生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S09E10
Part 1
Oct. 5, 2019, 10:10 a.m.
谢尔顿·库珀的发疯之路
Sheldon Cooper's descent into madness...
第二天
day two.
现在是深夜2点25
It's 2:25 A.M.,
我有一股强烈的尿意
and I feel the urge to urinate.
我正常的晨尿时间是早上7点10分
My normal urination time is 7:10 A.M.,
但在这夜半时刻
but here I am, in the middle of the night,
我却挣扎着要保持头脑清晰
struggling to keep my mind sharp
与睡衣裤干燥
and my pajamas dry.
迟早有一天
It's only a matter of time
我对现实薄弱的掌握力就会消失
before my tenuous grasp on reality fades.
还是趁没忘记什么是厕所前 赶紧去尿吧
I suppose I should pee while I still know what a toilet is.
两天前
你什么时候开始哼歌♥了
Since when do you hum songs?
你说啥呢
What are you talking about?
你刚才在哼歌♥
You were just humming.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
有时候当我脑筋运转飞快
Sometimes when my brain really gets moving,
也会发出声音
it makes noise.
那你的大脑对于
How does your brain feel about
计算畴壁的表面张力怎么看
calculating the surface tension of the domain walls?
我看看
Let's see.
我还真是在哼歌♥
Hey! I was humming.
赫奇帕奇加一分
One point for Hufflepuff.
小说《哈利波特》中的学院名
该学院学生多为勤能补拙型的学生
这是什么歌♥啊
What song is that?
你再哼一次
Well... Hum it again.
是《海绵宝宝》的主题曲吗
Is that the SpongeBob song?
♪ 是谁住在深海的大凤梨里 ♪
♪ Who lives in a pineapple? ♪
不是
Nope.
随便啦 能回到正题吗
Whatever. Can we just get back to this?
我总感觉我知道这首歌♥
I feel like I know what song that is,
但就是想不起是哪一首
but I can't put my finger on it.
♪ 爱吾土兮自♥由♥乡 ♪
♪ My country, 'tis of thee ♪
美国爱国歌♥曲《我的国家属于你》
不是
No.
只是歌♥曲卡脑里[耳虫]了 会想起来的
It's just an earworm. It'll come to you.
好吧
Okay.
♪ 酋寸千日土 ♪
♪ R-e-s-p-e-c-t ♪
1965年发行的歌♥曲《尊重》
不是
No.
我们今晚余下时间都要这样吗
Is this what we're doing the rest of the night?
♪ 我很惊讶你居然还问... ♪
♪ I'm surprised you have to ask... ♪
您好 是的 我希望你们能帮一下我
Hello, yes, I was hoping you could help me.
这首歌♥是什么歌♥呢
What song is this?
你不知道吗
You don't know?
你们怎么好意思称自己为"摇滚名人堂"呢
Well, how dare you call yourselves a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?
西方摇滚界有举足轻重的地位
我的老天 你就是用这张脏嘴来
My goodness. Do you sing along to the greatest hits
跟唱猫王的传世杰作吗
of Elvis Presley with that mouth?
他们一点屁用都没有
Well, they were no help at all.
真"不敢置信"啊
Which is crazy,
毕竟摇滚最讲究良好的客户服务了
since rock and roll is all about good customer service.
你脑子里卡了一首歌♥
Yeah. So you have a song stuck in your head.
这在大家身上都发生过啊
It happens to everybody.
我不是大家 我有过目不忘的记忆力
Well, I'm not everybody. I have an eidetic memory.
我应该要能记住这是哪首歌♥的
I should be able to remember what song this is,
可我就是想不起来
but I can't.
我脑子肯定哪里有问题
Something's wrong with me.
我就说如果我们够耐心 他会自己发现这事
I told you if we were patient, he'd figure it out for himself.
我从以前就很害怕这天的到来
Oh... I was always afraid this day would come.
这可能是我变成疯子的第一步
This might be the first step of my descent into madness,
然后我逐步探底直至在公众场合裸♥露♥
where I gradually test the limits of public nudity.
公众场合裸♥露♥吗
Public nudity?
那只是意味着没穿袜子罢了
Eh, that just means going barefoot.
您好
Hello?
戴夫 你好
Hi, Dave.
我是艾米
Uh, it's Amy.
你好吗
Oh. How are you?
我很好 你呢
I'm fine. How are you?
