极品老妈

Mom S06E01

Part 1 Feb. 16, 2020, 9:30 a.m.

-早 -早
- Morning. - Good morning.
谁想吃上法学院第一天的早餐
Who's ready for some first day of law school breakfast?
你早起为我做饭吗
You got up early to cook for me?
如果法官同意
If it pleases the court,
我想将煎饼作为证据呈上
I'd like to introduce these pancakes into evidence.
那我可要好好篡改一下
And I will happily tamper with it.
我还给你打包了一些零食
I also packed you some snacks.
健康的和你会吃的
A healthy one and one you'll actually eat.
你肯定是别人家的好妈妈
Aw, you would've made someone a great mom.
我就当没听见
I'm gonna let that slide
因为我不敢相信这一天终于...
because I can't believe this day is finally...
我知道我好自豪
I know! I'm so proud of me.
对我正要说呢
Oh, yeah, boy, that's what I was about to say.
我写了一些东西
I wrote something.
克丽丝蒂四十年前
"Christy, 40 years ago... "
通常我不是很看好自己
It's just that normally I am not a big fan of me,
但今天起床我觉得自己是个奇迹
but today I woke up and I was like, "I am a freakin' miracle."
看我在里面也用了"奇迹"这词
Hey, look it, "Miracle" Is the exact word I use in my thing.
克丽丝蒂四十年前
"Christy, 40 years ago... "
我戒瘾以后我说
When I got sober, I said,
"我要上法学院" 现在成真了
"I am gonna go to law school," And here I am,
我真要上法学院了
actually going to law school.
我喝酒时说"我想要杯思乐冰"
When I was drinking, I'd say, "Oh, I want to get a Slurpee,"
都办不到
and I couldn't make it happen.
我更委婉地写到了你的糟糕过往
Well, my thing touches on your bad days in a more elegant way,
但你举的例子也很好
but your example's good, too.
这不是很疯狂吗
I mean, isn't it crazy?
我以前是逃避法律现在我是追求法律
I used to run from the law and now I'm running towards it.
这比喻真好真希望我也能想到
Wow, that's good, I wish I'd thought of that.
克丽丝蒂四十年前
"Christy, 40 years ago... "
最棒的是班里没有一个人知道
The best part is, no one in any of my classes
我以前是什么样
will know what I used to be like.
他们只会看到一个超级聪明的未来律师
They will just see a super smart future lawyer
因为我改变了而且我穿着西装
because I've changed and I'm also wearing a blazer.
你看起来确实很聪明
Yeah. You do look smart.
我得走了
Oh, I got to go.
你能搞定的宝贝
You got this, baby.
这是我人生第一次觉得自己能搞定
For the first time in my life, I really think I do.
该死
Damn it.
看起来我多了几分钟读你写的东西吧
Looks like I got a couple minutes. Tell me your thing.
克丽丝蒂四十年前当我张开腿
"Christy, 40 years ago, when I spread my legs
把你射向世界时...
and launched you into the world... "
极品老妈第六季第一集
我见到了一个很帅的皮肤科医生
So, I met this really cute dermatologist,
在我看皮肤科医生时
when I was at the dermatologist,
你们绝对猜不到发生了什么
and you'll never guess what happened.
-他约你出去了 -他约我出去了
- He asked you out. - He asked me out.
你们准备好为我骄傲吧因为我告诉他
Now y'all get ready to be proud of me 'cause I told him,
"我戒瘾四个月了不满一年我不会约会"
"I'm four months' sober and I can't date till I have a year."
然后晚些时候他发短♥信♥给我说
Then later he texted me and said,
"还剩233天" 之后一天 "232天"
"233 days to go." The day after that, "232."
之后一天
And the day after that,
-"231天" -快说重点
- "231." - Wrap it up.
总之看来我要嫁给皮肤科医生了
Anyway, looks like I'm gonna marry a dermatologist,
这和嫁给吸血鬼一样好
go which is as good as marrying a vampire.
你永远不会变老谢谢
You never get old. Thanks.
-邦妮酒瘾者 -你好邦妮
- Bonnie, alcoholic. - Hi, Bonnie.
我这周末开始策划婚礼了
I started planning my wedding this weekend.
起初我以为这会是折磨
At first I thought it was gonna be torture,
然后我意识到了
and then it hit me...
这一天我是主角由我自导自演
This is a day all about me, planned by me, starring me.
不是每天都这样吗
Isn't that every day?
也许我一直害怕婚礼是因为在内心深处
Maybe I always hated weddings because, deep down,
