杰茜驾到（2011）

New Girl S03E12

Part 1 Nov. 20, 2020, 3:05 p.m.

Oh, snap snap, oh, snap snap.
哦锵锵哦锵锵
Woo, that sounds pretty good. Thank you.
唱得不错啊谢谢
Listen, Schmidt,
听着施密特
I've been kind of stuck on this whole career search thing.
我找工作遇到了瓶颈
You think I'd begin the advertising?
你觉得我是否应该进军广♥告♥业
I mean that's what you do right?
你不就是做这行的么
Advertising is a dog drinking beer,
广♥告♥就是狗喝啤酒
a fat moron falling down the stairs.
肥二货滚下楼梯这类东西
A snot-nosed brat
一个拖着鼻涕的小屁孩
kicking his rapping grandpa in the testicles.
踢着他说唱爷爷的睾丸
Rapping grandpa,
说唱老爷爷
it kills me though.
笑死我了
I'm in marketing, Winston,
我是做营销的温斯顿
the back bone of capitalism
资本主义的脊梁
without you be dead in two days.
没有我们的话你很快就死翘翘了
I could be good at that.
也许我很擅长这个呢
Probably not,
一般不会
but you can shadow me at work today to find out.
但你可以跟我上班来寻找答案
Yeah! Team drug store back from Mission drug store, right, Coach?
买♥♥药小分队完成药房♥任务是吧教练
Yeah. Uh, can I have my bag?
是的能把袋子还给我吗
Yeah. Good stuff. Good stuff.
好的辛苦了
Thanks.
谢谢
So, same time next week, right? Team drug store?
那下周同一时间好吗买♥♥药小分队
We'll go again to the drug store?
再去药房♥买♥♥药
Team drug store?
买♥♥药小分队
Ugh! God! What a walnut!
天啊真难搞
It's been two months we've been living with him,
我们已经跟他合住了两个月
and I have yet to crack him.
而我还没有在他身上取得突破
It's like we just spent an hour together.
感觉好像我们待在一起一小时
It was, like, nothing, no connection.
什么都没有零交流
And don't tell me it's in my mind, because it's not.
别告诉我这是我想太多了因为根本不是
We ran into one of his friends,
我们碰到他的朋友了
and Coach said the meanest thing about me.
教练却用了句刻薄到死的话来评论我
Check these out.
快看
Can you believe these are for glaucoma?
你能想象这是给青光眼戴的吗
She's my buddy's girlfriend.
他是我哥们的女朋友
You are my girlfriend. What's the big deal?
你确实是我女朋友啊有什么大不了的
I want him to think of me as his friend.
我希望他拿我当朋友看
Oh, I hear that. Well, it'll happen if it's meant to.
我知道该发生的早晚会发生的
I need to find a way in.
我得找个突破口
I found a way to force myself into all of your lives.
我找到了强行进入你们生活的突破口
You just didn't know it.
你们没察觉而已
Food, clothes, onesie pajamas.
食物着装小肚兜睡衣
I like the butt flap.
我喜欢屁帘儿
You really think mine was food?
你真觉得我的死穴是食物吗
I can think of five other reasons I wanted to be your friend.
我可以给出另外五个想和你做朋友的理由
Boob, boob, vagina, butt cheek, butt cheek.
咪♥咪♥ 咪♥咪♥ 小妹妹屁♥股♥ 屁♥股♥
In that order?
按顺序吗
Well, I'm not gonna say,
我肯定不会说
"Vagina, butt cheek, boob, butt cheek, boob."
小妹妹屁♥股♥ 咪♥咪♥ 屁♥股♥ 咪♥咪♥
Yeah, but that's the correct... That's the order, yeah.
这是排序过的这是先后顺序对
Look, Nick, I need help.
听着尼克我需要帮助
Like, tell me about Coach. Like, what's up with him?
告诉我些教练的事情他什么情况
What does he like? What does he dislike?
他喜欢什么不喜欢什么
Well, Coach 101 is, he's watching basketball.
好了解他的基础是教练爱看篮球
And that's all he's gonna do from October till June.
他从今年十月到明年六月只干这个
His team's the Pistons.
他支持活塞队
I mean, they were great in the '80s,
八十年代那队伍很棒
but then we got Jordan.
然后乔丹来了
Then they started getting good.
然后公牛队开始崛起了
Then we got Thibodeau.
再后来锡伯杜是教练了
What you gonna do now? And he knows that.
你还能说什么他都知道
That's genius. Basketball. That's my way in.
好主意篮球这就是突破点
Basketball's not your in. You don't know anything about basketball.