也很好啊 你打来真让我又惊又喜
Terrific. And pleasantly surprised to hear from you,
毕竟上次约会时我的表现不太出色
given how I acted on our last date.
我们俩都有不好的地方嘛
Yeah, well, we both made mistakes, you know.
我吃了最后一根面包棒 你不停提我前任
I took the last breadstick, you gushed over my ex-boyfriend
就像我前任讨论他爱的《星际旅行》演员一样
like he was Leonard Nimoy and you were my ex-boyfriend.
所以今天什么风把你吹来
So, to what do I owe the pleasure?
我有点好奇
Well, I was wondering
你有没有兴趣找个时间再共进晚餐
if you'd like to get dinner again sometime.
好的 没问题
Yes, please.
太好了
Great.
让我看一下行程表 他说道
Let me just check my schedule, he said,
好像他行程表上真有安排一样
trying to seem like a man with things on his schedule.
这周六如何
How 'bout Saturday?
我看看
Uh, hmm...Let me see.
周五跟大牌嘻哈歌♥手去农贸市场
Uh, Friday, farmers' market with Jay Z.
周日跟歌♥手艾尔顿·约翰去买♥♥钢琴
Sunday, piano shopping with Elton John.
周六行啊
Saturday works.
你知道联♥合♥国♥里
Oh. Did you know, at the United Nations,
有一个外层空间事务部门吗
there's a Department for Outer Space Affairs?
真的吗 为啥要这部门
Really? Why?
以防哪天真有机会跟外星文明接触
They exist in case we ever make contact with an alien civilization.
这种工作大概就是无聊 无聊
Mm, boy, that's one of those jobs that's boring, boring,
无聊到死 突然"哇靠
boring, then, "Oh, God!
我们该怎么做的备忘录放哪去了"
Where's the memo with what we do now?!"
这挺酷
Oh, this is cool.
几周前呢
So, a few weeks ago,
我在脸书上给我们乐团开了个粉丝页...
I set up a fan page on Facebook for our band and...
等等
Wait a second.
你怎么可以不问过我就做这种事
How could you do that without consulting me?
这又不是什么大事
It's not a big deal.
就花五分钟就能弄好的东西
It just took, like, five minutes to set up.
这不是重点
That's not the point.
我们创立"月球足迹"乐团时
When we created Footprints on the Moon,
说好乐团所有决定都得经过两人同意
we agreed that every band decision would be mutual.
你现在就是想独揽一切
Now you're just trying to take over the whole thing.
或许我该单飞
You know, maybe I should go solo.
但有人加了我们的粉丝页
But someone joined our page.
我们有一个粉丝了
We have an actual fan.
好吧 这事比咱俩重要
All right. This thing's bigger than you and me--
乐团重组
band's back together.
你听他写了什么
So, listen to what he wrote.
"我看到你们在漫画店的演出
Uh, "I saw you play at the comic book store.
你们屌♥爆了"
You guys rock."
然后还有一张笑脸的动图
And then there's a animated smiley face
像嗨到要掀了房♥顶一样
raising the roof like this...
那晚我们的确是嗨爆了全场
We did raise the roof that night.
绝对啊
Yeah, we totally did.
摇滚明星为啥要嗑药啊 这感觉明明爽炸了
Why do rock stars do drugs when this feels so great?
♪ 为何我想不起这首歌♥ ♪
♪ Why can't I recall this song? ♪
♪ 这耗太久了 ♪
♪ This is taking far too long. ♪
♪ 这让我想用头撞墙的冲动 ♪
♪ The urge to bang my head against the wall ♪
♪ 撞撞撞 撞了又撞 撞完还撞的感觉强烈 ♪
♪ Again and again and again and again and again is strong. ♪
插上耳机好吗
Put on some headphones.
♪ 不要 戴了我耳垂会流汗 ♪
♪ No. They make my earlobes sweat. ♪
亲爱的 你为何不先别想这事
Uh, sweetie, why don't you take a break
先去做点别的事情呢
and do something else for a while?
的确有一个我想着要开始的计划
There was a project I've been thinking about starting.
很好啊 什么计划
Okay, great. What is it?
我让给你看
I'll show you.
致亲爱的未来已疯谢尔顿
Dear Crazy Future Sheldon,
你被卡脑歌♥给搞疯了
you were driven mad by an earworm.
你的头脑 你曾经最信任的本钱
Your mind, once your most trusted asset,
现在就是浆糊加豆♥腐♥渣♥
is now a sack of parrots and monkeys.
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