生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S09E07

Part 2 Oct. 5, 2019, 10:09 a.m.

瞧瞧
Look at that.
不用脱衣服就能出镜了呢
I'm in a movie, my shirt stayed on.
我们能看看那块餐巾吗
Can we see the napkin?
当然失陪一下
Of course. Excuse me.
拿出来得费点功夫
This will just take a moment.
墙式保险箱什么时候装的
When did we get a wall safe?
在地板保险箱装满之后啊
When there was no more room in the floor safe.
地板保险箱又什么时候装的
When did we get a floor safe?
装了监控摄像机之后啊
When we got the security camera.
还有监控摄像机吗
There's a security camera?
潜水侠自2012年以来一直保护你家
Aquaman, protecting your home since 2012.
老天我们在沙发上"做"过好些事情
Oh, my God. We've done things on that couch.
是啊你不说我也知道
Yeah. You don't have to tell me.
你的岳父现在在这呢
So, your father-in-law is in there right now?
是的你要帮我说话
Yes. So back me up.
-就说这房♥子维持原样就好 -好的哦了
- The house is good the way it is. - Oh, okay. Got it.
在忙什么呢
Hey. What's going on?
你好拉杰
Hey. Hey, Raj.
我和爸爸在讨论把这面墙拆掉
Dad and I were just talking about taking down this wall.
你确定吗这可是...一面好墙啊
You sure? It's a... pretty great wall.
好在哪里
What's so great about it?
很抱歉我尽力了
I'm sorry. I did what I could.
不是吧你把拉杰带过来帮你站队吗
Seriously? You brought Raj over to take your side?
你♥爸♥跟你是一队
Your dad's on your side.
他才没有站队他是过来免费帮忙的
He's not on my side. He's doing all the work for free.
你真是太慷慨无私了
That is so generous of you.
我想换一队站
I'd like to switch sides.
听着
Look, uh...
我觉得你们不能把这面墙拆掉
I don't even think you can take this wall down
因为它是承重墙
'cause it's load-bearing.
想知道很容易
Well, it's easy to find out.
只要爬到房♥子和地基中间的夹层一试便知
Just go into the crawlspace under the house and check.
你的签证什么时候到期
When is your visa up?
这上面不仅有署名给我的签名
Not only is it signed to me
而且这里还是他擦过嘴的地方
but this is where he wiped his mouth.
现在在大家面前的是伦纳德·尼莫伊的DNA
So we are currently in the presence of Leonard Nimoy's DNA.
亚当不算是伦纳德·尼莫伊的DNA吗
Um, doesn't Adam count as Leonard Nimoy's DNA?
无意冒犯但这可是100%纯尼莫伊
No offense, but this is pure 100% Nimoy.
而因为你妈你只有50%的种
Because of your mother, you're only 50%.
这也不是坏事
Which isn't bad,
但你用来擦嘴的任何东西只会被扔掉
but anything that you wipe your mouth on gets thrown away.
好了不说餐巾了
Okay, enough about the napkin.
你里面都藏了什么宝贝
What else you hiding in there?
是不是超想知道啊
Wouldn't you like to know?
-是啊 -那行
- I would. - All right then.
就是一些我的重要物品
See? Just my valuables.
我的护照我的威尔[遗嘱]
My passport, uh, my Will...
-你还立好遗嘱啦 -是啊
- You have a will? - Yeah--
1:18真人比例的威尔·惠顿手办
my 1/18 scale Wil Wheaton action figure.
里面也有另一种遗嘱[威尔]
I also have the other kind of will,
里面写着把我的小威尔赠送给威尔
and in it I will my Wil back to Wil.
威尔会想要吗
Will Wil want it?
威尔不想要
Wil won't.
戒指盒里面的是什么
What's that ring box?
那是一枚订婚戒指
Oh. That is an engagement ring
我本来打算送给我女朋友艾米的
that I was going to give my girlfriend Amy.
什么
What?!
你给她买♥♥了戒指啊
You bought her a ring?
不这是我祖上一代代传下来的
No, no, no. This has been in my family for generations.
除了中间有一小段时间印第安人
Except for a short time when Comanches cut off
把我曾曾曾祖母的手指切下来把戒指偷走
my great-great-great-grandmother's finger and stole it.
-谢尔顿这太惨了 -不
- Sheldon, that's awful. - No.
德州游骑兵追到他们的村子里
The Texas Rangers tracked them down to their village
把整个村子给屠了一个活口都没留
and slaughtered every last one of them, so...
