杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S03E11
Part 1
Nov. 20, 2020, 3:05 p.m.
Well nothing brightens up a rainy day,
只有品尝威士忌
I get Scotch tasting, guys.
才能让雨天也明媚起来 伙计们
It's not raining today. It hasn't rained in months.
今天没下雨 好几个月没下过雨了
Shh, don't ruin the moment.
不要破坏气氛
There's actually a huge forest fire. Dude, you should turn on the news.
森林大火倒是有 哥们 你应该看看新闻了
This is a 15-year-old French oak reserve.
这可是十五年的法国橡木珍藏
Mm! A note of cedar, vanilla, tobacky.
能感觉到雪松 香草 烟草香
Boozy.
豪饮
Hunting, fishing, shooting,
狩猎 打渔 射击
fatherhood, bonding...
父爱 约定
Sadness.
伤感
Please don't leave me.
请别离开我
Cheers, guys. Put 'er there Schmidty. Cheers.
伙计们干杯 来碰杯施密特 干杯
Cheers.
干杯
To a nice quiet evening. Tranquil.
敬这美妙安静的夜晚 宁静
This moment is so chill and absent of drama,
这种时刻真冷清 缺点戏剧性
I want to call it "Tim Duncan."
我想叫它"蒂姆·邓肯"[NBA马刺队球星]
I have 21 minutes to make a life-changing decision
二十一分钟内我要做个改变一生的决定
and you beautiful sons-a-bitches are gonna help me!
你们这些狗♥娘♥养♥的帅哥们得帮帮我
That is $45 worth of Scotch right there.
那是价值四十五美元的威士忌
It tastes disgusting. I don't like it.
味道真恶心 姐不喜欢
第三季 第十一集
杰茜驾到
So, obviously, Nick has told you about how I've been volunteering
显然尼克已经告诉过你们
at the Children's Museum,
我是如何成为儿童博物馆志愿者的
and really hitting it off with the head curator, Candace, right?
以及我跟馆长康德斯如何情投意合 对吧
In my way, I have.
用我特有的方法 说过
I've never heard that. Hasn't said a word. Thank God.
我没听说过 只字未提 上帝啊
Come on.
拜托
Guys, give me one second.
伙计们 稍等一下
I gotta go play a round of "Car Keys Monty"
我得跟凯文九七玩一把
with Kevin-97 or he'll try to drive home.
"车钥匙蒙蒂"否则他就要酒驾回家了
So, anyway, about a month ago,
情况是 大概一个月之前
Candace calls me and tells me
康德斯打电♥话♥给我
there might be a full-time fund-raising position opening up
说可能会有一个全职筹款职位
and I'd be perfect for it. There we go,
而且我是最佳人选 来吧
look for the keys, look for the keys, look for the keys.
钥匙在哪 钥匙在哪 钥匙在哪
And she keeps pushing me for an answer,
她一直催我给个答复
and I keep putting her off.
而我一直是一拖再拖
I say, "Thank you very much. I'm very flattered,
我说 非常感谢 我受宠若惊
but I already have a job. Me teacher."
但我已经有工作了 我 老师
That's a grammar joke. You get it.
这是个语法玩笑 你懂了
Look at the jukebox for a sec.
看那边的自动点唱机
When I think of teachers, I think of two things: Jessica Day
提起老师 我能想到两件事 杰茜卡·戴
and pornography where the characters are teachers.
以及色情片里面的老师
Well, of course I've always wanted to be a teacher,
当然我一直都想当老师
but my school's a disaster.
但我那学校简直是场灾难
Justice Brandeis believed that...
布兰代斯大♥法♥官认为...
Ms. Day?
戴老师
Education's Principal Foster, everybody!
各位 这是福斯特校长
Thank you so much.
非常感谢
Ms. Day, we have hit a construction hiccup
戴老师 整修时我们遇到了点
in our renovation, so... Okay.
建筑糟心问题 所以 好吧
everybody's gonna have to be sharing
大家得共同使用
classroom space. What?
教室空间了 什么
Hey, do you have a freezer or should I flush these frogs?
你有冰柜吗 还是我得把这些青蛙冲走
My check comes either way.
不管哪种方法我都要付钱
Oh, come on. Foster's sticking us with the math kids
天 福斯特让我们跟那些用字母而不用数字的
that use letters instead of numbers?
数学小孩呆在一起
Do you mean algebra?
你是说代数吗
I guess.
估计是
Anyway, it's gonna be a couple of crazy months, huh?
反正这几个月要疯了
I'm sorry? Months?
什么 好几个月
Right. Years if the bond issue fails.
没错 要是保险不批准就得好几年
Which it might,
这种情况很可能发生
since voters are trending anti-future.
