生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S09E05

Part 2 Oct. 5, 2019, 10:09 a.m.

In fencing, we don't call it a stab.
-叫"击中"[触摸] -我知道
- We call it a touch. - Uh, yes, I'm aware.
可如果我说我想"触摸"我的朋友
But if I say I want to touch one of my friends,
我会被人事部叫去训话
I'll get called into Human Resources.
好的数到三
Okay, on three,
库珀和库萨帕里向前其余两人向后
Cooper and Koothrappali advance, the other two retreat.
一二三
One, two, three.
非常好动作互换
Very good. Switch it up.
一二三
One, two, three.
再换一二三
Switch again. One, two, three.
失陪一下
Excuse me.
我晚点打回去好吗
Can I call you back?
不我在教课呢
No, I'm teaching a class.
当然当然
Sure. Sure.
最多一小时吧
An hour, tops.
对好的
Yeah. Okay.
好的
Okay. Yeah.
好多谢
Okay. Thanks.
一二三
And one, two, three.
你有想过直接面向女性做宣传吗
Have you thought about advertising directly to females?
好吧
Hmm, okay.
也行
Well... All right.
这主意怎么样在橱窗竖一块牌子写着
What if I put up a sign in the window that said,
"女人们进来吧
"Women, come in.
别害怕"
Don't be afraid."
你看过网上对这地方的评价吗
Uh, have you read the online reviews for this place?
互联网阴暗负面
Eh, the Internet's so negative.
我尽量不看呢
I try to avoid it.
好吧希瑟一号♥说
All right, well, Heather H. Says,
"店主全程都盯着我看
"The owner stared at me the whole time
眼睛都不眨一下"
and didn't blink once."
凯丽二号♥说
Kelly M. Says,
"开这家店的怪胎想约我
"The creepy guy who runs it asked me out,
我还没来得及拒绝他就说自己蠢"
then called himself stupid before I could say no."
杰西卡三号♥说
Jessica K. Says,
"我跟变♥态♥店主说我喜欢他的衣服
"I told the weird owner that I liked his shirt.
结果他立马脱下给我"
He took it off and gave it to me."
瞧太负面了
See? Negative.
伸出花剑
With your foil extended,
前腿前踢
kick your front leg up
后腿反推身体向前
and push off with your back leg.
你们试试
Now you try.
再来
And again.
再来
And again.
瞧瞧咱们就像火箭女郎
Look at us! We're like the Rockettes!
百老汇踢踏舞团以华丽整齐的大腿舞而闻名于世
预备莱纳德
En garde, Leonard.
准备好接受我狂风暴雨般的攻击[触摸]
Prepare yourself for a rigorous touching.
《公主新娘》中剑客的标志性台词
我叫埃尼戈·蒙托亚
My name is Inigo Montoya.
你杀了我的父亲
You killed my father.
准备受死吧
Prepare to die.
我叫埃尼戈·蒙托亚
My name is Inigo Montoya.
你杀了我的父亲
You killed my father.
准备受死吧
Prepare to die.
我以为你要演穿靴子的猫呢
I thought you were Puss in Boots.
对哦抱歉
Oh, yeah, right. Sorry.
我是穿靴子的猫
My name is Puss in Boots.
你杀了我的父亲
You killed my father.
准备受死吧
Prepare to die.
我还等着他教咱们用手套扇脸呢
I'm looking forward to him teaching us glove-slapping.
什么
What?
就是当我的尊严被侵犯时
You know, when my honor is insulted,
我需要跟某人决斗
and I need to challenge someone to a duel
挑衅的方式就是甩手套扇那人的脸
by slapping them across the face with my glove.
你的尊严什么时候被侵犯了
When was your honor insulted?
上次做体♥检♥的时候
My last physical.
再说一次医生并没有侵犯你的尊严
Again, that doctor didn't insult your honor.
他只是检查你的前列腺
Just checked your prostate.
我名叫小孤女安妮
My name is Little Orphan Annie.
1924年漫画《小孤女安妮》的同名女主角
你杀了我的父亲
You killed my father.
准备受死吧
Prepare to die.
我是黑武士达斯·维达
My name is Darth Vader.
我就是你的父亲
I am your father.
准备受死吧
Prepare to die.
-真好玩 -很好
- This is fun. - Good.
能让你暂时忘记了艾米也不错啊
It's nice to see your mind off Amy.
艾米怎么了
What's going on with Amy?
虽然不管你的事
Not that it's any of your business,
她跟我分手了
but she broke up with me.
真的吗
Really?
很高兴知道
Good to know.
"很高兴知道"
"Good to know"?
他这话是什么意思
What's that supposed to mean?
他言下之意好像对艾米有意思
I hate to say it, but it sounds like he's interested in her.
这绝对无法接受
Well, that's unacceptable.
老兄我知道你不高兴
Oh, buddy, I get that you don't like it,
但这事真由不得你
but it's not really up to you.
我知道但他多蠢啊瞧他那张蠢脸
Yeah, but he's dumb, and his face is dumb.
就算不是跟他
Look, even if it's not him,
艾米以后也可能跟其他人约会
Amy's probably going to date someone at some point.
你真的这么想吗
You really think so?
当然她值得拥有幸福
Of course. She deserves to be happy.
你好大的狗胆
How dare you!
听着我得警告你
Listen, I should warn you
约艾米可不是个好主意
that maybe asking Amy out isn't a good idea.
巴里借一步说话
Barry, a word?
你将听到我刚说的话的疯狂升级版
And now the crazy version of what I just said.
如果你想追求艾米
If you intend to pursue Amy,
我别无选择只能予以阻止
you leave me with no choice but to put a stop to it.
你要如何阻止我呢
And how are you gonna do that?
我要和你决斗
By challenging you to a duel.
你才上了一节课我轻松就能废掉你
You've had one lesson. I'll destroy you.
所以这场决斗将定于
That is why the duel will take place
三年后的今天正午时分
at high noon, three years from today.
如果你是一个货真价实的教练
If you're worth your salt as an instructor,
三年之后我应该准备好了
I should be ready by then.
还有你给我小心了
Yeah, and be warned.
我将击中[触摸]你全身各处
I'm going to touch you all over.
这席发言比我想的还要疯狂
That-that was crazier than I thought.
好了虽然不一定是真的
All right, I'm not saying it's true,
但我们可以假设
but let's-let's consider for a moment
-问题是出在我身上 -就是
- that possibly I'm the problem. -Yeah.
-是的 -你可以这么说
- You are. - You can say it.
好吧那么...
Okay, fine. What...?
我该怎么办呢
I mean, what can I do?
我一遇到女人就紧张
I get so nervous around women.
你现在跟我们说话
Well, you're talking to us now.
怎么看起来不紧张啊
I mean, you don't seem nervous.
那是因为我用了个小诀窍
Well, that's 'cause I'm doing that trick
就是想象你的听众都赤身裸体
where you imagine the audience is naked.
顺便一提身材不错哦妹子们
By the way, thumbs up, ladies.
你没听见自己刚才的话有多恶心人吗
Do you not hear how creepy that sounds?
我开玩笑而已
It was a joke.
是吗
Was it?
不我还在继续想象呢
No, I'm still doing it.
好吧
Okay.
我无意冒犯你不过
Don't be offended, but...
你这人到底有什么毛病啊
what went wrong with you?
可能我原以为我到这个年纪
I-I guess I assumed at this point in my life,
早就结婚或者恋爱了
I would be married or in a relationship,