杰茜驾到（2011）

New Girl S03E22

Part 1 Nov. 20, 2020, 3:10 p.m.

Thanks for helping me with my school dance.
舞会的事谢谢你帮忙
"Love is forever...
"爱是永恒
and ever... and ever..."
永恒永恒..."
How many "And evers"?
到底有几个"永恒"
Technically, infinity,
准确地说应该有无数个
but I could only fit 12.
可我只写得下十二个
Wow, this is gonna be tough for you, huh?
这对你来说很艰难是吧
Yes. Foster said we couldn't afford it,
对福斯特说我们出不起钱
but I really stuck my neck out for this dance.
可我已经期待很久了
No, I... I mean
我是说
because the theme of the dance is
舞会的主题是
"Love is forever," and...
爱是永恒的
Nick, and the breakup...
可是和尼克的事分手的事
What? No. Cece, look.
怎么了希希听着
You remember what school dances were like for me.
你知道我对学校舞会的态度
They were miserable.
舞会太糟糕了
I was just waiting in the bathroom
我一般都是躲在卫生间
for Tim Keymaker to magically appear and ask me out.
等着锁门的提姆突然出现来赶我
I remember.
我记得
I was smoking in the stall next to you.
我一般都在你旁边的隔间抽烟
We get it; you were bad.
我知道你很坏
I just don't want it to be like it was for me.
我不想把自己搞成舞会主角
I want them to have an incredible time.
我想让大家都开开心心的
My life is a bit of a mess right now, but
我目前的生活糟透了
the one thing I can do
可我现在唯一能做的
is throw an amazing dance for them.
就是为他们办一场超赞的舞会
"Love is forever and ever...
"爱是永恒永恒...
and ever."
永恒"
What is, what is this?
这是什么
The theme of Jess' school dance.
杰茜舞会的主题
That's pretty ironic, huh?
太讽刺了
Jess, you poor thing.
杰茜你这个小可怜
Come-come here. Come here.
过来过来
What?
什么
What?
什么
Just... there.
过来
What are you doing?
你在干吗
All right.
这样
Uh-huh. Okay.
这样
Oh, I know. I know.
我明白我明白
I know.
我懂你
What's happening?
这是怎么了
I got hug number two locked and loaded.
下一个是我
Soft or hard, it's up to you.
要凶猛的还是温柔的随你挑
I know.
我明白
Schmidt...
施密特
Ay-ay-ay, I needed a shvitz.
早该来蒸一蒸了
Ech, me, too.
我也是
My arms are so sore.
胳膊好酸
I've been doing so many push-ups.
做太多俯卧撑了
That seems like a lie.
我不信
No, I'm trying to stay fit after the breakup.
是真的分手后我很努力保持身材
I've been eating salads.
我都一直在吃沙拉
You know, no dressing.
不加调料的那种
Mostly just the protein.
只有蛋白质
What kind of salads you been eating?
你吃的是什么沙拉
The little chopped-up pieces of ham.
切碎的火腿
Just the ham?
只有火腿吗
Yeah.
没错
I don't like the lettuce.
我不喜欢生菜
I think it's gross to eat stuff that already... it's green.
已经发绿的东西吃起来很恶心
Well, look, you know, baby steps.
你可以慢慢来
It's not baby steps.
这可不是慢慢来
There are some pretty big pieces of ham.
火腿可都是很大块的
Okay. It's... you know, it's good.
好吧这样很好你知道的
I-I genuinely miss goofing around with Jess.
我挺怀念和杰茜在一起胡闹的日子
Breakups aren't supposed to be easy, so...
分手总是很难熬的
Wow, that's really mature of you, man.
你能这样想很好伙计
We're doing something where we're...
不管我和杰茜做什么
we're not allowed to be in a room alone
只要我们俩在一块
together without Winston.
温斯顿总要在场
'Cause he just naturally takes the sexual tension out of a room.
他总能把房♥间里的情趣给磨没了
What'd you guys want?
你们要干嘛
You see? I'm proud of you.
我为你骄傲
That's what I'm talking about. We're men.
我就是这个意思我们是人
We've felt pain, we've survived it.
我们痛苦然后熬过去
Look at me.
看看我
I'm watching Cece drool over some 20-year-old.
希希对二十岁小白脸花痴的时候我都没插手
How could she be interested in a boy
眼前就有这么完美的熟男
when she could have these ripe berries?
她居然还要找小男生
Look at these, Nick.
看这个尼克
Put your towel down.
把毛巾放下来
Oh, God, I need a shvitz.
老天我也要蒸一蒸
Why does my sweat smell like asparagus?
我的汗怎么一股芦笋味
He does take all the sexual tension out of a room.
他确实是情趣杀手
Man, I heat up every room I walk into.
伙计我总能嗨翻全场
Put me next to a dozen eggs.
把我放在一堆蛋旁边
They hatchin'. You know why?
它们就能孵出来知道为什么吗
'Cause I got the heat of a mother hen.
因为我像母鸡一样热情似火
There was no sexual tension in here before he got here.
他进来之前这儿就一点情趣都没有
Keep telling yourself that, Nick.
你就自欺欺人吧尼克
Congrats, chaperones!
恭喜家长护卫队
With your help, tonight is going to be...unforgettable.
有你们相助今晚的舞会一定会很难忘
I didn't sign up for this.
我不是自愿参加的
No, you didn't. None of you did.
确实不是你们都不是
In fact, none of you have ever, ever
事实上你们都没有
signed up for any school event, ever.
参加过任何学校的活动
Which means you've never felt the joy
这也就是说你们从未体验过
of exchanging your free time
抽出一些业余时间
for a child's smile.
以换孩子们笑颜的乐趣
I never volunteer because of my Munchausen syndrome.
我从来不参加是因为我有孟乔森综合症
Are we getting paid?
我们有报酬吗
You will get paid, um, actually,
有报酬的事实上
in attractive hats that I made.
你们会得到我亲手制♥作♥的可爱的帽子
They say "Chaperone."
上面写着"陪伴"
And Gary the Janitor has one
清洁员盖里的帽子上写着
that says "Clean up crew."
"清理人员"
You call me Gary the Janitor
你叫我清洁员盖里
as if me being a janitor
说得好像我就只有清洁员
is my whole identity.
这一个身份一样
It's like someone calling you
就好像有人叫你
Jess the Third-Hottest White Teacher.
第三性感的白人女教师杰茜一样
Okay.
好吧
Are we done?
说完了吗
I'm gonna say we're done.
那我就当我们说完了
Yeah. Okay.
好啊
Thank-thanks, guys. Good-good meeting.
谢谢了同事们早会愉快
I don't know where I'm supposed to be right now.
我都不知道我现在该去哪儿
Thanks, guys.
谢谢大家
It's gonna be great!
肯定会很棒的
You don't have to wear that, Coach.
你不必戴那个帽子的教练
As far as I'm concerned,
在我看来
this dance starts now.
舞会现在开始了
I know how important this dance is to you.
我知道这次舞会对你来说有多重要
Those kids won't get away with anything.
这些孩子一个都别想偷溜
If they want to bang,
他们要是想捣乱
they're gonna have to bang through me.
得先从我身上踏过去
Wait.
等等
If they want to bang,
他们要是想捣乱
they're gonna have to bang through me!
得先从我身上踏过去