极品老妈

Mom S08E01

Part 2 Nov. 9, 2020, 7 p.m.

天啊你们小时候
My gosh, did none of you ever go
没参加过睡衣派对吗
to a slumber party when you were kids?
-寄养家庭 -没朋友
- Foster care. - No friends.
猛嗑毒品
I was strung out on horse.
算你们走运
Oh. Well, lucky for you,
我以前超受欢迎我会教你们
I was extremely popular and I will guide you through it.
睡衣派对跌宕起伏
There is an ebb and flow to a slumber party,
犹如诗歌♥或舒适按♥摩♥
not unlike a poem or a good massage.
她到了笑起来
She's here. Big smiles.
不是选美假笑吉尔是真笑
Not the pageant one, Jill, the real one.
记得你14岁生日时想要什么吗
Hey. Remember what you wanted for your 14th birthday?
-一箱啤酒 -不
- A case of beer? - No.
-卷发真爱 -不不
- Curly hair? True love? - No. No.
睡衣派对现在有啦
A slumber party. And here it is!
惊喜
Surprise!
天啊各位这太好了
Oh, my God, you guys. This is amazing!
瞧瞧这些花和气球
Look at the flowers and balloons.
有我名字的牌子
And a sign with my name on it.
这不可能更棒了
Oh, there's no way this could possibly be better.
除非还有自烤蛋糕
Unless we had a homemade cake.
我从没有
Never have I ever
为了吸氮气假装牙疼过
faked a toothache just to get nitrous.
我做过就要喝吗
So, I drink if I've done it?
是的
Yes.
我们已经玩了半个小时了
We've been playing this game for half an hour.
你怎么还没搞懂
How is this still a question for you?
句型结构很让人困惑
The sentence structure is very confusing.
应该是"你有没有过"
It should really just be "Have you ever."
通常要醉醺醺地玩这个游戏
Well, normally, you'd play this game drunk,
所以语法不重要
so grammar doesn't matter.
好我来试试
Okay, let me try one.
我一直没有...
I have never, ever, never...
妈呀
Oy.
在教堂做过爱
...had sex in a church.
那是在割礼仪式上犹太教会堂算吗
Wait, it was a bris. Do synagogues count?
谷仓庆典上的阿米什人算吗
How about an Amish guy at a barn raising?
只要亵渎了上帝就算
Any place where God is defiled.
你不是在葬礼上做过爱吗
Hey, didn't you have sex at a funeral?
是的但那是在墓地里
I did, but it was at the cemetery.
感谢你还记得
Thanks for remembering, though.
该你了邦妮
You go, Bonnie.
怕是没什么你没做过的事
Oh, good luck finding something you haven't done.
我从没有因为好奇
Never have I ever eaten cat treats
吃过猫零食
because I was curious.
我就知道
I knew it!
塔米你来
Tammy, go.
不我想再来
No, no, I want to go again.
我从没有
Never have I ever
杀死过我本该照顾的东西
killed something I was supposed to be taking care of.
我忘记给你的小榕树浇水了翻篇吧
I forgot to water your ficus. Get over it.
你的73只猫还活着呢不是吗
All 73 of your cats were still alive, weren't they?
你杀了什么风景吗
What'd you kill, someone's buzz?
不是
No.
一个男人
A man.
什么
What?
等等怎么衍生成凶杀剧了
Wait, did this just segue into Murder Mystery?
我可没有同意过
Because I did not authorize that.
上周急诊室有两个病人
Last week, I had two patients in the ER
但重症监护室只有一张床
and only one ICU bed.
我建议先救治其中一人
I advocated for one guy over the other,
所以医生先收了他
so the doctor took him first.
等有了空床位时
By the time we found a bed,
另一个病人死了
the other patient had died.
亲爱的这不是你的错
Oh, sweetie, that's not your fault.
你是个护士你必须基于
You're a nurse. You have to prioritize
谁更需要治疗来做取舍
based on who needs it more.
但我不确定我做对了
But I'm not sure I did.
另一个人对我很无礼
The other guy was rude to me.
我担心我在扮演上帝
I'm worried that I was playing God.
不你只是有一份很难的工作
No. You just have a really tough job.
你没杀任何人
You didn't kill anybody.
-不过我爸爸可就... -换新游戏吉尔
- My dad, on the other hand... - New game. New game, Jill.
好这是我最爱的游戏
Yeah. Okay. This one's my favorite.
塔米你快速呼吸直到头晕
Tammy, you breathe really fast until you get light-headed,
然后我们压你胸口让你昏厥
and the rest of us will push on your chest till you pass out.
这游戏叫昏厥
It's called Pass Out.
作为一个医护人员
As a medical professional,
我恐怕不能允许
I am not sure I can allow this.
作为一个清醒的人我觉得这不是个好主意
As a sober person, I don't think it's a good idea.
我不能喝酒不能吸毒
Aw. I can't drink. I can't do drugs.
现在连断气找乐子都不行了吗
Now I can't even have people cut off my air supply for fun?
该死
Damn it.
好了女士们这是性♥爱♥小桶
All right, ladies, welcome to Sex Bucket.
这里面放着
This contains the names
周三互助会的男性成员姓名
of the men from our Wednesday meeting.
轮到你时你要拿出两个名字
When it is your turn, you will pick two names
选择一个你想睡的
and choose the one you would sleep with.
寿星先来
Birthday girl?
好
Ooh, all right.
来看看
Let's see.
握手有力的戴夫
Vigorous Handshake Dave...
和
...versus
老兵保罗
Paul the Veteran.
真难选
Ooh, that's tricky.
我选择保罗不喜欢他的胡子
I choose Paul. Don't love the beard,
但感谢你的服役
but thank you for your service.
-好轮到我了 -好
- Okay. My turn, my turn. - Okay.
好
All righty.
冥想老师愤怒的马克
Angry Mark the Meditation Teacher...
还是紧身牛仔裤汤姆
...or Tight Jeans Tom.
我不知道
Oh, I don't know.
随便选一个
Just pick one.
我更喜欢汤姆
I prefer Tom,
但需要很多自我调整
but there's a lot of self-adjusting.
这不是真的
This isn't real.
这不代表我们不会擦出爱的火花
That doesn't mean it couldn't lead to something.
好了这游戏的有趣之处就是速度
Okay, part of what makes this game fun is pace.
玛乔丽你来
Marjorie, go.
我不想玩这游戏
I don't want to play this game.
如果我们作为女性希望
If we as women want to be treated
受到尊重和尊敬
with respect and dignity,
我们就不该坐在这里物化男人
we shouldn't be sitting here objectifying men.
我们只物化帅哥
We're only objectifying the hot ones.
做得好你毁了性♥爱♥小桶
Well done. You ruined Sex Bucket.
下个游戏吉尔
Next game, Jill.
好真心话大冒险
All right. Truth or Dare.
超喜欢我先来大冒险
Love it! I'll go first. Dare.
我有一个
I have one.
你好
Hello.
我想买♥♥一盒套套
I would like to buy one packet of condoms--
最小号♥的
your smallest size--
还有每一种口味的牛肉干
and every flavor of Slim Jim.
我还想告诉你
And also, I would like to tell you this.
♪ 你让我觉得 ♪
♪ You make me feel ♪
♪ 你让我觉得自己是个 ♪
♪ You make me feel like ♪
♪ 天生丽质的 ♪
♪ A natural ♪
♪ 女人 ♪
♪ Woman ♪
♪ 女人 ♪
♪ Woman! ♪
好了快结账吧结束这场噩梦
All right, ring it up. Let's end this nightmare.
好你可以脱掉了
All right, you can take it off now.