极品老妈

Mom S08E06

Part 3 March 1, 2021, 11 a.m.

你会开始看到
you'd start to see that...
他们靠边停车了
Oh. They're pulling over.
快别跟丢了
Quick, don't lose 'em.
等等
Uh, hang on.
他们也没注意到这种操作
Wow. They didn't notice that, either.
真好玩
This is fun.
是啊
It is fun.
两个警♥察♥ 两杯咖啡没有甜甜圈
Two cops, two coffees, no doughnuts.
另一个迷思粉碎了
Another myth exploded.
我希望她是个绝色美女这是不是很可怕
Is it horrible that I wish she were drop-dead gorgeous?
我不可能输给这样的普通女人
I mean, I can't lose him to her.
这真肤浅吉尔
Well, that's awfully shallow, Jill.
虽然她的胡子对她可没什么好处
Although that mustache isn't doing her any favors.
不等等那只是阴影
No, wait. That's just a shadow.
不等等
No, wait.
那到底是什么
Well, what the hell is that, then?
如果我输给比我丑的人
If I lose him to somebody less pretty than me,
那就代表是我的问题
then it means it's me.
我内在的问题
You know, my insides.
我可没法给内在打肉毒杆菌
And I can't Botox my insides.
要是可以就好了
If only we could.
是吧
Right?
天啊现在他们一起笑了
Oh, God, now they're laughing together.
他是真的在笑
And that's his real laugh,
不是为了怜悯我而装出的假笑
not the fake one he takes pity on me with.
亚当也会假笑
Adam has one of those, too.
总是笑三下
Always three.
-他们从来都不眼神接触 -从不
- Yeah, and they never make eye contact. - Never.
我就不会假笑
You know, I don't have a fake laugh.
如果事情不好笑我就不笑
If something's not funny, I just don't laugh.
所以你很棒啊
And that's what makes you awesome.
因为你很真实不玩虚的
Because you're authentic. You are the real deal.
我知道我不该给他打电♥话♥ 但是
I know I'm not supposed to call him, but...
我需要知道他有没有一点点想到我
I need to know if he's thinking about me at all.
好他拿起了手♥机♥
Okay, he's picking up.
他在看来电显示
He's checking caller I.D.
然后
And...
他把手♥机♥放下了
he's putting it back down.
他把我转到语♥音♥信箱了
He sent me to voice mail.
因为他在工作
Because he's at work.
他们也许有规定在他们喝咖啡
They probably have a rule where they can't take personal calls
和大笑的时候不能接私人电♥话♥
while they're having coffee and-and-and laughing.
那你给他打电♥话♥
Okay, well, then you call him.
严格来说那也是私人电♥话♥
Well, technically, I think that's a personal call...
快打
Call him.
好
Okay.
好他拿起了手♥机♥
All right, he's picking it up...
他在看手♥机♥
he's looking at it...
-他 -安迪
- and he's... - Hey. Andy.
怎么了
Wh-What is up?
问得好
That's a good question.
谢谢来电我得挂了
Thanks for calling. I got to go.
他接了你的电♥话♥ 那说明了一切
Oh, he picked up for you. That says everything.
但是吉尔你跟安迪在停顿期我没有
But, Jill, you're on a pause with Andy. I'm not.
他接了我的电♥话♥
He probably picked up for me
也许是他以为亚当有什么事
because he thought it was something to do with Adam.
是他
It's him.
快变声
Disguise your voice.
是塔米冷静点
It's Tammy. Calm down.
吉尔和我在跟踪安迪
Jill and I are following Andy around...
-我带了甘草糖快说说 -红的还是黑的
- I brought licorice. Catch me up. - Red or black?
红的我又不是连环杀手
Red. I'm not a serial killer.
天啊拜托告诉我你没告诉玛乔丽
Oh, God, please tell me you didn't tell Marjorie
我们在干什么
what we're doing.
她在沙发上睡着了
Mm-mm. She fell asleep on the couch.
甚至都不知道我来了
She doesn't even know I'm here.
很好我可不想听
Good, 'cause I am not up for
"别跟踪男友"的演讲
the "Don't Stalk Boyfriends" Speech.
