生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S09E15
Part 2
Oct. 5, 2019, 10:10 a.m.
是的 我真的是一名博士
Uh, uh, yes, I really am a doctor.
是的 她真的是我的女朋友
Uh, yes, she really is my girlfriend.
不是 我只是习惯老眨眼
No, I just blink a lot,
并不是在打摩斯密♥码♥求救
it's not Morse code for "Rescue me."
好的
Oh, uh, ok...
有观众打进第一通电♥话♥
Uh, here's our first call.
你好 欢迎来到《有趣的旗帜》
Hello, and welcome to Fun With Flags.
你有什么问题吗
What's your question?
我脑子是哪里有病
What is wrong with me?
为什么我总是自我毁灭
Why am I so self-destructive?
拉杰什
Rajesh?
是我
Yes.
每当事情一帆风顺时 我总有方法毁掉它
Whenever things are going well, I always find a way to ruin it.
你俩看起来很幸福 是怎么做到的
You two look happy-- how do you do it?
我觉得是始于良好的沟通
I-I think it starts with good communication.
是啊 等等 这问题跟旗帜无关
Yeah, wait, that's not a flag question.
下一位
Next caller.
我希望你不会认为我这么说
I hope you don't think I'm just saying this
是因为今天是情人节 但...
because it's Valentine's Day, but...
我真的好爱你
I love you so much.
我要把这玩意扔进你浴袍里
I'm gonna put this down your robe.
它不动了 但我觉得它还活着
It's not moving, but I think it's still alive.
那该把它扔回去多泡几分钟吗
Well, should we put it back in there a few minutes?
不必
No.
这不是老鼠 是只兔子
No, and it's not a rat, it's a rabbit.
我们得救救它
We need to save it.
我们该怎么做
Well, how do we do that?
我不知道 你用手♥机♥查查
Um, I don't know, look it up on your phone.
我拿毛巾包着它
I-I'm gonna wrap it in a towel.
"照顾受伤的兔子"
"Taking care of injured rabbit."
有了
Okay.
确保它既舒服又暖和
Make sure it's comfortable and warm.
它刚泡在热水浴缸里 这条符合
Well, it was just in a hot tub. I'm gonna say "Check."
还有别的吗
Anything else?
确保它没有脱水
To make sure it's not dehydrated,
喂他一勺电解质溶液
feed him an electrolyte solution.
如果没有反应
If it's not responding,
用一块暖布帮他擦洗脸和生殖器
use a warm cloth to wash its face and genitals.
好耶
Yeah.
这真是太过分了
This is ridiculous.
我要去找那个领班谈谈
You know, I'm gonna go talk to the maitre d.
你要说什么
What are you gonna say?
我不知道 我去嗲他几下吧
I don't know. I'm... I'm gonna flirt with him.
我不知道我是否能接受这事
I don't know if I'm comfortable with that.
我今晚还是跟你"睡"啊
I'm still sleeping with you tonight.
你看看能不能弄到靠窗的桌子
See if you can get a table by the window.
你好 你叫什么
Hi there. What's your name?
-格伦 -天啊
- Glen. - Oh, boy,
今晚这里人真是超多啊 格伦
it is crazy in here tonight, huh, Glen?
-情人节嘛 你懂的 -是啊
- Well, you know, Valentine's Day. - Yes.
我猜你女友一定超级郁闷
Bet your girlfriend is super bummed
你今晚得上班
you had to work tonight.
听着 我们等了挺长时间了 我有点...
Anyway, look, we have been waiting a while, and I just...
恕我直言 女士
With all due respect, ma'am,
我无能为力
there's nothing I can do.
你用不着叫我"女士"
You don't have to call me ma'am.
好的
Okay.
我们应该年纪相仿
I mean, we're basically the same age.
好的
Okay.
你几岁
How old are you?
我21岁 你呢
I'm 21. How old are you?
把嘴闭上 格伦
Just shut up, Glen.
走吧 我们离开这里
Come on, let's get out of here.
-为什么 -因为姐年轻 走吧
- What? Why? - Because I'm young. Let's go.
拉杰什 分手后
Rajesh, it's perfectly normal
产生自我怀疑非常正常
to have doubts after breaking up with someone.
你真的这么认为吗
Well, you really think so?
是啊 你知道什么不正常吗
Yeah, you know what's not normal?
