极品老妈

Mom S08E10

Part 2 April 11, 2021, 8:20 p.m.

that Wendy's boyfriend is a cardiologist.
所以我给朋友珍娜打了电♥话♥
So I called my girlfriend Jenna,
她的老公也是心脏病医生
whose husband is also a cardiologist,
打听她是否有他的独家八卦
to see if she had the scoop on him.
好样的我敢打赌他喜欢模型火车
Ooh, good work. I bet he's a model train guy
或者养着一只雪貂
or has a ferret.
谢谢但别着急
Thank you, but hold your ticket.
-他结婚了 -什么
- He's married. - What?!
我知道我也不敢相信
I know. I couldn't believe it, either.
你觉得她知道吗
Do you think she knows?
温蒂永远不会和已婚男约会
Wendy would never date a married man.
-我们必须告诉她 -有必要吗
- We have to tell her. - Do we?
上周她因为咖啡馆没汤都哭了
Last week, she cried when the bistro ran out of soup.
当然有必要了她是我们的朋友我们在乎她
Of course we do. She's our friend, and we care about her.
但这会让她心碎的
But it's gonna break her heart.
如果我们不告诉她六个月后
If we don't tell her, six months from now,
她会和他去棕榈泉
she's gonna be in Palm Springs with him,
他的妻子会发现然后放火烧了她的车
and his wife's gonna find out and set her car on fire.
谁会那样做啊
Who would do that?
我总是忘记聊这些事时你不在
I always forget you weren't around for those stories.
我没有真的放火烧了谁的车
I never actually set anybody's car on fire.
比你想象中难烧多了
It's harder than you think.
好吧那谁来告诉她
All right, well, so who's gonna tell her?
不是我我让她哭的够多了
Not me. I've made her cry enough.
我挖到了八卦我已经尽了义务
I got the scoop. I've done my part.
我不想说
Well, I don't want to do it.
我刚让她不再怕我了
I just got her over being scared of me.
所以我们达成了一致如果玛乔丽没有因为
So we're in agreement. If Marjorie doesn't die
手腕并发症暴毙我们就强迫她告诉温蒂
from wrist-related complications, we'll make her tell Wendy.
好计划
Good plan.
她来了嘘
Here she comes. Shh.
我的表情看起来像知道太多吗
Oh, does my face look like it knows too much?
永远不像
No, never.
-你们好 -你好
- Hey, guys. - Hey.
-你好 -她来啦
- Hey. - There she is.
玛乔丽没事的只是轻微骨折
Marjorie's gonna be fine. It's just a slight fracture.
她要打个石膏然后我们送她回家
She's getting a cast, and then we can take her home.
-很好 -太好了
- Great. - Super.
所以她不会死
So she's not gonna die.
你们不用全跟我一起回家
You know, you all didn't have to come home with me.
我住在这里所以反正我都得来
Well, I live here so I was coming anyway.
我们只是想确保你没事
We just want to make sure you're okay.
我没事的
I'm fine.
医生说我的手腕会痊愈
Doctor said my wrist will heal.
是的但你也刚在
Yeah, but you also just got dumped
情人节前被短♥信♥分手
in a text right before Valentine's Day.
感谢你让我想起这事
Thank you for reminding me.
我们来这里是因为爱你我们只想帮忙
We're all here because we love you, and we just want to help.
-需要枕头吗 -如果我需要枕头我会拿的
- Can I get you a pillow? - If I need a pillow, I'll get one.
看看周围就像家具店在这里爆♥炸♥了
Look around. It's like a Pier 1 exploded in here.
好吧不要枕头
All right, no pillow.
你想聊聊加里的事吗
Do you want to talk about what happened with Gary?
不想
No.
-你会给他打电♥话♥吗 -不会
- Are you gonna call him? - No.
我觉得分得好反正我们也不喜欢他
Well, I say good riddance. We never liked him anyway.
-吉尔 -怎么了
- Jill! - What?
谁不喜欢他
Who didn't like him?
-我们所有人 -吉尔
- All of us. - Jill!
怎么了我只是在跟她说实话
What? I'm just telling her the truth.
作为一个最近被甩了的人
And as someone who's recently been dumped herself,
我知道你的感受
I know what you're going through,
我只想说男人很烂
and I just want to say, men suck.
但加里尤其烂
But Gary especially.
不是所有人男人都烂
Not all men suck.
亚当很好 80%到85%的时候
Adam's great, 80%, 85% of the time.
我也有个好男人
And I've got a great guy, too.
-怎么了 -如果我们有空跟玛乔丽
- What? - Well, if we'd gotten some alone time
