极品老妈

Mom S05E01

Part 1 Feb. 16, 2020, 9:30 a.m.

我刚在修贝弗莉的残渣处理器
I was just fixing Beverly's disposal,
她跟我讲了个最搞笑的笑话
she told me the funniest joke.
我在学习
Studying.
高尔夫球和G点的区别是什么
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?
男人永远不会停止寻找高尔夫球
A man will never stop looking for a golf ball.
很好笑对吧
Hilarious, right?
男人是呆子
Men are oafs.
妈妈求你了我下周有法考
Mom, please, I've got my LSATs next week.
我必须学习
I've really got to study.
知道了再问一次法考是...
I get it. Once again, the LSATs are...?
法学院入学考试
Law School Admissions Test.
当然了法考
Oh, sure, L-S-A-T.
这样好记多了
Oh, that's an easy way to remember it.
-妈妈 -抱歉
- Mom! - Sorry, sorry,
我拿点吃的就不烦你了
I'll just grab a bite and leave you to it.
我能只说一句话吗
Can I just say one thing?
我怎么不信呢
I doubt it.
我很为你自豪
I am so proud of you.
-谢谢 -看看你变化多大
- Thanks. - I mean, look how far you've come,
从怀孕中学辍学生
from pregnant high school dropout
到想上法学院的学生仅用了22年
to wannabe law school student in just 22 short years.
如果你不闭嘴会变成23年
23 if you don't shut up.
对不起
Sorry.
我会像老鼠一样安静
Quiet as a mouse.
喂
Hey.
是萝卜
It's a carrot.
我依然能听见
I can still hear it.
抱歉
Sorry.
看在上帝的分上快削完吧
Oh, for God's sake, just finish it.
好了
Ta-da!
现在你在做什么
Now what are you doing?
捕捉珍贵的回忆
Capturing a precious memory--
我了不起的女儿为...某个考试学习
my amazing daughter studying for... some test.
法考法考
LSAT. LSAT.
对法考我这就走
Right, LSAT. I'm leaving now,
但如果你需要什么记得告诉我
but if you need anything, let me know.
真自豪
So proud.
40年来都没支持过我
Didn't support me for 40 years.
现在突然变成母女情深了
All of a sudden, we're the Gilmore Girls.
我必须再拍几张你看起来很愤怒
I have to take these again. You look really angry.
极品老妈第五季第一集
回去
Back!
我没出声
I didn't make a sound.
我能闻到你的漂胡剂
I can smell your mustache bleach.
但人家渴嘛
But I'm thirsty.
进浴室打开花洒张开嘴
Get in the shower and open your mouth.
但首先去开门
But first, get the door.
人小脾气大
So tiny and so mean.
就像吉娃娃
Like a Chihuahua.
宝贝
Hey, baby.
不
Nope!
亚当提前回来了拖住他一分钟
Adam's back early! Stall him for a minute.
一分钟你看见你的样子了吗
A minute? Have you seen yourself?
亚当你什么时候回来的
Hey, Adam, when'd you get back?
今早
This morning.
我刚看到了什么玩意
What was I just looking at?
是啊你永远不想看到香肠的制♥作♥过程
Yeah... you never want to see how the sausage is made.
你的工作怎么样
So, how was your job?
电影非常烂但支票结清了
Ah, the movie's a piece of crap, but the check cleared,
而且我拍了一张巨石强森婴儿抱我的照片
and I got a picture of The Rock carrying me like a baby.
你们为什么都没穿上衣
Why are both your shirts off?
我不知道一切发生得太快
I don't know, it all happened so fast.
听着还有件事我想...
Uh, listen, there's something else I wanted to...
亚当我希望我能聊
Adam, I wish I could talk,
但我在为周四的法考临时抱佛脚
but I'm cramming for the LSAT on Thursday.
天啊天啊
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
你犯了天大的错误但是天啊
You're making a huge mistake, but, oh, my God!
你觉得她会喜欢吗
You think she'll like it?
会的真美
Yes, it's beautiful.
我不敢相信你要这样做
I can't believe you're doing this.
我也不敢相信
