极品老妈

Mom S08E10

Part 3 April 11, 2021, 8:20 p.m.

when I thought I would still have a boyfriend,
但至少我可以穿着运动服吃东西这挺好的
but at least I get to eat in my sweats, so that's a win.
享受你们的情人节吧
Well, enjoy your Valentine's.
-吉尔 -怎么了
- Jill? - Yeah.
你想加入吗
Would you like to join us?
-不了这里仅限情侣 -来吧坐下
- Oh, no. This is a couples-only zone. - No, come on, sit down.
-真的吗 -当然了
- Really? - Absolutely.
好我去要把椅子
Okay. I'll go ask for a chair.
你太棒了
You are so wonderful.
等下我要对你做的事
Later, I'm gonna do something to you
只在泰国合法
that's only legal in Thailand.
我知道这不是你计划好的一晚
Okay, I know this isn't the night you had planned,
但这辣味鸡肉卷是我很用心做的
but I worked really hard on these fajitas,
我觉得你会喜欢的
and I think you're gonna like 'em.
我不饿
I'm not hungry.
-如果你想吃它就在那 -我不想吃
- Well, they're there if you want 'em. - I won't.
那它就只是在那
Then they're just there.
我计划要看《BJ单身日记》
I was gonna watch Bridget Jones's Diary.
你觉得可以吗
Is that okay with you?
电影讲的是一个女人无法留住她男人为什么不看呢
A story about a woman who can't keep her man? Why not?
我还有《机械战警》
Oh, I also have RoboCop.
这下你没法感同身受了吧
Impossible to see your current situation in that,
除非有些关于加里的事你没告诉我们
unless there's something about Gary you haven't told us.
我不在乎
I don't care.
我知道这对你来说很难
I know this is hard for you,
但你还有很多值得感激的事
but you still have so much to be grateful for.
比如什么我年纪大了孤身一人
Like what? I'm old, I'm alone,
我的骨头像枯枝一样容易折断
my bones snap like dry twigs,
接下来的两周里
and I get to spend the next two weeks
我都要在手臂上绑着塑料袋洗澡
taking a shower with a plastic bag on my arm.
我能做什么让你感觉好些吗
Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
穿越回去告诉我不要为了加里甩了韦恩
Go back in time and tell me not to dump Wayne for Gary.
如果可以我会的
I would if I could.
然后我会穿越到更远的过去发明拉链
Then I'd go further back in time and invent the zipper.
虽然我不知道那是什么时候发明的
Though I don't know when that was invented.
如果我穿越回去说
It'd be pretty embarrassing if I show up and say,
瞧瞧我发明了什么
"Hey, look what I invented!"
然后真正发明拉链的人说
Then the real zipper guy is like,
干得好废柴那就尴尬了
"Nice job, loser."
你能去你的卧室吃辣味鸡肉卷吗
Can you eat your fajitas in your bedroom?
可以
Yes, I can.
-温蒂啊 -就是啊已婚男人
- Wendy, right? - I know. A married man?
我一直在想这件事
I can't stop thinking about it.
我好不容易才让她别想这件事
I finally got her to stop thinking about it,
我们能换个话题吗
so can we change the subject?
我甚至愿意继续聊卫生巾
I'm even willing to go back to panty liners.
这本来是我人生中最糟糕的情人节
This was set to be my worst Valentine's Day ever,
结果我却过得很开心
and I'm having fun.
我最糟糕的情人节是在哥伦比亚的监狱里醒来
Oh, I'd say my worst was waking up in a Colombian jail.
我不知道我怎么进了监狱
Not sure how I got there.
好像跟卖♥♥非法鳗鱼有关
Something to do with selling illegal eels.
我本来想说我在弗雷斯♥诺♥
I was gonna tell a harrowing story
爆胎的悲惨故事
about a flat tire in Fresno,
但我忘记在跟谁吃晚饭了
but I forgot who I was having dinner with.
本冠军是很难打败的
It's hard to unseat the champ.
事实是
Well, the truth is,
在我遇见你之前我所有的情人节都糟透了
all my Valentine's Days were the worst before I met you.
我爱你我能拆礼物了吗
I love you. Can I open my present now?
还有礼物吗快拆
There's a present? Go, go, go!
等等等我接完电♥话♥再拆
Oh, wait. No, no. Don't open it till I'm off.
塔米
Hey, Tammy.
玛乔丽情况很糟糕
Marjorie's gone down a rabbit hole,
我不知道如何是好
and I don't know what to do.
她坐在黑暗中
She's sitting in the dark
嘟囔着要把她的猫送给年轻人
muttering about giving her cats away to younger people.
