生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S09E01

Part 3 Oct. 5, 2019, 10:09 a.m.

顺利完成
Nicely done!
谢谢你
Thank you.
总算有一位"霍夫斯塔德夫人"
Finally, there's a Mrs. Hofstadter
没对我失望了
who isn't disappointed in me.
说这话还为时尚早呢
Well, the night is still young.
你没事吧
Everything all right?
没事
Yeah. I guess.
告诉我嘛
Just tell me.
我们接吻时
It's just, when we were kissing,
我总是忍♥不住去想你和其他女孩的画面
I couldn't help but picture you with that other girl.
不会吧
Oh, no.
别这样
No, come on.
你可是我的好朋友
I have a friend in you.
你自己说的
You said so.
你说得对忘掉这事吧
You're right. Just forget it.
好的
Yeah.
好了听我说
Okay, listen. Uh...
如果你以为那是很香艳的画面
If you're imagining that it was sexy,
其实并没有
it wasn't.
我们都喝挂了她一股子烟灰缸味
We-we were both drunk, and she smelled like an ashtray.
船身摇晃不定我还撞碎了她的牙齿
The boat was moving a lot, so I chipped her tooth.
你觉得内疚吗
Did you feel guilty?
不她有牙医保险
No, she had dental insurance.
你和她接吻后觉得内疚吗
Did you feel guilty after kissing her?
当然我刚亲完就后悔了
Yes. I felt guilty as soon as it happened.
每次看到她都有深深的负罪感
I feel guilty every time I see her.
你说每次看到她是什么意思
What do you mean, every time you see her?
我...是什么意思呢
What... do I mean?
老天这个问题可真难
Boy, that's a toughie.
你现在还会见她吗
You still see her?
不不是约她见面的那种
Well, no, not socially.
只是工作时会遇到
But, you know, just at work.
你还和她一起工作吗
You work with her?!
你怎么不告诉我这件事
How could you not tell me that?!
我在车里就想告诉你可你要我闭嘴
I wanted to tell you in the car, but you told me to stop talking!
好呀所以现在是我错了吗
Oh, okay. So you're saying this is my fault?
不当然不是
No, of course not.
好了我说
Okay, l-look,
我们不要吵了
instead of fighting,
不如把灯关掉
why don't we dim the lights,
脱♥光♥光造宝宝好不好
um, get naked and make a baby?
我是在努力调节气氛
I was trying to lighten the mood.
这事可不容易不信你试试
It's not easy. You try it.
妈妈你好
Hello, Mother.
谢利宝贝你还好吗
Shelly! How's my baby doing?
我想让你知道
I just wanted to let you know
你可以把艾米从你的夜祷名单上去掉了
that you can remove Amy from your nightly prayers.
除非你愿意祈祷
Unless you're open to praying for
一个大蜂巢掉在她头上
a beehive to fall on her head.
这是怎么了
Oh, what's going on?
她和我分手了
She broke up with me.
谢利
Oh, Shelly.
不我没事
No, I'll be okay.
但我想把
But I think that I'd like
戒指寄还给你
to send the ring back to you.
先别这么着急
Well, let's not be hasty.
你确定真的结束了吗
Are you sure it's over for good?
反正我是结束了我受够女人了
It's over for me. I'm done with women.
就像我再也不吃跳跳糖一样
Like when I swore off Pop Rocks.
他们都故意伤害我
They both hurt you on purpose.
想跟妈妈倾诉一下吗
You want to tell me what happened?
你会说一切都是上帝安排好的吗
Are you going to say it's all part of God's plan?
很有可能
Good chance.
谢谢那还是算了
Then no, thank you.
宝贝先别把戒指寄回来
Well, honey, don't send it back yet.
你姐姐结婚了我祖母的戒指
Your sister's married, and I'm not letting your brother
我不想送给你哥哥在泡的那个小荡♥妇♥
give my grandmother's ring to that whore he's dating.
