生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S09E19

Part 3 Oct. 5, 2019, 10:10 a.m.

Welcome to my Fortress of Shame.
对不起
I'm sorry.
这都是些什么啊
What-what am I looking at?
这是我曾经拥有的每一件东西
It's basically everything I've ever owned.
每一本书每一件T恤
Um, every book, every T-shirt,
每一样坏掉的电子产品
every piece of broken electronics.
所有的一切都在这里
Just... all of it.
所有的一切吗
All of it?
我还有一个塑料封口袋
I have a Ziploc bag
用来装我所有用过的塑料封口袋
filled with all my old Ziploc bags.
好吧
Okay.
我要告诉你
I would like to tell you that
这里的一切没什么好羞愧的
there is nothing here to be ashamed of.
我需要一分钟来好好消化一下
So I'm gonna need a minute.
等他们回来我们该作何反应呢
All right, how are we gonna play this when they return?
我知道
I know.
你们俩应该跟我疯狂亲热
You guys should totally be making out with me.
亲爱的我知道你觉得这种玩笑很好笑
Sweetie, I know you think jokes like that are funny,
但你觉得自己真的有能力
but do you really think you could handle
能驾驭得住我俩吗
making out with both of us?
不女王
No, ma'am.
好了好了这个如何
Okay. Okay, how about this?
他们不知道你和我们在一起
They don't know you're here with us,
所以你就藏在这个柜子里
so you hide in the closet.
等他们回来
When they show up,
我们先听听他们编造出来的鬼故事
we'll hear whatever their dumb story is about where they were,
假装相信他们
we'll pretend to believe them,
等他们以为自己成功骗过去的时候
and just when they think they got away with it,
你就跳出来
you jump out.
这个主意不错
Yeah, that's pretty good.
我太喜欢了
I love it!
我会大叫 "抓到啦"
I'll be all like, "Busted!"
他们会说 "什么鬼"
And they'll be like, "What?!"
我们就一起说 "就是酱"
And then we'll all be like, "Oh, yeah!"
好好我明白了
Yeah, I-I get it.
连我自己都不愿和我这种人亲热
I wouldn't make out with me, either.
这里有我拥有过的每一个收音机闹钟
In here is every clock radio I've ever owned.
计算器录像带
Calculators, VHS tapes.
运动器材
Sporting equipment.
你还有运动器材啊
Y-You have sporting equipment?
那只是一个...高尔夫球
Well, oh, it's just a... it's a... A golf ball
我哥哥拿来砸我的头的
that my brother threw at my head.
砸下的坑现在还在呢
You can still feel the dent.
就在冰球留下的坑旁边
It's right next to the hockey puck dent.
你怎么还有一整盒的松果啊
Okay, why do you have a bin of pinecones?
这是我小时候收集的
I used to collect them as a child.
松果的鳞片螺旋的比例
The spiral of scales open in
按斐波那契列数排列
the Fibonacci sequence.
可当你把这事告诉你哥哥时
A fact that, when you tell your brother,
他会拿高尔夫球砸你脑袋
gets a golf ball thrown at your head.
那你为什么觉得有必要留下这些东西呢
So, why do you feel you need to save these things?
说好听点这叫怀旧
I'd like to say it's nostalgia,
可实际是每次我想扔掉某物时
but every time I think of throwing anything away,
我就会开始耳鸣
my ears start to ring,
内心忐忑得像有蝴蝶在我胃里乱飞
and I get butterflies in my stomach.
飞着飞着
And then it feels like
老鼠来了蝴蝶被吃掉了
the butterflies get eaten by rats,
接下来老鼠又被吃掉了...
and then, the-the rats get eaten by...
行了我懂了懂了
Okay. I get it. I get it.
最后来收尾的是恐龙
It ends with dinosaurs.
如果让你觉得瞧不起我我很遗憾
I'm sorry if you think less of me.
我没有
I don't.
真的吗
Really?
因为我每次来这里
'Cause every time I come in here,
都会瞧不起自己
I think less of me.
为什么
Why?
因为我是个骗子
Because I'm a fraud.
我嘴上说自己意志强大
No. I purport to be a man of the mind.
还总念叨着会有科技大突破
I've been such a-a vocal champion of the singularity,
可一个要舍弃自己的身体
but how can I leave my body behind
成为网络一部分的我本人
and become one with the Internet
怎么能连一根牙刷都舍不得扔
when I've never even thrown a toothbrush away?
没关系谢尔顿
It's okay, Sheldon.
我也有很多奇怪的东西不舍得扔掉
You know, I... I've saved a lot of weird things, too.
比如什么
Like what?
你知道我有一片显微镜玻片
Did you know I have a microscope slide
上面有一点点小组织
with a little bit of tissue
来自我第一个解剖的大脑
from the first brain I ever dissected?
我有一个旧泰迪熊
I have an old teddy bear
我偷偷用它擦了好多年鼻子
I secretly wiped my nose on for years.
这不是比赛
It's not a contest.
好他们回来了
Okay, here they come.
藏起来
Go hide.
天了噜等我出了柜
Oh, man, when I come out of the closet,
要把他们都干倒
I'm gonna nail those guys!
好我听出哪里有歧义了闭嘴
Yeah, I heard it. Shut up.
这是怎么回事
Hey, what's this?
听我说我们干了件蠢事
Listen, we did a stupid thing.
我们跑去看了场电影还撒了谎
We went to a movie and lied about it,
但我们知道错了
but we feel bad
想补偿你们
and want to make it up to you.
这花送给你们你们要是不那么生气
So, these are for you, and if you're not too mad,
就赏个脸跟我们共进晚餐吧
we'd love to take you guys to dinner.
对去哪儿吃都行
Yeah. Anywhere you want.
谢谢你们的坦诚
Well, thank you for being honest.
对我本来想发火的
Yeah. You know, I want to be upset,
但我们做原型的确做得挺开心的
but we did kind of have fun working on the prototype.
别原谅他们保持你们的怒气
Don't forgive them! Stay mad at them!
他在里面干嘛呢
What is he doing in there?
抓到你们咯
Busting you!
没关系他们道歉了
It's okay. They apologized.
对没事了
Yeah, it's fine.
这结局略显平淡啊
Well this is kind of anti-climactic.
你知道什么结局不平淡吗
You know what wasn't anti-climactic?
那电影的结局听好了
The end of the movie. Get this.
不要剧透不要剧透
No spoilers! No spoilers!
他又"进柜"了
And he's back in the closet.
去吃晚餐吧
Ready for dinner?
好呀
Yeah.
我们要不要叫上拉杰啊
Should we invite Raj?
要
Yes.
这事没有人知道吗
So, no one else knows about this?
只有你
Only you.
谢谢你信任我
Thank you for trusting me.
有女朋友的好处就是
What good is having a girlfriend
可以把自己的心理垃圾扔给她啊
if you can't unload your psychological sewage on her?
没错我就是你的情绪茅坑
That's me, your emotional outhouse.
知道吗
You know,
如果某天你决定要处理这些东西
if you ever decide you want to do something about this,
我会陪着你
I'm-I'm here for you.
谢谢你
Thank you.
我都不知道从哪下手好
I wouldn't even know how to begin.
一点点来吧
Baby steps, I guess.
我可以先试着把这高尔夫球扔掉
I suppose I could try getting rid of the golf ball.
好呀
Oh. Okay.
反正我脑袋上自带纪念"坑"了
I will always have the dent to remember it by.
你做到了
You did it.
感觉还好吗
Do you feel okay?
其实还可以
Actually, yes.
真的
I do.
我为你感到骄傲