生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S09E03

Part 2 Oct. 5, 2019, 10:09 a.m.

- Yes! - Good for you!
但我后来决定我才不要因为某个男人
But then I decided I don't want to go changing who I am
改变原本的自己
just because of some man.
-当然 -好样的
- Yes. - Good for you.
很多人
You know, it is normal
在分手之后都会想改头换面
to want to change your look after a breakup.
其实我在考虑做一个小小的改变
Actually, I was thinking of making one small change.
-换毛衣 -换眼镜
- Your sweater? - Your glasses?
-换发型 -换鞋子
- Your hair? - Your shoes!
穿耳洞
Piercing my ears.
你以前从来没穿过吗
You really never had that done?
我妈说穿耳洞的人不是妓♥女♥
My mom said pierced ears were for whores,
就是海盗和妖怪
pirates and genies.
好吧你现在都是大人了
Okay, well, you're a grown woman now.
我知道但谢尔顿在
I know, but Sheldon had this clause
《恋爱协议》里
in the Relationship Agreement
明文禁止做美容手术
forbidding cosmetic surgery
除非做出来效果像克林贡人
unless it's to look like a Klingon.
我们带你去商场里做就好啦
We'll take you to the mall to get it done.
干嘛我在这就能帮她做
Why? I can do it right here.
是吗
Really?
-你有打耳洞的枪吗 -没有
- You have a piercing gun? - No.
用一根针和一颗冰块就能搞定
All you need is a needle and an ice cube.
我以前做过很多次啦
I've done it, like, a dozen times.
这样好吗
Oh, I don't know.
来嘛我会很温柔的
Oh, come on. I'll be gentle.
让我来破你耳朵的处吧
Let me take your ear virginity.
这个派对感觉好奇怪
This party's weird.
别开这么快
Hey, watch your speed.
听说墨西哥警♥察♥专找游客麻烦
I hear the Mexican police target tourists.
别担心啦
Oh, not a problem.
如果发生什么事
If anything goes down,
我们就让库萨帕里坐到驾驶座上
we just put Koothrappali in the driver's seat
再给他弄顶墨西哥草帽戴上
and slap a sombrero on his head.
伙计你一口气能激怒多少个种族
Dude, how many races can you offend in a single breath?
不晓得你跟我一起看过奥林匹克运动会吗
I don't know. Have you watched the Olympics with me?
谢尔顿你能相信我们开的这辆面包车
Sheldon, can you believe that we're driving in a van that was owned by
曾属于20世纪最伟大的科学家之一吗
one of the greatest scientific minds of the 20th century?
简直就像蝙蝠战车
It's like the Batmobile.
前提是蝙蝠侠真实存在
If Batman was real
而且是一位物理学家
and a physicist
车还得不酷才行
and his car wasn't cool.
这体验的确非比寻常
It is extraordinary.
或许这车能让我们沾上他的好运呢
Perhaps some of his mojo will rub off on us.
或许蹭蹭他的车和豪♥宅♥
Maybe between this and his beach house,
我们能被激励成就大事
we will be inspired to greatness.
通常我不会对符咒或护身符寄予厚望
I usually don't put too much stock in charms and talismans.
然而我必须承认
However, even I must admit
自己的屁♥股♥坐在
feeling Richard Feynman's butt dent
理查德·费曼的屁♥股♥印上
cupping my own bottom...
真是让我创意如泉涌啊
that does get the creative juices flowing.
这车我还得还回去呢
Hey, I have to return this van.
麻烦不要让你的创意"喷射"出你的裤子
Keep your creative juices in your pants.
怎么回事
What was that?
可能爆胎了
I think it's a tire.
没准是土匪朝咱们开枪了
What if it's banditos shooting at us?
没准我们会被绑♥架♥
What if we get kidnapped?
没准我们余生会沦落到某个工厂
What if we end up in a factory making Bart Simpson pinatas
终日做卡♥通♥皮纳塔
for the rest of our lives?!
一种纸糊的容器里面装满糖果与玩具
在节庆或生日是挂空中让人击打
爆胎而已啦
It's the tire.
莱纳德
Leonard?
干嘛
What?