抹大拉的玛利亚不也是个妓♥女♥吗
Wasn't Mary Magdalene a woman of ill repute?
如果你那白♥痴♥哥哥可以拯救人间苍生
When your idiot brother redeems mankind,
那他想和谁约会都没问题
he can date whoever he wants.
我知道你现在很难过但会过去的
I know it hurts now, but it's gonna get better.
是的
Yeah.
一切都会好起来
Everything's gonna be okay.
你集无数优点于一身
You've got so much to offer.
谢谢你
Thank you.
能和你在一起是每个男人的荣幸
Any man would be lucky to have you.
没错
That's true.
我只希望我做了正确的选择
I just hope I did the right thing.
我肯定你做得对
I'm sure you did.
或许这就是你的问题永远做正确的选择
Maybe that's the problem-- you always do the right thing.
或许是时候"犯个错误"了
Maybe it's time to do the wrong thing.
比如做你现在这样的错事吗
Like you're doing right now?
没错
Exactly.
我一次又一次问你介不介意
I asked you over and over if you were okay.
如果你介意为什么还要完婚呢
Why would you go through with the wedding if you weren't?
我本来以为我不介意谁知道原来不行
I thought I was okay, but it turns out I'm not.
好吧我或许不是百分百诚实
Okay, listen, I may not have been entirely faithful,
但你体重也不是多轻好吗
but you, you are not easy to lift!
婚姻太适合你了
Well, marriage must agree with you.
你整个人容光焕发啊
Well, you are just glowing.
我才没有容光焕发
I'm not glowing.
我是不爽到炸
I'm upset.
随便你什么心情反正太适合你了
Well, whatever it is, it agrees with you.
敲敲敲佩妮
Knock, knock, knock, Penny?
敲敲敲佩妮
Knock, knock, knock, Penny?
敲敲敲佩妮
Knock, knock, knock, Penny?
这是什么
What's this?
莱纳德都跟我说了
Leonard told me what happened,
所以我自发为你做了热饮
so I took it upon myself to make you a hot beverage.
你真是太贴心了
Oh. That's so sweet of you.
我知道
Yeah. I know.
事实证明这年头
Turns out, being sweet
贴心并不能留住姑娘
isn't enough to keep a girl these days.
都怪麦当娜
I blame Madonna.
很遗憾你和艾米分手了
I'm sorry to hear about you and Amy.
我也很遗憾莱纳德那样对你
Well, I'm sorry about Leonard.
都怪我没教好他
Thought I raised him better than that.
发生那种事已经够糟心了
You know, it's bad enough what happened,
但更糟心的是他还试图隐瞒
but then he tried to hide the fact that he sees her
他整天能在大学里见到她
all the time at the university.
是吗谁啊
He does? Who is it?
一个叫曼蒂的女人
Some girl named Mandy.
-曼蒂·周吗 -对的
- Mandy Chao? - Yeah.
你完全不需要担心她
Oh, you don't need to worry about her.
她美貌与智慧兼具
She's brilliant and attractive.
她能找到比莱纳德好十万倍的男人
She can do way better than Leonard.
太好了
That's great.
等等
Wait a minute.
我知道这话可能有点不现实
I know this may sound farfetched,
但我现在也单身了
but I'm on the market now.
如果我跟曼蒂好上了
You know, if I dated Mandy,
应该能给莱纳德与艾米一个教训
that would teach both Leonard and Amy a lesson.
这也太荒谬了
That's ridiculous.
也是
Oh, you're right.
我决不会跟一个自尊心低到能跟莱纳德
I could never be with a woman whose self-esteem was so low
在一起的女人好上
she'd be with Leonard.
我就跟莱纳德在一起啊
I'm with Leonard.
是啊一辈子呢
Yeah, I know. Forever.
谁敢相信我们居然会碰到这样的事
Who would have believed these things would happen to us?
对吧
Right?