在一个旗帜节目里哭诉个人情绪
Blubbering about emotions during a flag show.
除非那种情绪是因为新西兰要变更国旗
Unless that emotion is excitement over New Zealand
喜极而泣
changing their flag.
祝你们好运哦 疯狂的新西兰人
Yeah, good luck, you crazy Kiwis,
我们全力支持你们
we're rooting for you.
你的朋友正在伤心呢
Your friend is hurting.
不 谢尔顿说得对
No, Sheldon's right.
艾丽米说过我老对自己的感受喋喋不休
Emily did say I always talk about my feelings too much.
我想
I-I suppose that
这应该算是恋爱中需要注意的一点
could be a legitimate concern in a relationship.
甚至可以算作恋爱路上的危险红旗
Uh, perhaps even a-a red flag.
说到红旗
And speaking of red flags,
请看这面来自前苏联的性感红旗
check out this sexy number from the former Soviet Union.
相当地诱人吧
Hubba, hubba.
又有一位观众打电♥话♥来了
Uh, we-we have another caller.
你好 这里是《有趣的旗帜》
Hi. You're on Fun with Flags.
你好 我也想倾诉下我有多孤独
Hello. I want to talk about how lonely I am, too.
克里普克 是你吗
Kripke? Is that you?
是我 我独自一人坐在电脑前
Yeah, I'm just sitting here all by myself
思考着我这辈子是否还能找到我的爱人
wondering if I'll ever find someone to share my life with.
最好是亚洲人 18至24岁 不能是胖妞
Preferably Asian, 18-24, no fatties.
拜托 所有的留言和问题
Please, all comments and questions
都必须和旗帜有关
should be flag-related.
好啊 我裤裆中的"旗杆"算吗
All right. Is my pole flag-related?
当然算啦
I don't see why not.
他开始吃东西了 这是个好现象
He's eating. That's a good sign.
吃饭以后要等上一个小时
You're gonna have to wait one hour
才能再游泳哦
until you can go swimming again.
-他好可爱哦 -的确
- He's pretty cute. - He is.
我们应该...给他取名吗
Should we... name him?
今天是情人节[圣华伦丁节]
It is Valentine's Day.
就叫华伦天奴怎么样
How about Valentino?
很好 很经典的小兔名字
Nice. A classic rabbit name.
彼得兔 罗杰兔
Peter Rabbit, Roger Rabbit.
皆为著名的卡♥通♥兔子
华伦天奴·沃罗威茨兔
Valentino Wolowitz Rabbit.
看看你茂密的胸毛和小龅牙
Oh, look at all that chest hair and overbite.
完全就是沃罗威茨家族的一员呀
Of course you're a Wolowitz.
我勒个去 他咬了我
Son of a bitch! He bit me!
你没事吧
Are you okay?
当然有事了
No, I'm not okay!
野兔可能携带狂犬病呢
Wild rabbits can have rabies!
谁叫你把手指放在他的嘴边
Oh. Well, why did you put your finger near its mouth?
明显是因为我犯傻嘛
Poor judgment, obviously.
他这么小 我想应该没事的
He's so little. I'm sure it's fine.
怎么可能没事 我刚刚被一只
How can it be fine? I just got attacked
具有反犹太倾向的野生动物袭击了
by a clearly anti-Semitic wild animal.
虽然和我们原计划不一样
It's not what we planned,
但这样也不坏 对吧
but this isn't so bad, right?
这实在是太赞了
It is freaking amazing.
很高兴看你心情好一点了
Well, glad you're feeling better.
我刚才是又饿又憋气
I was just hungry and cranky,
我从来没被人叫过"女士"呢
and I've never been called "Ma'am" before.
-这件事很严重吗 -算严重吧
- Is that a big deal? - Kind of.
你第一次被叫作"先生"是什么时候
When was the first time someone called you "Sir"?
小学六年级
Sixth grade,
当时我穿着休闲西装 提着公文包 所以...
but I wore a sport coat and carried a briefcase, so...
你能相信我遇见你时才22岁吗
Can you believe when I met you I was 22?
真是时光匆匆啊
I mean, it's crazy!
时间都去哪儿了
Where did all that time go?
都被你用来看《单身汉》相亲节目了
Mm, you watched The Bachelor a lot.
你想开玩笑就开吧
Yeah, go ahead and make jokes,
但你的三十岁也马上就要过完了
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The Big Bang Theory
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