生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S09E09

Part 2 Oct. 5, 2019, 10:10 a.m.

好了我看看
Okay, now... Oh.
"我们最后一次交谈后你有开始养宠物吗"
"Since last we spoke, have you acquired any pets?"
没有你呢
No. You?
没有
No.
"我们上次交谈后
Um, "Since last we spoke,
你有计划要去或已经去哪里度假了吗"
have you planned or gone on any vacations?"
我可能下周会去探视我阿姨
I might go visit my aunt next week.
你在莫德斯托市的那个阿姨吗
Mm. Your aunt in Modesto?
不是是住在贝克斯菲尔德市的那位
No, the one in Bakersfield.
贝克斯菲尔德市了解
Bakersfield. I see.
这张列表怎么才出现在我的人生中
Where has this list been all my life?
你们今天就负责洗碗
We're gonna have you washing dishes.
围裙跟橡胶手套在这里就...
Uh, aprons and rubber gloves are here-- just...
刷洗叠就对了
scrape, wash and stack.
有事就叫我我会过来
If you need me, I'll be around.
我们连♥战♥场前线都去不了吗
So we don't even get to be up front where the action is?
有什么差别啊
What difference does it make?
不知道我还希望会有可怜兮兮的小孩
I don't know. I was hoping some poor kid
走到我面前跟我说
would come up to me and say,
先生求求你再多给我点儿吧
Please, sir, I want some more.
你丫是在粥棚工作
You're in a soup kitchen,
不是在《雾都孤儿》音乐剧现场
not a production of Oliver!
我又不指望他们会唱出来
It's not like I'm expecting them to sing.
然后隔天是73度
...and then the next day was 73 degrees,
再之后一天是72度
and the day after that was 72,
再往后又是72度
and then it was 72 again...
再后来是74度
uh, then it was 74,
接着就到今天了是...
and that brings us to today, at--
如果我有短裤我肯定穿的78度[25.5摄氏度]
I'd wear shorts if I had a pair-- 78.
我们讨论完天气了吗
Are we done discussing the weather?
我觉得我们这称不上"讨论"啊
I don't know if I'd call it "discussing".
你就光坐在那全都是我在论
You kind of sat back and let me do all the work.
看看列表上的下一项
Let's see what's next on the list.
来 "你会木雕吗
Oh, here. Uh, "Do you whittle,
如果会你都是用哪种刀呢"
and if so, what kind of knife do you..."
谢尔顿
Sheldon.
我们已经认识彼此很多年了
We've known each other a long time.
我们绝对能正常地谈天说地
We are perfectly capable of having a conversation
不用靠网上的某张列表
without relying on a list off the Internet.
好吧
All right.
那我们应该聊什么
Well, what should we talk about?
不知道你想到什么就问什么吧
I don't know. Just ask me whatever comes to mind.
好的
Very well.
我知道你有跟别的男人约会
I know you've been seeing other men.
你跟他们之中任何一人交♥媾♥过了吗
Have you had coitus with any of them?
靠我真是挖坑给自己跳
Man, I walked right into that one.
接下来我们需要一茶匙的胡椒
Next we need a teaspoon of pepper,
你小时候养的狗也正好叫胡椒
which, I believe, was also the name of your childhood dog.
行你觉得你知道很多是吧
Fine. You think you know so much.
我最喜欢辣妹组合中哪位辣妹
Who's my favorite Spice Girl?
90年代英国知名女子团体
宝贝辣妹
Baby.
"超级男孩"中我最喜欢哪一位
Who's my favorite member of NSYNC?
贾斯汀
Justin.
那我最喜欢的"后街男孩"成员是
Who's my favorite Backstreet Boy?
这两个在90年代走红的美国男子团体
属于竞争关系
陷阱题超级男孩一生推
Nice try. NSYNC forever.
靠
Damn it!
你不服都不行你碾压不了我
Face it, you can't stump me--
我就是丈夫之王
I am the king of husbands.
我还知道你不喜欢我情人节
I know that you don't like the lingerie
送你的那套内衣
that I got you on Valentine's Day.
我还知道你讨厌"湿润"这个词
I know you hate the word "moist". I know...
