为好成熟
That is very mature of you,
所以我决定告诉你 "傻♥逼♥"
so I'm gonna go ahead and say, "Suckah."
-继续学习 -好的
- All right, back to learning. - Okay.
简单《比尔教科学》的主持人比尔
Oh, easy, Bill Nye the Science Guy.
我印象中的他是...
Or as I know him...
"《与星共舞》里的怪老头"
"Creepy old dude from Dancing with the Stars."
你们知道最近有场《复仇者联盟》的放映吗
Did you guys see there's an Avengers screening?
这戏的导演会放出删减的片段
Joss Whedon's gonna show some deleted scenes
还会有一个问与答的环节
and do a question and answer session.
我对于上一部《复仇者联盟》电影
Oh, well, I have a few questions for him
有几个问题想问他
about the last Avengers movie...
还有一大堆吐槽答案
and a whole lot of answers.
活动是什么时候
When's the screening?
今晚但是谁先来谁有座
Uh, it's tonight, but it's first-come, first-served,
所以我们应该提早去排队
so we should probably get there early and wait in line.
咱们去吧
Let's do it.
佩妮得忙着陪我妈妈我也去
Penny's busy with my mother, so I'm in.
有个坏消息
Oh, bad news.
艾米叫我晚点陪她去逛街
Amy's making me go shopping with her later,
所以大家都别想去了
so looks like none of us can go.
你知道你不在场时我们也有权享乐的吧
You do realize we're allowed to have fun without you?
通常就是因为你不在才能享乐
In fact, that's usually the trick to it.
我们几点得到
What time do we need to get there?
我觉得3点吧
Uh, I'd say by 3:00.
你们真的要抛下我去玩吗
You're really going without me?
不是什么大事
It's not a big deal.
去跟艾米逛街吧
Go shopping with Amy,
到时候我们帮你占一个位置
and we'll save a spot in line for you.
你没有权利在队伍中帮人占位置
You don't have the authority to save places in the line.
如果我这么做那就是插队了
If I do that, I'll be cutting.
大家都这样啊
People do it all the time.
你知道排队的黄金条例
You know the golden rule of line etiquette:
"插队死♥全♥家♥"
"No cuts, no buts, no coconuts."
如果你真这么在意
If you really care that much,
现在也有很多软件可以让你花钱请人
there are apps now that'll let you hire people to do stuff
代跑腿或者代排队啊
like errands and wait in lines.
真有人的工作是排队吗
People are actually waiting in lines as a job?
突然对自己的人生产生满足感
Boy, makes me feel better about my life.
他们其中有些人时薪超过20块呢
Some of these guys make over $20 an hour.
现在我又悲伤感爆棚了
And now I feel worse again.
我一点都不惊讶莱纳德选择逃避接机
I'm not surprised Leonard chose to avoid picking me up.
他这辈子都在克服亲密关系问题
He's battled intimacy issues his whole life.
他对于保持勃起状态会有困难吗
Does he have difficulty maintaining erections?
都还没开出停车场呢
Didn't even make it out of the parking lot.
莱纳德的事说够多了
Uh, you know what, enough about Leonard.
来说说你的事吧
Let's talk about you.
你这次来这里有想做什么吗
What would you like to do while you're here?
亲爱的我是个心理医生
Dear, I'm a psychiatrist.
你不用逃避跟我谈论私密的话题
You don't have to avoid having intimate conversations with me.
其实我也想跟你变得亲近
Well, I'd actually like for us to be close,
或许我们可以聊聊我们最喜欢的书
but maybe we start with our favorite books
然后再慢慢聊到我丈夫的性器官
and work our way up to my husband's sex organs.
没问题
Very well.
你最近读的一本书是什么
What's the last book you read?
家具店春季目录算吗
Um, does Pottery Barn, Spring count?
佩妮想要自己的婆婆喜欢自己很正常
Penny, it's only natural to want your mother-in-law to like you,
我承认我有时过于强势吓人
and I acknowledge I can be an intimidating person.
我该怎么做才能让你自在点呢
So what can I do to make this process easier for you?
比如说
Uh, for starters,
你能不能不要跟我玩精神分♥析♥这一套
maybe you can not psychoanalyze everything I say?
那当我精神分♥析♥你时
And how does it make you feel
你有什么感觉呢
when I psychoanalyze everything you say?
很不舒服
Uncomfortable.
亲爱的我刚才在开玩笑
That was a joke, dear.
抱歉
Oh. Sorry.
不知道你还会开玩笑
Didn't know you made those.
不如我们今晚来个
Hey, listen, what if we have a little
婆媳小聚餐吧
mother-in-law-daughter-in-law dinner tonight?
所以就咱俩吗
So just the two of us?
或许我再叫上俩闺蜜
Or I invite a few girlfriends,
因为听到你说"就咱俩"时
'cause hearing you say "The two of us"
我的后脊一阵发凉
just sent a chill right down my spine.
你上车干嘛
What are you doing here?
你又不是谢尔顿
You're not Sheldon.
我早料到你可能会这么说
I thought that might come up.
谢尔顿花钱雇我让我跟你去逛街
Sheldon hired me to go shopping with you.
慢着
Hold on.
他给你钱好不用跟我一起待着是吗
He paid you to get out of spending time with me?
不不是那样的
No, it's not like that.
是他宁可去排一条长长的队
There's a long line he'd rather stand in.
我们要做什么你想买♥♥衣服还是做玩具熊
So what are we doing? Old Navy, Build-A-Bear?
反正做啥我都有钱拿
I get paid either way.
我才不会跟你去逛街
We're not going shopping together.
你确定吗我可是很乐意帮你拿包包哦
You sure? I'm happy to hold your bag.
谢尔顿还给了我买♥♥热狗棒的钱
And Sheldon gave me money for a hotdog on a stick.