所以这是个皆大欢喜的结局
it was a happy ending.
至少我的九指祖母欢喜了
Well, for my nine-fingered Nana.
说回戒指艾米知道这事吗
Okay, back to the ring. Does Amy even know about this?
不我还没来得及提
No. She broke up with me
她就跟我分手了
before I could broach the subject.
真遗憾你一定觉得天都塌了吧
Oh, man, I'm sorry-- that must have been devastating for you.
完全没有我没事
No, not at all. No, I'm fine.
艾米对我们的感情持保留态度
You know, Amy had reservations about our relationship,
所以这就是最好的结果
so all worked out for the best.
-我知道可... -都说了我没事
- I know. It just... - I said I'm fine!
我们有点跑题了
We've gotten a little off-topic.
就让我来说个笑话
Allow me to make things entertaining again
给这部"史"记增加点娱乐性
in this little Spockumentary.
那是莱纳德想的笑话
That was Leonard's joke.
小时候当我面临两难处境时
As a child, when faced with a dilemma,
我母亲会鼓励我问 "耶稣会怎么做"
my mother encouraged me to ask, "What would Jesus do?"
答案永远都是 "爱邻如爱己"
The answer to that was always, "Love thy neighbor."
但我的邻居有一颗烂牙所以...
But my neighbor had a dead tooth, so...
我不可能爱他
that wasn't going to happen.
但...
But...
也因此我把问题改成 "史波克会怎么做"
that's why I changed it to, "What would Spock do?"
你觉得对你有帮助吗
Did you find that helpful?
对啊比如三年前
Yes. Oh, for example, three years ago
当我发现佩妮总吃掉我所有果塔饼干
when I discovered Penny was eating all my Pop-Tarts,
我没有生气或怀恨在心
instead of getting angry or vindictive,
反之我装了一个地板保险箱
you know, I got a floor safe.
我就知道我有闻到饼干味
I knew I could smell 'em.
不如从你小时候说起
What about from when you were a kid?
好的在我八岁的时候
Oh, certainly. Uh, when I was eight years old,
比利·斯帕克斯在操场上把我逼到角落
Billy Sparks cornered me in the playground.
我就问我自己 "史波克会怎么做"
I asked myself, "What would Spock do?"
然后我抓住比利的肩膀
Then I grabbed Billy on his shoulder
使出了我人生第一次瓦肯掐脖术
and performed my first Vulcan nerve pinch.
掐脖术是瓦肯人的一种身体对抗技巧
由伦纳德·尼莫伊本人亲自发明
管用吗
Did it work?
没用啊他把我锁骨弄断了
Oh, no-- he broke my collarbone.
现在一动还会咯咯响
I can still hear it click.
那一定让你非常失望
That must have been very upsetting for you.
完全没有
Oh, not at all.
我前面就说了效仿史波克的重点
As I said, the entire point of emulating Spock
就是克服人类情绪
was to rise above human emotion,
而我已花一生的时间来掌握它
which I've spent a lifetime mastering.
怎么回事
Excuse me?
抱歉当我不在
I'm sorry. I'm not here.
不你这样是啥意思
No. You went . What does mean?
你的确那样了
You did go.
好吧谢尔顿我虽然不是专家
All right, fine. Well, Sheldon, I'm no expert,
但你好像完全没抓住史波克的重点
but aren't you completely missing the point of Spock?
他喜欢表现得好像自己没有情感
I mean, he liked to act like he had no emotions,
但他仍是半个人类
but he was still half human.
就像你
Just like you.
我的意思是你假装你没有
I'm just saying, you pretend you don't,
但你也是有情绪的人就像其他人一样
but you have feelings just like everybody else.
不对你看我
Not true. No, look at me.
我本来要向一位女孩求婚
I had an engagement ring to give a girl,
但在求婚之前她就先跟我分手了
and instead, she rejected me.
我有对此情绪激动吗没有
And am I emotional about that? No.
相反我坐在沙发上
No, I am sitting here on a couch,
若无其事般地谈论我最爱的电视角色
talking about my favorite TV character like nothing happened.
因为我跟他一模一样
'Cause I am just like him:
由始至终保持理智
all logical, all the time.
亲爱的你已经开始嚷嚷了
Sweetie, you're yelling.
因为当我用正常音量讲话时
Because when I speak at a regular volume,
都没人相信
no one seems to believe me
我已经把艾米的这破事抛诸脑后了
that I've put this Amy nonsense behind me!
这部纪录片的精彩度绝对爆表
This documentary is gonna be awesome.