杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S01E01
Part 1
Nov. 20, 2020, 12:17 p.m.
So, you know in horror movies when the girl's like,
你们知道恐怖片里 女生都这样
"Oh, my god. There's something in the basement.
天哪 地下室有东西
Let me just run down there in my underwear
让我就穿着内衣冲下去
and see what's going on, in the dark."
看看黑暗中会发生什么
And you're like, "What is your problem?! Call the police!"
你就会说 "你什么毛病啊 快报♥警♥"
And she's like, "Okay," But it's too late,
她会说好吧 但已经太迟了
Because she's already getting murdered.
因为她已经被谋杀了
Well, uh... my story's kind of like that.
我的故事差不多就是这样
It's a surprise for Spencer.
这是给斯潘塞的惊喜
I'm just gonna walk in, and I'm gonna drop my coat on the ground.
我进去后 会把衣服脱了丢地上
He says he has this fantasy
他曾经说过有过这种性幻想
that I'm a stripper with a heart of gold
我是脱衣舞娘 心地善良
and he's helping me put myself through college.
他资助我读完了大学
He didn't say the college part, did he?
大学这部分不是他说的吧
Um, no. I-I wanted to create a 3-dimensional sex character.
不是 我要创建一个立体的性角色
Really? What's your stripper name?
是嘛 你这舞娘艺名叫什么
Uh... Rebecca Johnson.
丽贝卡·约翰逊
Your stripper name's Rebecca Johnson?
叫丽贝卡·约翰逊的脱衣舞娘?
Boobies Johnson. T-two boobs Johnson.
咪♥咪♥约翰逊 双峰约翰逊
Look at you, in the back of a cab, totally naked.
瞧你 坐在计程车后排 全身赤♥裸♥
I am so proud of you.
真为你骄傲
Hello?
在家吗
I came home early.
我提前回来了
Jess! What --
杰茜 你怎么...
Who's Jess?
杰茜是谁
You're talking to...
你面前的是
Tiger Boobs.
波霸妹
I'm doing sexy things
瞧我多性感
With a pillow
怀抱枕头
This --
这个...
She's doin' sexy stuff
她正在卖♥♥弄性感
To the plant right --
手握树叶
Okay.
好了
I'll pick that up later
我会等下再扶起来
Who's that girl? ?
这女孩是谁
Who's that g-I-I-I-irl?
这女孩 是谁
It's Jess!
杰茜驾到
So, that happened.
就是这样
That's why I need a new apartment.
所以我要另找住处
I'm sorry. What was the question, again?
不好意思 你问什么来着
Do you have any pets?
你有养宠物吗
You know, it's funny.
说来挺好笑
When I saw your ad on craigslist,
我在网上看到你们的招租广♥告♥时
I thought you were women.
以为你们是女人
Why would you think that? That's crazy.
你为什么会这样想 太疯狂了
I mean, well, I made the --
我可是写得...
Schmidt wrote the ad.
广♥告♥是施密特写的
Oh, I guess it was something about the words you used.
我想可能是措词方面的问题吧
It was like, uh, like...
有点 有点
"Sun-soaked and beige-y."
沐浴在阳光中 色调米黄
What are you doing?
你在干什么
What about these? These look beige-y to you?
这样呢 看起来是米黄色吗
Sorry.
抱歉
I'm his trainer, so, uh...
我是他的健身教练 所以
It's kind of the house that Coach built right here.
这可是我这位教练的功劳
What are we looking at here? That's baby-smooth.
我们这是在看什么 细皮嫩肉吗
This is L.L.S. -- "Ladies love Schmidt."
这是"LLS" 女人都爱施密特
What?! What did you just say?
什么 你说什么
Go put a dollar in the jar right now.
放一块钱到罐子里
Are you serious? Yeah! Now!
你说真的吗 是的 马上放钱
Damn it.
见鬼
"L.L.S."? What is wrong with you?
LLS 你什么毛病
This place is beautiful. It gets so much light.
这公♥寓♥好漂亮 光线充足
Spencer hated light.
斯潘塞讨厌阳光
It's hard to say his name.
提到这名字就难受
It's okay. Nick knows. He got dumped.