因为选举人都倾向于只看眼前
Anti-future? Who's anti-future?
只看眼前 谁只看眼前
I don't know. The Amish?
我不知道 阿米什人
The dying?
快死的人
Television industry, print media,
电视产业 印刷媒体
record industry, railroad industry,
唱片业 铁路业
karaoke machine owners. You got this?
有卡拉OK点唱机的人 你能拿一下吗
I'm gonna go not smoke pot.
我要去用无烟壶了
So my phone rings...
然后我的手♥机♥响了...
Oh, we telling phone stories? Nice.
在讲手♥机♥的故事吗 很好听
No, I'm talking about work.
不 我在说工作
So your phone rings.
说到你的手♥机♥响了
And it's Candace officially offering me the job!
是康德斯打来正式向我提供这个工作
And I told her I'd think about it!
我跟她说我会考虑
Wow, you not being a school teacher?
你居然不要当老师了
Well, you have found my flabbergast button,
我的大吃一惊按钮被你发现了
and guess what, you've pressed it.
猜怎么着 你还按下去了
I'm flabbergasted as hell, too.
我也惊得下巴都掉了
Look, I've been a teacher my entire life,
听着 我当了一辈子老师
and I've always wanted to be a teacher,
当然 我也一直想当老师
but maybe I should be doing something else. I don't know.
但是 也许我该干点别的了 我也不知道
How do you know when you're on the right path?
你怎么知道这条路就走对了呢
It's crazy. It's crazy.
太疯狂了 太疯狂了
That wasn't a rhetorical question.
刚才说的不是反问句
What I like to do is just take a drive up there PCH maybe.
要我的话可能会在太平洋滨海公路上飙车
Willy Wonka once said...
威利·旺卡[巧克力工厂的主人]就会说...
Guys, Candace is calling at 6:00 to find out my final answer!
伙计们 康德斯六点打来听我的最后答复
What?
什么
I'm sorry you're in such a pickle.
很遗憾你困在这种困境中
But I'm not sorry that I get to time something!
但是我很开心又可以计时了
19 minutes, people!
还有十九分钟 各位
All right. Just to be clear, 19 minutes until 6:00.
好吧 重复一遍 还差十九分钟六点
I'm not sure this is helping.
我觉得这样没什么帮助
This brings a whole new level of tension to the whole situation.
只会让事情更紧张
Yeah, because you're being timed now.
对 因为现在你被计时了
This is a life-changing decision, that's it.
这可是改变一生的决定 仅此而已
You time a lot of stuff, Coach. 46 seconds.
你计时计得够多了教练 四十六秒了
17 minutes till 6:00. 17 minutes, Jess.
还差十七分钟六点 十七分钟 杰茜
Coach, do you always wear a stopwatch? Like always?
教练 你总戴着秒表吗
You familiar with Rollergirl's relationship
你知道摇摇女孩[慢摇风格歌♥手]
to her skates in Boogie Nights?
和她在《一夜成名》溜冰之间的关系吗[色情片]
Yes.
知道
Well, I'm not,
而我却不知道
because I don't watch movies, I time them.
因为我不看电影 我只给他们计时
They're pornographers, but they're also a family.
他们是色情片演员 但也是一家人
1:45:30 official running time, my round ass!
时长一小时四十五分三十秒 我去
Jess, choosing a career path is never easy,
杰茜 选择事业之路从来都不容易
but what I found...
但是我发现的...
Oh, my God. Shut up, dude! Come on.
老天啊 闭嘴吧伙计 拜托
She's looking for career advice.
她需要的是职业建议
Your job could be done by a vending machine.
而你的工作 自动贩卖♥♥机也能完成
Guys, don't be mean.
伙计们 别这么刻薄
So Nick doesn't have a traditional career. I mean...
尼克有的不是传统意义上的事业
Or is it the most traditional?
或者说 这才是最传统的
Maybe I'm thinking about prostitution.
也许我该考虑去做男公♥关♥
Guys, as you all know, I am the expert
伙计们 你们都知道 在择业方面
at changing career paths.
我可是专家
Is this something we're now bragging about?
我们是在吹嘘这种事吗
No, Schmidt, I'm referring to my decision
不 施密特 我说的是我做的
to quit playing the game of basketball.
退出篮球圈的决定
Jess, I will tell you this, it was not easy.
杰茜 我来告诉你 这不简单
It all began back...
一切要从头说起
Come on, Winston. Move it along.
得了吧 温斯顿 快点说
Okay, Jess, fine,
好吧 杰茜
but don't blame me if you get lost in the nooks and crannies
不过若你在我们称之为"温斯顿生活"的
of this crazy English muffin we call Winston's life.
这种疯狂英式松饼中迷失了可别怪我
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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