极品老妈

Mom S08E06

Part 1 March 1, 2021, 11 a.m.

《极品老妈》前情提要
Previously on Mom...
所以我回家径直走进浴室
So I came home, marched right into the bathroom,
告诉安迪我想加深感情
told Andy I wanted to deepen our relationship,
你猜他说了什么
and you know what he said?
"我能先洗完澡吗"
"Can I finish my shower first?"
我回家后就想洗个澡放松一下
When I get home I just want to take a shower and relax.
我不想聊我的感受
I don't want to talk about my feelings.
特别是我没穿裤子的时候
Especially when I'm not wearing pants.
是吉尔安全第一
It's Jill. Safety first.
安迪想和她分开
Andy wants a break from her.
-塔米酒瘾者 -塔米
- Tammy, alcoholic. - Hi, Tammy.
最近我在找方法提高精神修养
Lately I've been looking for ways to deepen my spiritual connection,
所以我决定来一次宁静的自然远足
so, um, I decided to take a peaceful nature hike.
没有手♥机♥ 耳机甚至没有口香糖
No phones, no earbuds, not even gum.
然后我意识到了
And that's when I realized
远足的他人即地狱
hell is other people while also walking uphill.
我身后的那对伴侣... 我觉得我有必要
This couple behind me-- and I feel compelled
指出那个男人穿着紧身裤
to point out that the guy was wearing leggings--
总之他们一直在讲蜱虫
anyway, they were going on and on in great gory detail
在他的泳裤区域翻江倒海的
about this tick that had set up shop in his...
恶心细节
well, let's just say his swimsuit area.
她是在吃早饭时给我讲的这事
She told me this one over breakfast.
听着他们喋喋不休地说热敷法
I mean, how am I supposed to achieve inner peace
镊子还有他昏倒在厨房♥的桌子上
when I'm listening to them yakking about hot compresses
我还怎么实现内心的宁静呀
and tweezer angles and him passed out on the kitchen table?
我想着
I thought, "You know,
我走快点这样就不用听了
I'll just speed up so I don't have to hear it."
但然后我意识到
But then I realized
那样我就永远不会知道结局了
I'd never know how it turned out,
所以我假装补水听了结局
so I pretended to drink water to catch the end.
他没事
He's fine.
他只是需要穿上紧身裤才敢再次进森林
He just needs the leggings to trust the woods again.
总之我没和上帝神交
Anyway, I never connected with God,
但我知道了我的敏感区域
but I do know what to do in case a tick
有了蜱虫该怎么办
ever sets up shop in my hoo-ha.
还有谁拜托了
Someone else, please.
吉尔酒瘾者
Jill, alcoholic.
吉尔
Hi, Jill.
安迪和我依然在停顿期
Well, Andy and I are still on pause.
我猜我们对"停顿"的定义不同
I guess we have a different definition of what "Pause" Means.
看吧这才叫停顿
See, now, that was a pause.
她在演啊我都不知道发生了什么
Oh, she was acting. I didn't know what was happening.
各位已经是第16天了我心烦意乱
People, we're at day 16, and I'm coming unglued.
我也很后悔我让安迪决定
I'm also regretting the fact that I let Andy be the one
停顿何时结束
who gets to say, "Pause over."
我只是希望我知道他在想什么
I just wish I knew what was going on in his head.
他说过我有时候有点难搞
I mean, he has told me that sometimes I can be a bit too much,
但如果爱得荡气回肠活得轰轰烈烈也叫难搞
but if loving hard and living large means I'm too much,
那我就有罪吧
then guilty as charged.
我感觉很无助我们都知道
I just feel so helpless, and as we all know,
这种感觉对酒瘾者来说很危险
that is a dangerous feeling for an alcoholic.
但我不会为此喝酒或嗑药
But I mean, I-I'm not gonna drink or use over it.
我倒是可能疯狂购物了
I may have gone on a bit of a shopping spree.
美国运通都打电♥话♥来确认我没事了
American Express called to make sure I was okay.
他们真暖心
They're so sweet.
总之谢了
Anyway, thanks.
邦妮酒瘾者
Bonnie, alcoholic.
邦妮
Hi, Bonnie.
别担心吉尔
Don't worry, Jill.
亚当和安迪今晚一起看橄榄球
Adam and Andy are watching football tonight,