I can't, either.
但离开你妈妈六周感觉就像六个月
But six weeks away from your mother felt like six months.
原来我说"我爱你"不只是为了滚床单
Turns out I wasn't just saying "I love you" to get laid.
我真为你们高兴
I am so happy for you guys!
你打算怎么求婚
So, how you gonna ask her?
我想带她去汉堡小屋
I thought I'd take her to the burger shack
我们在那里第一次约会
where we had our first official date.
小屋你打算在小屋里向她求婚
A shack? You are going to propose to her at a shack?
"小屋"有点引人误会
Uh... "Shack" Is misleading.
更像是棚屋那是个永久性建筑
It's more like a hut. It's a permanent structure.
听着这是她第一次希望也是最后一次被求婚
Look, this is her first and hopefully last proposal ever.
这是她会记一辈子的瞬间
This is a moment she will remember always.
你让我有点怕了
You're starting to freak me out a little.
你要这样做
Here's what you're gonna do.
有家餐厅叫斯普迪诺
There's this restaurant Spetrino's.
我们吃不起你吃得起
We can't afford it, you can.
订一张星星灯房♥间的桌子
You want a table in the room with the twinkle lights.
她吃完烩牛膝后你暗示服务生
After she finishes the osso buco, you signal the waiter
端上来柑曼怡蛋奶酥
to bring over the Grand Marnier soufflé.
-好的但那不是... -酒精会挥发掉
- Yeah, but doesn't that...? - The alcohol burns off.
总之
Anyway,
戒指藏在蛋奶酥里
the ring is already hidden in the soufflé,
他走到桌旁时
and as he comes up to the table,
你单膝跪地...
you get down on one...
你坐在原位抛出问题
You sit where you are and pop the question.
你随便想出的点子细节真详细
That's a lot of detail off the top of your head.
我把我的梦想借给了你别搞砸了
I am loaning you my dream. Don't mess it up.
亚当
Adam?!
我不知道你来了
I didn't know you were here.
享受你的香肠吧
Enjoy your sausage.
说得真直白但我会的
That's a little forward, but I intend to.
拜托告诉我们
Come on, tell us.
吉尔到了以后才能说
Not until Jill gets here.
但相信我是猛料
But trust me, this is big.
邦妮和亚当要结婚了
Bonnie and Adam are getting married.
不差远了
No. Not even close.
实际上在吉尔来之前
Actually, before Jill gets here,
我真的想说点她的坏话
I really want to say something not nice about her,
但这只是因为我在乎
but it's only 'cause I care.
我也想说同样的坏话
I think I want to say the same not-nice thing,
但也是因为我在乎
but it's only 'cause I care, too.
女士们她这几个月过得很难
Ladies, she's had a rough couple of months,
她怎么处理事情不该由我们评判
and it's not for us to judge how she is or isn't handling it.
我是她朋友该死我会说点什么的
Well, I'm her friend and, damn it, I'm gonna say something.
嘘她来了
Shh, shh. Here she comes.
请给我来杯草莓奶昔只要一根吸管
Can I get a strawberry milkshake over here with one straw?
挪过去温蒂
Scootch over, Wendy.
我以为我已经挪了
I thought I did.
我错过了什么
So what'd I miss?
克丽丝蒂
Christy?
吉尔作为你的朋友
Well, Jill... as your friend,
我觉得我应该告诉你
um, I think I should tell you that...
亚当今晚要向我妈妈求婚
...Adam is proposing to my mother tonight!
-天啊 -太好了
- Oh, my God! - Wonderful!
我猜中了
Hey, I guessed that!
想要奖品吗去嘉年华吧
You want a prize, go to a carnival.
邦妮你在上面怎么样了
Bonnie, how you doing up there?
我们订的位子是8点
Our reservation's at 8:00.
放松现在才8点15分
Relax. It's only 8:15.
你就是这样踱步的吗
So that's what pacing is for you.
我有点紧张