杰茜驾到（2011）

I have to go.
我得走了
For once in your life, don't be afraid.
拜托你就这一次 不要怂了
Can anyone help me get in the building?
有没有人能帮我进去
Jess!
杰茜
Come on. Come on, come on.
快点快点快点
Jess, where'd you go?
杰茜 你去哪了
Stay right there! Stay right there!
在那别动 在那别动
Hey, Miller.
米勒
Ti amo, Jessica.
我爱你 杰茜卡
I love you, too, Ghee.
我也爱你 吉
Hey. Bathroom buds.
你们好啊 洗手间好姐妹
Get lost?
迷路了吗
Look at those horny, horny hippos.
看这俩基佬多饥渴
I'm gay for you like that.
我对你也是这样的
Hey, man. Hell of a book tour.
兄弟 你的书籍巡回展太牛了
I mean, Pepperwood's European sales are already spiking.
《加州桂》在欧洲的销量已经开始飙升
Hey, have a good weekend. See you tomorrow.
祝周末愉快 明天见
I love you. I love you, too.
我爱你 我也爱你
And that's why we're capping off six months of European romance
所以我们六个月的欧洲浪漫之旅
with the most romantic destination of all.
要以最浪漫的终点画上句号♥
A three-year-old's birthday party.
三岁小孩的生日派对
Wait till everyone sees what Mama's got on her finger.
让他们看看妈妈我手指上戴了什么
I still can't believe it.
我依然无法相信
Me, neither.
我也是
"My name is Ruth Bader Parikh-Schmidt,
"我叫露丝·巴德·帕里克-施密特"
and I am three today."
"今天三岁了"
Can you say that?
说一遍试试
Daddy's butt!
爸爸的屁♥股♥
Close enough. Okay, but where is Daddy's butt?
好吧 话说你♥爸♥到底去哪儿了
I got to get to the office.
我得去办公室
Daddy's butt has been bleaching all outdoor playing surfaces.
她爸一直在打扫所有户外玩耍平台
You could prepare a chicken on that slide.
那个滑梯上都能做♥鸡♥肉吃了
Oh, great. Well, I got to go help one of my models.
太好了 我得去帮一个模特
Ooh, don't forget the cooler.
好 别忘了买♥♥冷藏箱
I won't forget the cooler.
我不会忘记的
Mommy is so good at her job,
妈妈的工作能力太强了
that she has to work on Saturdays.
所以周六也得去工作
And now Daddy is gonna do his job,
现在爸爸也要工作了
because these braids are straight-up dock ropes.
你妈这辫子编得跟麻绳似的
Daddy, do the special braids. II know.
爸爸 你编个特别点的 我知道
They're all... honey, they're all special.
每次给你编的都很特别
I need a break.
我得休息下
I cannot believe I let you talk me into this again.
你居然说服了我跟你做这个
But we got to finish,
但我们得赶紧弄完
'cause Schmidt is gonna wonder where I am.
因为施密特会好奇我去哪儿了
Winston!
温斯顿
You rotated the mattress without me?
你居然没叫我一起罩床垫吗
Again? That is my job.
又来一次 那是我的工作
Uh, baby? Listen, you really shouldn't be carrying that.
亲爱的 你不应该抬着那个
He's right. You should listen to your husband. I'll-- oh.
他说得对 你应该听你老公的话 我...
Don't eve-- just don't.
别动 你休想
I am seven months pregnant,
我怀孕七个月了
and I will rotate as many mattresses as I want.
我想罩多少床垫 就罩多少床垫
Aly would prefer that the world treat her
艾丽希望全世界所有人都能
like she isn't pregnant.
无视她怀孕的事实
Oh, which reminds me.
这倒提醒我了
BellyShots e-mailed me.
"准妈妈摄影"给我发邮件了
Our pregnancy glamour photos are ready,
我们的孕期写♥真♥已经出来了
and we got to pick one.
我们得选一张
So I'm mad at that.
我好生气啊
I mean, how'd they...
他们是怎么...
how'd they get my e-mail?
他们怎么会有我邮箱地址
Wait! Before hugs,
等等 拥抱之前
we have something we want you to see.
我们有东西想给你们看
It's a big deal.
是件大事
We got in a Vespa accident!