等等
Hang on.
等等我为什么会不喜欢你送我的内衣
Wait, wait. Why don't I like the lingerie you got me?
因为它是橘色的
Because it's orange
你觉得自己穿起来时像淫♥荡♥的胡萝卜
and you think it makes you look like a slutty carrot.
有意思
Interesting.
我从没告诉过你这件事
I never told you that.
你当然说过
Sure you did.
并没有
No.
我从没跟任何人说过
I never told anyone that.
但我有写在我的日记里
But I did write it in my journal.
什么
What?
我都不知道你有日记
I didn't know you had a journal.
我还知道你撒谎时音调就变高
I also know your voice gets higher when you're lying.
人家才没有呢
No, it doesn't.
这让我想起了我高中时代
You know, this reminds me of high school.
你在餐厅打工过吗
You worked in a restaurant?
不我当时还在印度又潮味儿又大
No, I was in India-- it was humid and smelled funny.
我好像开始进入状态了
All right, I think I'm getting into a groove here.
其实也不坏嘛
This isn't so bad.
再过5个小时40分钟就结束了
Only five hours and 40 minutes to go.
刚才洗这么久了才过了20分钟吗
We've only been doing this 20 minutes?!
我在哪里读过
You know, I read that
洗碗也能是一种很好的冥想方式
washing dishes can be an excellent form of meditation.
重点在于当你在洗碗时
The key is that while washing the dishes
身心灵该关注于... 洗碗
one should only be... washing the dishes.
虽然你有那异国东方口音
Just because you have that accent
但不代表你说的话听起来就不傻♥逼♥
doesn't mean what you say isn't stupid.
不说真的
No, seriously.
重点是活在当下
It's about being present in the moment,
用心去感受水的温热
focusing on the feeling of the warm water,
洗洁精的味道
the smell of the detergent,
盘子的磨蹭声跟随自己的呼吸
the sound of the dishes squeaking, and following your own breath.
天地之间活在当下
It's about... it's about simply being.
好吧我试试
Okay. I'll try it.
外面需要三个人帮忙
I need three people out front.
我去
I'll do it!
-我去 -马上来
- Me! - Right here!
不公平人家刚在冥想呢
No fair! I was meditating!
别生气嘛
Come on, don't be mad.
那是很久以前的事了完全是意外
It was a long time ago, and it was an accident.
偷看我日记怎么会是意外呢
How can reading my journal be an accident?
我根本不知道那是什么
I didn't even know what it was.
我看放在床头柜上就顺手拿起来翻
I saw it on your nightstand. I picked it up.
那你知道是日记后干嘛还不住手
Well, when you realized what it was, why didn't you stop?
你也知道我我是爱阅读的四眼书虫
You know me, I'm a big ol' bookworm.
算了赶紧把饭做完吧
All right. Let's just finish cooking.
好啦好啦让我补偿你吧
Well... Hey. O-Okay. Let me make this up to you.
有时我会在网上写日记
Sometimes I keep an online journal.
我想让你读我写的东西
I want you to read something that I write.
不用了我不想读
Okay, really, I'm fine.
好吧
Okay.
那我读给你听好了
Well, then I'll read it to you.
这篇是我们第一次见面时写的
It's from the day we first met.
-"邻之佳人名为佩妮" -求闭嘴
"Beauty, thy name is Penny." - Oh, God. Stop.
我不想你读一些你自认为恭维我的好话
I don't want you to read something you think'll just butter me up.
我想听你最新写的日记
I want to hear the most recent thing you wrote.
好
Fine.
"佩妮的美就像我们的爱
"Penny's beauty, like our love,
一天比一天更甚"
grows more with each passing day."
上面真的这么写吗
Does it really say that?
我♥干♥嘛要撒谎
Why would I lie?
"天了噜天了噜
"Omg. Omg.
新的《星球大战》电影即将上映
We're so close to the new Star Wars.
我的小心脏要受不了了
I can't take it.
哇噢"
Gah."
"哇噢"
"Gah"?
你念的语气不对
Well, you didn't read it right.
新的《星球大战》电影即将上映哇呼