-不 -怎么了
- Oh, no. - What's going on?
玛乔丽情况很糟糕塔米不知道如何是好
Marjorie's gone to a bad place, and Tammy don't know what to do.
你在和谁说话
Who are you talking to?
邦妮我跟她还有亚当在一起
Oh, Bonnie. I'm out with her and Adam.
为什么算了把电♥话♥给她
Why are you... ? Never mind. Let me talk to her.
塔米
Hey, Tam.
-晚餐加两人吗 -是的
- Two more for dinner? - Uh-huh.
我听说了加里发短♥信♥的事
I heard about the whole Gary text thing.
那真糟糕我很遗憾
That's just messed up. I'm sorry.
谢谢
Thank you.
他也不喜欢加里
He didn't like him, either.
大家都恨加里吗
Did everyone hate Gary?
恨这个词很强烈但是非常正确
Hate's a strong word, but it's the right word.
为什么没人告诉我
Why didn't anybody tell me?
你似乎很幸福
Well, you seemed so happy.
我们不想破坏你的性生活
And we didn't want to rain on your sex parade.
他的确床技很好
Oh, well, he was the grand marshal of the sex parade.
但要我说实话
But if I'm completely honest,
有时候和他相处很难
I sometimes found him challenging.
-他有点固执己见 -有点专横
- He could be a bit opinionated. - And a little overbearing.
-算是个万事通 -他是个混♥蛋♥
- Kind of a know-it-all. - He was a dick.
别在高档餐厅里说混♥蛋♥
Don't say "Dick" In a swanky restaurant.
我不了解女人但男人有条规定
I don't know about women... but guys have a rule
别说前任的坏话
that you don't bash the ex until you're sure
除非你确定他们不会复合
that they're not getting back together.
对方已经死了最好是火化了
Like the other person's dead, preferably cremated
你已经看过骨灰盒里面了
and you've looked inside the urn.
他是发短♥信♥告诉我分手的所以用霉霉的话
He broke up with me by text, so, in the words of Taylor Swift,
"我们永永远远也不会复合了"
"We are never, ever, ever getting back together."
无论如何我觉得你能找到更好的男人
Well, for what it's worth, I think you can do a lot better.
谢谢你
Well, thank you.
我开始感觉好受些了
And I'm starting to feel a little better, too.
也许我只需要跟闺蜜们出来玩一晚上
Maybe all I needed was a night out with my gals.
你听见了吗你也是闺蜜之一
Aw, you hear that? You're one of the gals.
我很荣幸但我觉得这家餐厅的人以为
I'm honored. Though, I think the people in this restaurant think
我是邪教领袖
I'm some sort of cult leader.
你们知道还缺什么吗
You know the one thing that's missing?
番茄酱吗我觉得他们是假装没有
Ketchup? I think they're pretending they don't have any.
是温蒂如果我要跟所有闺蜜共进
Wendy. If I'm gonna have a romantic Valentine's dinner
浪漫的情人节晚餐她也该在
with all my girlfriends, she should be here.
打扰了我们还需要一把椅子
Excuse me. We're gonna need another chair.
我知道你们没有番茄酱
And I get that you "Don't have ketchup,"
但你们有牧场沙拉酱烤肉酱或者芥末吗
but do you have ranch or barbecue sauce or mustard?
我想来点蘸酱先生
Just looking for a little dip here, sir.
很高兴你打了电♥话♥
I'm glad you called.
我男友在情人节陪老婆这挺难的
Having a boyfriend who's with his wife on Valentine's Day is rough.
尽管我非常不同意你的选择
Even though I violently disagree with your choices,
但我非常高兴你来了
I'm violently happy you're here.
给你一支玫瑰
One for you.
给你一支玫瑰
One for you.
给你一支玫瑰
One for you.
给你一支玫瑰
One for you.
给你两支
And two for you.
我不是笨蛋
I'm no dummy.
你在餐厅看到别人送玫瑰时
You know, you see this happen in restaurants,
还觉得那是最做作的事
and it's the hokiest thing ever,
接着有人送了你玫瑰你就觉得太好了
and then it happens to you, and it's so nice.
你真是个有品位的王八蛋
You're a classy son of a bitch.
高档我忘了
Swanky. I forgot.
-你要再试一次吗 -小盒子警告
- Should we give this another shot? - Ooh, tiny box alert.
亚当
Oh, Adam.
-真漂亮 -让我看看
- It's beautiful. - Oh, let me see!
好重啊
Oh, that's a nice weight.
亚当真精美
Oh, Adam, so elegant.
-好美 -里面刻了字
- Really pretty. - There's an inscription.
是啊上面写着