极品老妈

Mom S04E01

Part 1 Feb. 16, 2020, 9:30 a.m.

我们这边买♥♥单
Can we get the check please?
克丽丝蒂瞧瞧他们有特色软糖布朗尼圣代
Ooh, Christy, look. They have a fudge brownie sundae special.
记得你小的时候
Remember when you were a little girl
我们会在下雨天做圣代吗
and we'd make those on rainy days?
妈妈我们谈过了
Mom, we've talked about this.
你不能瞎编幸福的回忆
You can't make up happy memories
还指望我会以为那是真的
hoping I'll think they're true.
你记得你五岁生日时我给你买♥♥的小猫吗
Do you remember the kitten I got you for your fifth birthday?
弥顿先生我记得
Mr. Mittens? Sure.
瞎编你也信了嘛
Ah, so I can make them up.
点一份圣代我得去卫生间
Order a sundae, I got to pee.
-圣代听起来不错 -我要一份
- A sundae does sound good. - I'll split one.
我可以吃点甜的
I could go for something sweet.
不行不能点圣代
No! No sundaes.
-我得载她回家 -为什么
- I got to get her home. - Why?
她男友回城里了
Her boyfriend's back in town
他在我们家等着给她一个惊喜
and he's waiting at our house to surprise her.
我家里唯一等着给我一个惊喜的
The only thing waiting to surprise me
就是寂静
at my place is silence.
那真是惊喜吗
Is that really a surprise?
她出来后大家都别点甜点
So when she comes out, no one wants dessert.
吉尔付账我们就走
Jill pays the check, and we're out of here.
真的吗现在我们都懒得装作
Really? So we're not even gonna pretend
为此争辩一番了吗
to argue over it, anymore?
你点了圣代了吗
You order the sundae?
-抱歉没了走吧 -真扫兴
- Sorry, they're out. Let's go. - Bummer.
也许我们可以在回家路上去冰淇淋店买♥♥
Hey, maybe we can stop at the ice cream place on the way home.
-不行我得赶回家学习 -那你去开车吧
- Oh, we can't. I got to study. - Well, then take the car.
她们载我就好
I'll get a ride from one of these guys.
-谁想吃冰淇淋 -谁都不想
- Who wants ice cream? - None of them.
温蒂有乳糖不耐症玛乔丽该睡觉了
Wendy's lactose intolerant; it's past Marjorie's bedtime,
吉尔只在卫生间里一个人吃冰淇淋
and Jill only eats ice cream alone in the bathroom.
快点走吧
Come on, let's hit it.
至少去超♥市♥
Well, at least let's stop at the supermarket
买♥♥点奶油核桃吧
and pick up some Butter Pecan.
该死亚当回来了在家里等着
Damn it woman, Adam's home and he's waiting for you
给你一个惊喜呢
at the house to surprise you.
天啊
Oh, my God!
我们还在这里干什么快走
What are we doing here?! Let's go.
你做得真棒毁了老娘的惊喜
Nice work ruining the surprise.
你做得真棒毁了弥顿先生的回忆
Nice work ruining Mr. Mittens!
再检查一下我
Okay, double check me.
胸口气胳肢窝
Boobs, breath, pits?
没问题没问题
Fine, fine.
我可不闻
Not doing that.
你能相信吗服务员以为我是你姐姐
Can you believe the waiter thought I was your sister?
惊喜哟
Surprise!
什么亚当
What?! Adam?
你知道吗
Did you know... ?
你个坏人
You!
你个坏人
And you!
你们两个坏人
You...
你跟她说了对吧
Oh, you told her, didn't you?
谁在乎啊这还是最棒的惊喜
Oh, who cares? It's still the best surprise ever.
房♥间里还有孩子呢
Child in the room.
我还以为月末你才能忙完电影
Oh... I thought you weren't done on the movie until the end of the month.
原来你男友是个超棒的特技协调人
Well, turns out your boyfriend's a rockin' stunt coordinator.
范·迪塞尔从直升飞机
Vin Diesel only had to jump out of a helicopter,
跳到一辆行驶的火车上只拍了一次
onto a moving train... once.
砰为他们省了二十万
Bam, saved them two hundred grand.
砰回来见女友
Bam, got home to my woman.
砰我的新爱好是说砰
And bam, my new thing is saying "Bam."
我好想你
I missed you so much.
砰
Bam.
范·迪塞尔是什么样的
So what's Vin Diesel like?
