生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S09E09
Part 1
Oct. 5, 2019, 10:10 a.m.
你们知道有个新功能
Have you guys seen this feature
可以跟Siri对话不用按按钮吗
that lets you talk to Siri without pressing any buttons?
不知道 怎么操作
No. How does it work?
你就说 "Siri 现在几点"
You just say, uh, "Hey, Siri, what time is it?"
现在是下午6点37
The time is 6:37 P.M.
所以现在谁都可以控制你的手♥机♥吗
So now anyone can control your phone?
Siri 找老奶奶的光屁屁图给我看
Hey, Siri, show me pictures of naked grandma butts.
想得美
Nice try.
它只会听从我的声音指示
It only recognizes my voice.
厉害
Oh. Cool.
Siri 早老莱莱的框屁屁图给窝砍
Hey, Siri, show me pictures of naked grandma butts.
我的声音才不是那样
I don't sound like that.
这些是老奶奶的光屁屁图
Here are some images of naked grandma butts.
好消息 各位
Hey. Good news, everybody.
鉴于我跟艾米已经分手了
Now that I'm no longer with Amy,
我有多一张水族馆餐厅的
I have an extra ticket to the annual Thanksgiving lunch buffet
年度感恩节自助午餐票 谁想要啊
at the aquarium cafeteria. Who wants it?
你们知道不是自己去吧
Well, you realize you won't be going alone--
我会全程陪伴
I'll be there the whole time.
并提供各种鱼类与移♥民♥的小知识哦
Providing fish and pilgrim facts.
你们听得到我说话吗
Can you people hear me?
我们邀请了大家来聚餐
Well, we're having everyone over.
所以我跟莱纳德那天都得在家做饭
Yeah, Leonard and I are gonna be cooking all day.
不然我们肯定超想去
Otherwise we'd love to.
可实在没办法
But we can't.
我们运气太不好了
Yeah, poor us.
我跟拉杰要去粥棚当自愿者
And Raj and I are volunteering at the soup kitchen,
给无家可归的人发食物
feeding food to the homeless.
霍华德 那你呢
Well, Howard, what about you?
我去不了
Oh...I can't.
我也要跟去粥棚当自愿者
I'm going to the soup kitchen, too.
你明明说这是史上最烂的活动
You said that sounded like the worst thing ever.
如果我撒谎时你不挺我
If you can't support me when I'm lying,
那我们结婚干嘛
why are we married?
谢尔顿 有什么事吗
Hi, Sheldon. What's up?
我打来是因为感恩节马上要到了
Well, I'm calling because Thanksgiving is coming up,
我想送你水族馆的票
and I wanted to offer you the aquarium tickets.
没人可以陪你去吗
No one can go with you?
没有 他们宁愿聚在一起过节
No. They'd rather spend the holiday with each other
也不想知道今年我会不会终于敢摸海星
than find out if this is the year I finally touch a starfish.
我不想票就这么浪费了
Anyway, I wouldn't want the tickets to go to waste,
所以你想带谁去就带谁去吧
so take whomever you'd like.
好吧 谢谢
Okay. Thank you.
我不介意你跟你的伴说
And feel free to tell your guest that
缅♥甸♥鲶鱼又称移♥民♥鱼这个小知识
the Myanmar catfish is also known as the pilgrim fish.
以防到时火鸡肉太干
In case the turkey's dry
而你需要多汁有料的知识救场
and you need something juicy.
谢尔顿 我看得出来你很想去
Sheldon... I can tell you want to go,
所以如果你不介意的话
so if you'd be comfortable with it,
我们能以朋友身份一起去啊
maybe we could go as friends.
你不会觉得这很尴尬吗
You don't think that will be awkward?
感恩节在水族馆饭堂里吃饭
Well... it is Thanksgiving in an aquarium cafeteria,
我猜应该是会挺尴尬吧
so I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say yes.
但如果你是说我俩之间
But if you mean between us...
我不觉得会尴尬
I think it'll be fine.
那行
Very well, then.
感恩节早上见吧
I'll see you on Thanksgiving morning.
到时见
See you then.
先忘了我刚说的缅♥甸♥鲶鱼小知识吧
Oh, and forget what I said about the Myanmar catfish.
我的海洋主题移♥民♥小知识列表还挺短的
My list of marine-themed pilgrim facts is pretty short.