独处一会儿她就会告诉你
with Marjorie, she'd tell you.
告诉她什么
Tell her what?
好吧我来挡子弹
Okay, I'll jump in front of the bullet.
阿曼德结婚了
Armand's married.
对不起你一定很心痛
I'm sorry. This must be devastating.
我知道他结婚了
Oh, I know he's married.
-你知道吗 -嗯
- You do? - Yeah.
-真的吗 -这并不理想但我能接受
- Really? - It's not ideal, but I'm okay with it.
但你从不打破规矩
But you never break the rules.
你都不会偷带爆米花进影院
You won't even smuggle popcorn into a movie,
我知道的因为我要求你带过
and I know 'cause I've asked you to.
我的包里塞满了芝士汉堡
My purse was filled with cheeseburgers.
等等你的男友结婚了吗
Wait a minute. Your boyfriend is married?
我知道你又老又有伤但拜托跟上
I know you're old and injured, but try to keep up.
你怎么能接受啊
How are you okay with this?
你不明白我们一拍即合
You don't understand. We had an instant connection.
我从没和这么喜欢我的人在一起过
I've never been with someone who's this into me.
嗯我敢打赌他也曾很喜欢他老婆
Yeah, well, I bet he was into his wife at one point, too.
亲爱的他会说他要离开她但他永远不会离开
Honey, he'll say he'll leave her, but he's never going to.
没关系我能接受这个现状
It's okay. I'm fine with things the way they are.
好既然你不用说出这件事
All right, since you didn't have to break the news,
你可以直接开始说教告诉她这是大错特错
you can jump right into your lecture about how wrong this is.
你想要一杯水或者茶还是直接开始
Do you want a glass of water, cup of tea, or can you just go?
-我不说教 -很好直接吼她
- No lecture. - Great. Straight to yelling.
戒瘾后我们可以做任何想做的事
Mm, we can do anything we want in sobriety
只要我们愿意承担后果
as long as we're willing to accept the consequences.
显然玛乔丽疯了
Obviously, Marjorie is delirious.
我来吧去给我泡杯茶
I'm jumping in. Somebody make me some tea.
我跟很多已婚男约会过
I have dated my share of married men...
那时候我还在酗酒我并不骄傲
Back when I was drinking, not proud...
没错秘密的确很刺♥激♥
And yes, the secrecy was exciting,
那男人从我这里得到他老婆无法提供的东西
and the thrill of that guy getting something from me
这种刺♥激♥感让我觉得自己很特别
that he couldn't get from his wife made me feel special.
但这一点我当时不明白
But here's what I didn't understand,
因为我没结婚
because I wasn't married:
他的老婆是有感情的真人
That guy's wife is a real person with feelings,
她也许有所怀疑
and she probably suspects something.
别以为自己没伤害人你伤害了他老婆
So don't think you're not hurting someone, because you are.
你知道我怎么想吗
You know what I think?
我很幸福你受不了了
I'm happy and you can't stand it.
你还要茶吗
Do you still want the tea?
-真漂亮 -是啊
- This is beautiful. - Yeah.
这也算六道菜之一吗
Does it count as one of those six courses?
我可能要调整速度
'Cause I may want to pace myself.
这叫餐前点心
That is called an amuse-bouche.
我也不知道
I did not know that.
你去卫生间时服务员告诉我的
I was told while you were in the bathroom,
就在我说了"我希望盛放下一道菜的
after I said, "I hope the next course
碟子更大"以后
comes on a bigger plate."
看起来很美味我该拍照吗
Well, it looks delicious. Should I take a picture?
算了我可不想当那种人
No. I don't want to be one of those people.
我想的
Yes, I do.
你真是美丽动人
You look gorgeous.
我是这里最幸运的男人
I'm the luckiest man in the room.
去卫生间的路上我看了看用餐的人
I got a look at the crowd on the way to the bathroom,
你的确是
and yes, you are.
我给你买♥♥了一份情人节的小礼物
I bought you a little Valentine's Day gift.
天啊你今晚想做多少次爱
God, how much sex do you want tonight?
我们可能得推迟到明早
W-We may have to push till tomorrow morning,
毕竟吃了六道菜和餐前点心
after six courses and this bouche situation.
你俩好啊
Hey, you two.
吉尔你怎么来了
Jill, what are you doing here?
我来打包几个月前我就预定了晚餐
Oh, just picking up. I paid for this months ago
我以为到了情人节时我还有男友