人们叫他范还是V还是范·迪[性病]
Do people call him Vin or V or VD?
也许不是那个
Probably not that.
她从来都不懂暗示
She never could take a hint.
我们不如去你家吧
Why don't we head back to your place?
-实际上我住在酒店 -为什么
- Actually I'm staying in a hotel. - u202dWhy?
我转租的那个人还能住两周
The guy I sublet to, he still has it for two more weeks.
但住酒店太疯狂了你等于是在扔钱
But a hotel is crazy, you're just throwing money away.
你为何不住在这里
Why don't you stay here?
付我一半的钱双赢
Pay me half-- everybody wins.
不不我可不想妨碍你
No, no, no, no. I don't want to get in your way.
不会的告诉他克丽丝蒂
No. You won't. Tell him, Christy.
没事我要上班上课不会待在家里的
It's fine. Between work and school I'm never here.
而且罗斯科这周待在他爸爸家
Plus Roscoe's at his dad's all week,
你可以住蝙蝠洞
so the Batcave is available.
如果你们没意见那挺好的
If it's okay with you guys, I mean, that sounds great.
最棒的是不用在早上羞耻地回家了
And the best part, no walk of shame.
拜托你什么时候羞耻过
Oh, please, when did you ever have shame?
你不是要做家庭作业吗
Don't you have homework to do?
是啊
Oh, sure.
我得写一篇关于贸易禁运
I actually do have to write a paper about trade embargoes
以及那是如何影响国际关系的论文
and how they affect international relations.
真的很有意思
It's really pretty interesting...
懂点味
Take the hint!
不好我的笔记本
Ugh, my laptop.
我忘了我的
I forgot my...
天啊
Holy God!
极品老妈第四季第一集
邦妮今晚又不来吗
So no Bonnie again tonight?
是啊
Nope. u202dOh.
我很高兴她男友回来了
I'm happy her fella's back,
但她还是得挪动屁♥股♥来参加会议
but she still needs to get her butt to meetings.
现在她的屁♥股♥有点忙
Yeah, well, right now her butt's kind of occupied.
等等那听起来很奇怪
Wait, that sounded weird.
我有点担心她
I'm a little worried about her.
每次我将男人置于戒瘾之前
Every time I ever put a man ahead of my sobriety,
就会惹上麻烦
I got myself in trouble.
你这话说得像是你有很多男人似的
You make it sound like you had a lot of men.
告诉你一下我跟男人上♥床♥时
For your information, I was banging dudes
你还在卖♥♥女童子军饼干呢
while you were selling Girl Scout cookies.
尊重
Respect.
我觉得我妈妈没事
I think my mom is fine.
他俩很爱对方
The two of them are so into each other,
简直像活在汤姆·汉克斯和梅格·瑞恩的电影里
it's like living in a Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan movie.
银幕情侣
如果汤姆·汉克斯不能走路
You know, if Tom Hanks couldn't walk,
而梅格·瑞恩是个得了郁躁症的反♥社♥会♥分子
and Meg Ryan was a bipolar sociopath.
我想每个罐子都能找到合适的盖子吧
I guess there's a lid for every pot.
希望如此
I hope so.
因为我的"罐子"一年多没"盖子"了
'Cause my pot hasn't had a lid for over a year.
那是个空荡荡的落满灰尘的罐子
It's just an empty, dusty pot.
尊重
Respect.
你得出去约会
You need to get yourself out there and meet someone.
-好像那很容易一样 -就是很容易
- Like it's that easy. - u202dIt is.
也许偶尔脱下匡威鞋和帽衫
Maybe ditch the Converse and hoodie once in a while,
让人们看出你是个女孩
and let people see you're a girl.
孩子们都这样穿
Hey, this is what all the kids wear.
谁想来告诉她
Who wants to tell her?
你跟被害人是什么关系
What is your relationship to the victim?
你非得现在剪指甲吗
Is that something that has to happen right now?
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
不知道这让你烦心
Didn't know it bothered you.
没有只是
I-It doesn't. It's just...
我在看电影
You know, I'm watching a movie,
还要躲指甲片
ducking nail shrapnel.
知道了
Got it.
我不剪了
I'll stop.