你知道史上第一次过感恩节的时候
Did you know they served shellfish and eel
上桌的菜还有贝类跟鳗鱼吗
at the very first Thanksgiving?
小知识列表到此完毕了
And there goes my list.
所以这是怎么个运作方式
So, how does this work?
粥棚经理会给我们分配工作
The soup kitchen manager assigns the jobs,
一个班次是六小时
and the shifts are six hours.
要六小时啊
Six hours?
天啊 人家不想哇哇叫这么长时间啊
Oh, God, I don't want to complain for that long.
你这辈子有为别人付出过吗
Do you ever do anything for anyone else?
小爷恰好是一位乐于"奉献"的爱人
I happen to be a giving and generous lover.
我跟你的关系好到可以说他很变♥态♥了吗
Are you and I close enough for me to say that's creepy?
可以 而且我觉得你想说的字眼应该是"恶"
We are, and I believe the word you're looking for is... yech!
有什么能帮忙的吗
Uh, can I help you?
你好 我们想来当自愿者
Hi. We'd like to volunteer.
很谢谢你们特地跑一趟过来
Oh, I appreciate you guys coming down,
但我们已经够人手了
but we already have enough people.
平常任何时候 欢迎你们来
Any other day, please, come back.
好吧
Oh. Okay.
收起你脸上欠扁的笑容
Wipe that smug smile off your face.
我只是因为听到很多人来帮助不幸的人们
Maybe I'm happy that so many people turned up
心中乐开了花而已啊
to help the less fortunate.
我跟你的关系好到可以说他...
Are you and I close enough for me to say...
是个贱♥人♥吗 他已经抢先证明了
That he's an ass? He beat you to it.
我说错了 有一大批人来不了了
I was wrong. A large group had to cancel.
太好了 我们很乐意帮忙
Oh, great. We'd love to help.
收起你脸上欠扁的笑容
Wipe that smug smile off your face.
臣妾做不到啊
I can't!
看看我们俩
Look at us!
我俩第一次以夫妻身份过感恩节
Our first Thanksgiving as husband and wife.
对啊
I know.
感觉自己是个大人
I feel so grown up.
亲爱的 你本来就是大人
Sweetie, you are grown up.
真的吗
Really?
有多少大人
How many grown-ups do you know
拥有史波克的烤箱手套呢
who have Mr. Spock oven mitts?
菜谱在我的iPad里
Hey, the recipes are on my iPad.
-帮我点开 -好
- Will you pull 'em up? - Yep.
-锁屏密♥码♥ -我的生日
- What's the code? - My birthday.
不对啊
It's not working.
就四位数字而已 月份加日期
It's just the four digits-- month and day.
不对啊
Nope.
我看看
Let me see.
可以啊
Yeah, there.
你输入的数字是多少
What number were you putting in?
你不知道我生日 对吧
You don't know my birthday, do you?
我当然知道
Yes, I do.
那你说说
Well, what is it?
5月
May.
5月几号♥
May what?
大庭广众之下我怎么可以说出来
I'm not gonna say your password out loud.
太不安全了
That is not secure.
你居然不知道你老公的生日
You don't know your own husband's birthday.
你也不知道我的所有事情啊
Well...you don't know everything about me.
你的生日是12月2号♥
Your birthday is December 2,
你小时候的家在珀金斯街上
you grew up on Perkins Street,
你的社保号♥码尾四位数是
the last four digits of your social are
7 6 2 1
7-6-2-1,
想让我放过你不提这件事的几率是0
and the odds of me letting you forget this are zero.
快瞧我们俩
Oh, look at us.
最后一次以夫妻身份过感恩节
Our last Thanksgiving as husband and wife.
你好啊
Hello.
你好
Hi.
准备好要去水族馆了吗
Ready for the aquarium?
当然
I am.
对了 为了要减少尴尬
You know, and in an effort to reduce awkwardness
我们还得练习以朋友关系相处
as we learn how to function as friends,
我特意打了一张不会触碰地雷的聊天话题
I printed out a list of safe topics for polite conversation.
这样你会好受点的话 那行吧
If that makes you more comfortable.
如果真有"能让我好受的事情"的列表
If there were a list of things that make me more comfortable,
列表上的第一件就会是"列表"
lists would be on the top of that list.
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