我会查清楚他在想什么
so I'll find out what's going on in his head.
抱歉我知道这算插嘴
I'm sorry, I know that was cross talk,
但她通常坐在我身边在玛乔丽唠唠叨叨时
but she usually sits next to me and I just whisper to her
我都是小声跟她说的
while Marjorie drones on.
玛乔丽开整吧完美收官
Marge, bring us home. Big finish.
极品老妈第八季第六集
你怎么这么晚还没睡
What are you doing up so late?
我在看这部电影
Uh, I'm just, uh, watching this movie.
这是强力胶水购物节目
It's an infomercial for Flex Seal.
很吸引人
Well, it's riveting.
他们在用破布造船
They're making a boat out of rags.
我当年逃离菲律宾时
Could've used that when I was trying
有这东西就好了
to get out of the Philippines.
晚安
Well, good night.
等等
Wait.
你和安迪今晚玩得怎样
How was your night with Andy?
很好
Great.
等等
Wait, wait.
他16天没和吉尔说过话了
He hasn't talked to Jill for 16 days.
他讲理由了吗
Did he say why?
我们没提起这事
It didn't come up.
你和他待了一整晚
You were with him all night
-竟然没提起这事吗 -没有
- and it didn't come up? - No.
那你们五个半小时
Then what the hell did you talk about
都聊了些什么
for five and a half hours?
我们聊了上半场最后阶段整个下半场
Oh, the end of the early game, and then the whole late game.
那其实是一次成功的弃踢
Which actually had a successful onside kick.
你压根看不出来因为规则变了
I mean, you just don't see it since the rule change.
真的吗我们唯一的情侣朋友遭遇感情危机了
Really? The only couples friends we've ever had are in crisis,
你竟然一句话都没问他吗
and you didn't ask him anything about it?
我没问
No.
太直男了
That is so men.
不谈感情
No feelings allowed.
不感情可是很丰富的
Oh, no, there were plenty of feelings.
你必须明白那个弃踢...
You have to understand, this onside kick...
如果你再说一次"弃"和"踢"
If you say the words "On," "Side" or "Kick" One more time,
我就进厨房♥ 拿一个汤罐
I'm going into the kitchen, grabbing a can of soup,
用尽全力丢你一脸
and throwing it at you as hard as I can.
对不起
Sorry.
那真的改变了比赛局面...
Just really changed the ga...
对不起
Sorry.
好好回想他有说过什么吗
Think. Did he say anything at all?
任何能解释他对吉尔的感受
Anything at all that might explain how he's feeling about Jill
或他们之间感情生变的话
or if anything's changed in their relationship?
他真的没说邦妮
He really didn't, Bonnie.
那个男人现在烦心事很多
The man's got a lot on his plate right now.
他在和新搭档磨合他在努力升警司
He's breaking in a new partner, he's trying to make sergeant,
他的突袭者队领先3分
he had the Raiders plus three,
结果那个弃踢完全...
which the onside kick completely just...
我自觉去拿汤罐
I'll just go get the can of soup myself.
等等
Wait a second.
该死的等等
Wait one damn second.
怎么了
Huh? What?
安迪的新搭档给我多讲讲
Andy's new partner. Tell me more.
什么啊我不知道她以前是便衣
What? I don't know, she was on plainclothes,
-然后她便衣... -她
- and then she spent plainclothes... - "She"?
她她
She? She?
我也是这么说的
That's what I said.
他和伯特搭档十年了
Well, he's been partners with Bert for ten years.
伯特去哪了
What happened to Bert?
他和双胞胎兄弟重聚
He reunited with his twin brother
被选中去参加《极速前进》了
and they got picked to do The Amazing Race.
其实是三胞胎但伯特在子♥宫♥里吃掉了他
You know, there was a third one, but Bert ate him in the womb.
安迪被搞得措手不及
Wow, well, Andy was blindsided.
现在
And-and, uh, you know,
他和乔安娜一天在车里待12个小时
now he spends 12 hours a day in a car with Joanna.
贱♥货♥
The skank.
好了女士们
Okay, ladies.
我知道我们都喜欢妄下结论
I know our brains are excellent machines for jumping to conclusions,
但我们一点都不了解乔安娜
but we don't know anything about this Joanna.