姑娘们坚持戒瘾
Girls, part of being sober
就是不要做出那些
is not making choices
以后需要做出补偿的选择
you're gonna have to make an amends for down the road.
专注自己和戒瘾
Keep your focus on yourself and your sobriety.
如果别人偶尔清理一次猫砂盆
You know, it would be nice if someone else
那就太好了
cleaned the cat box once in a blue moon.
跟戒瘾无关只是超烦人
It's not involved with sobriety; it's just super annoying.
情况好转了
Now, this is recovery.
我在跟踪警♥察♥ 而不是警♥察♥跟踪我
I'm following a cop instead of them following me.
他们的警灯亮了
Ooh, their woo-woo lights are on!
大家趴下我们被发现了
Everybody down! We've been made!
不我觉得他们是看到了
No, I think they spotted that drunk guy
那个跌跌撞撞地走出保龄球馆的醉汉
stumbling out of the bowling alley.
没穿上衣太明显了
Oh, no shirt on. Such a giveaway.
那是什么帕瓦罗蒂
What's up with those, Pavarotti?
我从玛乔丽那里顺来的
I swiped them from Marjorie.
猫咪玩耍时她用这个
She uses them to keep an eye out for the coyotes
来留意土狼
during the cats' playtime.
乔安娜真强壮
Ooh, Joanna's strong.
这单臂扼颈太帅了
That's a solid half nelson.
安迪铐手铐很利落嘛
Andy very dainty with the cuffs.
是啊因为他一直
Yeah. Comes from a lifetime
都是班里最高大的人
of being the biggest person in the room.
他六岁时不小心压扁了一只兔子
He accidentally crushed a bunny when he was six.
-天啊 -太惨了
- Oh, my God. - That's so sad.
是啊我一直劝他去看心理医生
I know. I've been trying to get him into therapy.
复活节对他来说很难熬
Easter's a very difficult holiday for him.
安迪刚帮她开了车门
Andy just opened the back door for her!
他必须如此她两只手都抓着那个醉鬼
Yeah, he kind of had to. She's got her hand full of drunk guy.
醉鬼要吐了
Drunk-gonna-vomit guy.
乔安娜的袖子溅上了一点呕吐物
Joanna's caught a little splash on her sleeve.
安迪在帮她擦
And Andy is wiping it off for her.
这是亲密行为
That is intimate behavior!
我在想亚当是否会
I-I'm trying to think if Adam
帮我擦掉袖子上别人的呕吐物
would wipe someone's vomit off my sleeve.
我想他会
I guess he would.
他当然会
Of course he would.
他是绅士
He's a gentleman.
我们不再像那样喝酒了你们是不是很高兴
Aren't you glad we don't drink like that anymore?
还穿着上衣
And keep our shirts on?
是啊我们现在真健康
Yeah. We're so healthy now.
谁能料到他们会送他去医院呢
Aw. Who bet they were taking him to the hospital?
我料到了
I did.
该死我还以为他蹲监狱是板上钉钉的事
Damn it, I thought jail was a stone-cold lock.
谢谢各位老板
Thank you, thank you.
他们拖他下车了
Oop. They're dragging him out.
天啊没穿上衣的酒鬼昏过去了
Marone, shirtless puker's out cold.
他有只球鞋不见了
And he lost a sneaker.
我也经历过人们不明白
Been there. You know, people don't understand.
每次你看到路上有单独一只球鞋
Every time you see a lone sneaker in the middle of a road,
那都是有故事的
there's a story.
乔安娜什么时候抽空涂了口红
Hey, when did Joanna have time to put on lipstick?
别这么严格她袖子上有呕吐物呢
Oh, cut her some slack-- she's got puke on her sleeve.
你们在干什么
What are you guys doing?
上车关门
Get in. Close the door.
我们在监视吉尔的男友
We're spying on Jill's boyfriend.
该死我错过了一切就因为我上了夜班
Dang it, I miss everything since I took the night shift.
甘草糖
Ooh. Licorice.
那个醉鬼是怎么回事
Hey, what's going on with the drunk guy?
他撞到头了吗
Yeah, did he hit his head?
没有我们得给他洗胃
No. We got to pump his stomach.
我又赢了给钱
Yeah! I win again. Pay up.