我太老了力不从心了
I am getting too old for this crud.
艾米我注意到你脸书的状态
Amy, I noticed your status still says
还是"恋爱中"
"In a relationship" on Facebook.
你说得对
You're right.
我应该通知我脸书上所有的朋友
I should probably let all of my Facebook friends know.
佩妮我已经分手了
Penny, I'm no longer in a relationship.
你的状态改为"已婚"了吗
Did you change yours to "Married" yet?
还没
Uh, no, not yet.
有几个人我还没亲自告诉他们
There's still a few people I haven't told personally.
谁
Who?
就我爸妈
Oh, just my parents
和我全家人
and my entire family.
-什么 -为什么
- What? - Why?
我不想让我爸伤心
Well, I don't want to hurt my dad.
他一直梦想着
You know, he always wanted
在自己女儿的婚礼上跟她共舞
to dance with his daughter at her wedding.
那你姐姐的婚礼呢
What about your sister's wedding?
没跳两下她羊水就破了
They started to, then her water broke.
如果他发现我们私定终身了
You know, if he finds out we eloped,
我爸肯定心碎不已
it's gonna break his heart.
你觉得你能瞒他瞒多久
How long do you think you can keep it from him?
对啊你瞒得越久不就越坏事吗
Yeah, isn't it gonna get worse the longer you wait?
不一定哦
Well, not necessarily.
我爸一天天在老去
You know, Dad's not getting any younger,
所以等到他年老不记事时
so if I wait long enough,
我就告诉他当初是他陪我走红毯
I'll just tell him he walked me down the aisle
场面非常感人
and it was magical.
你什么时候学会换轮胎的
When did you learn how to change a tire?
任何一个有自尊心的绅士都应该知道这个
Every self-respecting gentleman should know how
以防哪天在路边遇到有一位
in case he comes across a damsel in distress
需要帮助的少女
by the side of the road.
如果我看见一个蝎子
If I see one scorpion,
我就跳上你们谁的肩膀
I am getting on someone's shoulders
永远都不下来
and never coming down.
你遇到的是需要帮助的少男
And there's your damsel.
这螺母卡得太死了
Wow, this one's really stuck.
你拧对方向了吗
Are you turning it the right way?
不
No.
我顺利拧下其他四个螺母后
I took the other four off
突然一拍脑袋心想
and when I got to this one, I thought,
"太千篇一律了换个方向试试吧"
"You know, I'm in a rut. Let's shake things up."
让我试试
Here, let me try.
你说得对另一个方向也拧不动
You're right, it doesn't turn the other way.
好了大功告成
There you go. You're all done!
没有想象中那么痛啊
That wasn't so bad.
真好看
Nice.
要是我妈现在看到我
Boy, if my mom could see me now,
她会把我锁进罪恶衣柜
she'd lock me in the sin closet.
你是开玩笑的吧
That's a joke, right?
其实她才是那个笑话
Actually, the joke was on her.
因为我可以从柜门缝隙之间看到电视
I could still see the TV through the slats.
我开始明白你为啥和你妈不太亲近了
I'm starting to see why you and your mom aren't very close.
我打赌她结婚时还是会通知她妈
Bet she'd still tell her if she got married.
你就是不肯放过我是吧
You're not gonna let this go, are you?
把他们蒙在鼓里是挺过分的
Well, it's kind of sad that they don't know.
他们多喜欢莱纳德啊
I mean, they love Leonard.
好吧你们想让我打电♥话♥
Fine, you want me to call?
那我就打
I'll call.
我怎么这么紧张啊
Why am I so nervous?
这很正常
It's understandable.
艾米也很怕告诉她妈和谢尔顿分手的事
Amy was afraid to tell her mom she broke up with Sheldon.
是吗结果怎么样
Yeah? How did it go?
她逼着你爬进分手抽屉吗
Did she make you crawl into the breaking-up drawer?
老实说
Uh, well, actually, to be honest...
我还没告诉她呢
I-I haven't told her yet.
你这么起劲催着我
You've been giving me a hard time
而你自己却还没把分手的事告诉你妈
and you haven't even told your mom about Sheldon?
我失血过多头好晕哦