我们遭遇了摩托车事故
Look how much of my shin is missing!
快看我的胫骨残得多严重
It's disgusting.
特别恶心
Where'd your shin go, man?
你的胫骨都去哪儿了 兄弟
Feminist icons, very sophisticated theme.
女性伟人 这主题很特别啊
At my third birthday party, the theme was hamburgers.
我三岁的生日 主题是汉堡包
because this party has got to be perfect.
因为这个派对一定要完美
You remember her first birthday.
你记得她一岁生日的时候吧
Which led to a downtick in attendance
于是导致两岁生日时
at her second birthday.
几乎没有人参加
His greatest trick
他最伟大的魔术
was making us remember.
是让我们铭记终身
So this year, I invited every three-year-old
今年 我邀请了十英里内
in a ten-mile radius.
所有三岁小孩
And now you can relax and enjoy your daughter's birthday party?
这下你可以轻松享受女儿的生日趴了
Yeah. Uh, sure.
说得轻巧
"Relax and enjoy."
轻松享受
You keep me young, Cece.
你可真是天真可爱 希希
Thanks. Ten years in marketing, three years in fatherhood
我做了十年市场营销 当了三年爸爸
and six months of planning this party, I feel like
准备这个派对花了半年 我觉得
my entire life has been leading up to this very moment.
我整个人生都是为了这一刻
I'm gonna go set up the booze. Oh, no, no, no.
我去把酒摆上 别别别
Booze is a last resort.
酒是最后一招
It is shocking how much
你根本想不到
parents drink at these things.
那些家长在生日派对上能喝多少
Last week, I saw a drunk mommy take a...
上周 我看到一个喝醉的妈妈在...
take a boom boom in the bounce house.
在蹦床里面拉粑粑
It was horrifying.
太可怕了
If you'll excuse me, I see a little boy over there
失陪一下 我看到那边有个小孩
who doesn't understand the meaning of "Upscale casual."
不明白"轻松高档"是什么意思
Okay.
好
He made that Pocahummus from scratch?
这个模型完全是他自己做的吗
Oh, he's never going back to work.
他这个家庭煮夫是当定了
Can I tell you something?
我能跟你说件事吗
I really thought you were gonna come back
我真以为你们这次从欧洲回来
from Europe engaged. Yeah.
肯定会订婚 是啊
It would've been nice if he'd proposed,
他要是求婚了 应该也挺好的
but you know what happens
但你也知道
when we start talking about the future.
我们一聊将来会怎样
We start freaking out.
就会开始害怕
If the bird's stomach's full of bread,
要是鸟肚子里全是面包
don't give him cheese crackers.
就别喂它芝士饼干了
Can't not say it: love the nose ring.
不得不说 你的鼻环真好看
Yeah, it was a big mistake. But not as huge... Cute.
我挺后悔的 再后悔也... 挺可爱的
...as huge as the neck tattoo. The what now?
没我脖子上这纹身后悔 什么
Yeah, neck tattoo.
我在脖子上纹了个纹身
I've been telling people
我一直在跟大家解释
it stands for "Justice Shall Eventually..."
这个纹身的意思是"正义终将..."
Son of a bitch!
我去
Is that who I think it is?
那人是我认识的那个吗
You invited Russell?
你邀请了拉塞尔
My Russell? Mmhmm.
我的拉塞尔 是啊
My former Russell, my Fancyman?
我前男友拉塞尔 我的情人
Yeah, his son's in Ruth's tumbling class.
是啊 他儿子跟露丝是一个摔跤班上的
Russell has a three-year-old?
拉塞尔的儿子都三岁了
That polecat doesn't stop.
那只臭鼬真是停不下来
How many kids is that?
他生了多少孩子了
50. From a hundred different women.
五十个 一百个不同的女人给我生的
Figure that one out. Russell.
明白了吧 拉塞尔
Hey, Jess. You look great.
杰茜 你看起来气色不错
Babe, there is a helium tank.
宝贝 这儿有氦气罐
Why are you doing balloons by mouth?
你为什么要用嘴吹气球
Eh, I should've said that differently.
我应该换种说法的
Because I can.
因为我会用嘴巴吹啊
Listen, Snail Eyes, I love that I'm bringing a child
小蜗牛眼睛 我会跟你一起把孩子带来这个世界