没事 尼克了解你 他被甩了
"Dumped"? Yeah, I got dumped.
被甩 是啊 我被甩了
I can't hear you! That means we're not breaking up!
我听不到你说什么 这代表我们不是在分手
Yes, we're breaking up. We can't break up if I can't hear you!
是的 我们在分手 我听不到就不能分手
I'm breaking up with you.
我要跟你分手
I need some time away...
我需要冷静一段时间
Yeah, I got dumped.
没错 我被甩了
She dumped me.
她把我甩了
And I'm over it.
我早想通了
Okay? It was six months ago, guys.
这是半年前的事了 哥们儿
Get past it!
别再提了
I don't even know why we're still talking about it!
真不知道还提这个干什么
Why is everybody looking at me?!
为什么大家都看着我
You know what? I want to live here.
知道吗 我想住这里
Actually, I-I still have some questions.
其实 我还有些问题
I mean, like, no offense, but we barely know you.
无意冒犯 可我们根本不认识你
Yeah, okay. Yeah.
没错 好的
So, um... full disclosure.
我来个大坦白
I'm kind of emotional right now 'cause of the breakup,
因为分手的关系 我现在可能很情绪化
So I'll probably be watching "Dirty Dancing"
所以我可能会看《辣身舞》
at least six or seven times a day.
一天看个六七遍
Um, I'm a teacher,
我是老师
so I-I bring home a lot of popsicle sticks,
我会带回家很多冰棒棍子
stuff like that.
乱七八糟的东西
Also, I like to sing to myself a lot.
还有 我经常以唱代说
A lot
经常
I'm tired of living with my friend.
我不想和我的朋友住了
She's a model. All her friends are models.
她是模特 她所有的朋友都是模特
Uh, how soon can you move in?
你什么时候能搬进来
Actually, Schmidt, slow up. Not happening.
施密特 悠着点 不可能
Okay, uh, can you give us a second?
等我们一下
I just got to -- got to talk to my boys.
我要去 去和小弟们聊聊
"My boys" is not a thing around here.
小弟们 这什么话
My bros, okay? Okay, douchebag jar.
弟兄们 行了吧 放钱吧你
For what? For "My bros"?
这也罚钱 "弟兄们"而已
I'm gonna say yes. Her friends are models.
我同意她搬进来 她的朋友是模特
Okay, you guys? Models.
明白吗 模特
I say no.
我不同意
I need to be able to come home from work, sit on my couch,
我只想下班回家 可以坐在沙发上
and let my beans out, let them breathe!
随心所欲 自♥由♥自在
Nick, it's all you, buddy.
尼克 你的是关键票
Well, first, let me say
首先 我要说
I think you guys make some really interesting points,
我觉得两位的观点都不错
Points that I respect, but I will say this.
我很尊重你们的意见 但我要说
I have lived with a woman -- Caroline, as you guys know --
我曾经和女人住过 卡洛琳 你们知道的
And so I know that there are pros
所以我知道 与女人同住有好处
and I know that there are real cons, guys.
也有不可忽视的坏处
Nick, you're weak!
尼克 你真没用
Okay, pro -- they smell nice.
好处 她们很香
Cons --
坏处
Every once in a while, the mood changes,
每隔一段时间 就会喜怒无常
and you're not sure why.
你也弄不懂为什么
They'll ruin your life if you let them.
由着她们 你的人生就完了
They'll break down your will to live.
说不定想死的心都有
Pros -- they're really good at folding.
好处 她们很会叠衣服
Make a decision! I'm sorry. You know what?
快决定 抱歉 知道吗
But, like, another pro -- like, when you, like --
可是好像还有好处 比如说...
Oh, don't do it. Don't do it. Put it down.
别这样 别这样 放下帽子
Don't -- don't hood me.
别以为罩起来就完事
You guys don't know what you're talking about.
你们不知道自己在说什么
Don't hood me. Please don't hood me.
别罩起来 拜托别罩起来
Okay. I know what I'm talking about.
我知道自己在说什么
Okay. Pushed him too hard.
逼得他太紧了
We did pushed him too hard. Damn it.
的确是逼太紧了 见鬼
Executive decision -- she's in.
行政决策 同意她住进来
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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