我害怕没有人会那么爱我
I was afraid no one would ever...
以至于想和我结婚
love me enough to want to marry me.
现在我感觉很糟
Now I feel bad.
但戒瘾让我变成了
But sobriety changed me into someone
一个可以结婚的人
who's totally marry-able.
我唯一的遗憾是等到了49岁才戒
My only regret is waiting till I was 49 to do it.
还有人想说吗
Would anyone else like to go?
我想说克丽丝蒂酒瘾者
I would. Christy, alcoholic.
你好克丽丝蒂
Hi, Christy.
今天是我第一天上法学院
So, today was my first day of law school.
算是我一生的梦想实现了
Which is, uh, kind of the culmination of a lifelong dream.
你们猜怎么着
And guess what.
太可怕了
It was terrifying.
就像"犹他州没有酒了"一样可怕
Like "Running out of booze in Utah" Terrifying.
在今早开始前
Before we begin this morning,
我想让你们看看左边
I would like you all to look to your left,
看看右边
look to your right.
到了年底
By the end of the year,
你们中一人将离开
one of you will not be here.
等等怎么回事
Wait-wait, what's happening here?
我知道法学院会很紧张
I knew law school was gonna be intense.
我只是以为会慢慢来
I just kind of thought we would ease into it.
懂吧先在教室里转转
You know, go around the room
谈谈我们为什么要当律师
and talk about why we want to be lawyers.
不一开始就是"告诉我这个案子的相关性"
No, it was, "Tell me the relevance of this case,"
或者"分♥析♥那个决定的含义"
and "Analyze the implications of that decision."
这很不公平
And it's totally unfair
其他孩子不用兼顾家庭作业
that the other kids don't have to juggle homework,
全职工作匿名戒瘾会
a full-time job, AA,
匿名戒赌会一个看完《地♥产♥兄弟》
Gamblers Anonymous, and a mom who watches
必须要聊剧情的妈妈
Property Brothers and then has to talk about it.
是的我称自己为孩子
And, yeah, I called myself a kid.
既然她是49岁那我也是个孩子
If she gets to be 49, then I get to be a kid.
亚当我们得走了你为什么喝啤酒
Adam, we got to go. Why are you drinking a beer?
因为啤酒很好喝
Because beer is awesome?
你不知道我们要去哪吗
You have no idea where we're going.
我知道我们要去...
I do so. We're going to the, um...
-湖畔露台酒店 -湖畔露台酒店
- The Lakeside Terrace... - Lakeside Terrace!
对看吧我知道
Right. See, I know.
-因为... -因为我们都同意的那个理由
- Because... ? - Because of the reason we agreed on.
拜托这些都给你说过
Come on, I told you all this stuff.
-那是可能的婚宴场地 -场地对
- It's a possible wedding venue... - Venue! Venue, yeah.
-我知道 -天啊
- I know. - Oh, my God.
我给你说的事你从来不记
You never remember anything I tell you,
但你清楚地记得四年前
and yet you can recall every friggin' detail
你看过的篮球赛的每一个细节
about a basketball game you saw four years ago.
勇士队夺得了第一个冠军
When the Warriors won their first championship
他们在第六场战胜了骑士队太精彩了
and they beat the Cavaliers in six, it was epic.
两场比赛打到了加时
Two games went to OT.
我懂
Yeah, I get it.
你只记得对自己重要的事
You only remember what's important to you.
经典的老男人痴呆症
Classic case of Manzheimer's.
结婚对我来说很重要
Look, getting married is important to me,
但你知道在哪里结
but, you know, where we do it...
穿什么鸽子的颜色我不在乎
what we're wearing, the color of the pigeons, isn't.
鸽子
Pigeons?
我只知道不管发生什么
All I know is that it's gonna be
那都将是我人生中最棒的一天
the best day of my life no matter what.
我讨厌你在我生你气时说好听的话
I hate it when you say nice things when I'm mad at you.
听着咱俩以后也别吵了
Look, let's save ourselves a million arguments.
你负责策划婚礼我一定到场
You plan the wedding, and I'll show up.
真的吗
Really?
当然了你怎么开心怎么来
Absolutely. Do whatever makes you happy.
你发誓你不会抱怨
You swear you won't complain
-我选的东西吗 -我发誓
- about the things I choose? - I swear.
-如果我要墨西哥乐队呢 -太赞了
- What if I want a mariachi band? - I say olé.
如果我要巧克力喷泉呢
What about a chocolate fountain?
我把头都栽进去