篮球不是突破点你对篮球一无所知
Come on. You refer to it as "Basketsball."
得了连名字都被你说成复数形式了
Well, that's the technically-correct term, Nick.
但语法上说这才是正确的尼克
There are two baskets.
他们有两个篮框啊
I'm an English teacher.
我可是英语老师
Basketball's just the first step.
篮球只是第一步
We sit down, we watch a game.
我们坐下来看比赛
We have a few laughs.
大笑几声
Before you know it,
不知不觉的
we'll be digging into each other's pasts.
我们会挖掘一下彼此的过去
That's not how it works, though.
才不是那样的
Childhoods, Nick.
童年尼克
That's the friendship money shot.
这是友谊的突破口
Men watch sports so we don't have to talk about childhood stuff.
男人就是为了不谈到童年才会看体育的
No. It's a real thing.
不是吧这是事实
And the game doesn't even have deeper meaning.
比赛就是比赛而已
Come on. And there's no layers to it.
得了比赛也不分什么层次
If I'm talking about a player overcoming the defense to win,
如果我说有个队员突破防线进球了
that's not like I'm overcoming it. No. Come on.
不是在说我的心理活动不可能
Not only that. He's a Pistons fan, and I'm a Bulls fan.
而且他是活塞队球迷我是公牛队的
Right. I don't understand, no.
好吧我完全不懂
It's rivalries. Sharks and cats.
他们是对手就像鲨鱼和猫
Yankees, Red Sox.
洋基队和红袜队[同为美国棒球队]
Whales and dolphins.
鲸鱼和海豚
Pistons fan, Bulls fan. End of discussion.
活塞队公牛队就这样
I get it. Jean Valjean and Javert.
我懂了冉阿让和贾维
Yeah, definitely.
对的就是啊
This is like a Jean Vanjer and Vajer situation.
就是阿冉让和威贾的情况
So, where do you do the marketing?
你在哪儿做营销啊
Oh, Winston, so sweet, so naive.
温斯顿你真傻真天真
Where do we do the marketing?
我们去哪儿做营销
We do the marketing everywhere.
我们随时随地在做营销
Now, you're gonna want to take notes on everything I do,
我做什么你最好都写下来
'cause you're about to see life happen at the speed of business.
因为你即将见证我们商战之速
Schmidt. I have a task for you. Hi, Kim.
施密特我有事要交给你金姆
We got a new guy, and I want you to show him around.
来了个新人我要你带他四处转转
Wait. Who's this? Oh, I'm just shadowing Schmidt.
这是谁我只是施密特的小跟班
Called my bluff. Don't care.
别当真我不在乎
Ed?
埃德
Come meet Schmidt.
见一下施密特
Okey-dokey.
好的呀
That's the new guy?
这是新人
New compared to what, the moon?
他跟月球比起来才是新人吧
Here's what happened.
是这样的
Gwen turned 45, so we had to fire her.
格温四十五岁了我们不得不开除她
Obviously. So, wait.
不用说等等
Gwen's job is available?
格温的职位空出来了
Yeah, but then Grandma turned around
然后那位大姐一转身
and filed an ageism lawsuit,
就控告我们年龄歧视
so we hired Bran Flakes here to cover our ass.
只能请布朗·弗莱克斯给我们擦屁♥股♥
Just do it. All right, I'll do it.
快去好吧我会的
Well, here I am. Okay.
我来了好
I'm Schmidt. I guess they wanted you to learn from the best.
我是施密特他们希望名♥师♥出高徒
Well, actually, they said your office was closest to the can.
其实他们说你办公室离厕所最近
I got a prostate the size of an avacado.
我的前列腺有牛油果那么大
"Closest to the can."
"离厕所最近"
Do not write that down, Winston!
温斯顿别写下来
Is it not closest to the can?
离厕所不近吗
Yes!
漂亮
I stay sealed off during basketball season.
在篮球赛季期间我会闭关
Plus, I, uh, dropped some olives under the bed, can't reach 'em.
我掉了几颗橄榄在床底下够不着
Oh. I got little pinchers.
我正好有小爪子
Hey, so...
对了
I was gonna watch the, uh, Pistons of Detroit game.
我正要看底特律活塞队的比赛
Don't really have the reach for that.
确实不太够得着
Good thing I got legs.
还好我有腿
Wait. You like the Pistons? Oh, yeah. Just like you.
你喜欢活塞队对啊跟你一样