极品老妈

Mom S08E04

Part 2 March 1, 2021, 11 a.m.

快点
Chop, chop.
说啊
Talk.
你说
You talk.
你们有没有看汤姆·汉克斯的新片
So, uh, hey, did you guys happen to catch the new Tom Hanks movie?
对那家伙演谁像谁
Oh, yeah. That guy really is every man.
安迪没法清醒地看完一场电影
Andy can't stay awake for a whole movie.
如果你不想让我睡觉
Well, if you didn't want me to fall asleep,
那为什么要在家庭影院里的
why would you leave a weighted blanket
躺椅上放一条重力毯
on a recliner in your home theater?
你看橄榄球的时候可没睡
Well, you don't fall asleep watching football in there.
我当然没睡因为我猜不到结局
Yeah, I don't, because I can't guess the endings,
不像你选的那些电影
unlike the movies you pick.
她有一家书店他做房♥地♥产♥
"She owns a bookstore, he's in real estate.
剧透预警他们相爱了
Spoiler alert: they fall in love."
至少他们有个好结局
Well, at least they have happy endings.
如果你不爱我直说就行了
If you don't love me, just say so.
我要去吃肉减压了
I'm gonna go lose myself in meat.
汤姆·汉克斯有没有搞错
Tom Hanks? Really?
如果我们也闹别扭就无人生还了
If we turn on each other, no one survives.
你说得对我很抱歉
You're right, I'm sorry.
应该出个应用
There should be an app
提前说你的朋友们在吵架
that tells you when your friends are fighting,
这样你就能假装祖母去世留在家里了
so you can fake a dead grandma and stay home.
这是个好主意
That's a great idea.
我真的很爱你
I really love you.
我真的很爱你
I really love you.
好冷静
Okay, calm down.
牛排能感受到你的愤怒
The steak can sense your anger.
如果我们现在就走他们也许会不记得我们来过
If we leave now, they might not remember we were here.
不不不
No, no, no.
吉尔是我的朋友她需要我的帮助
Jill's my friend and she needs my help.
上帝让我来这里是有理由的
God put me here for a reason.
这房♥子很大我找她可能要花几个小时
It's a big house. Could be hours till I find her.
我知道先生马上就好
Yes, I know, sir. It's coming right up, okay?
还剩几分钟感谢您的耐心
Just be a few more minutes. Thank you for your patience.
我很感激好吗
I appreciate it, all right?
我看到你歪戴着贝雷帽
I see you're wearing your beret at a saucy angle.
你是想暗示我什么吗
Are you trying to send a message?
看好你的鸡
Eyes on the chicken.
我的食物呢我们要错过越野摩托抽奖了
Where's my food? We're missing the dirt bike raffle.
马上就好
It's coming right up.
我要五杯香草可乐现在就要
I need five "Coke vans" And I need 'em now.
-收到 -还有多久做好
- Heard. - What's our ETA?
我不知道我还在做第一单
I don't know. I'm still on number one.
什么
What?
今晚是开张夜
Well, it's opening night.
外面可能有美食评论家
There might be food critics out there.
抱歉他是个完美主义者
I'm sorry, he's a perfectionist.
给请享受巴黎的免费可乐
Here, enjoy a complimentary cup of cola from Paris.
这是热的
This is warm.
法国人就是这样喝的天啊
That's how they drink it in France. Oh, my God.
只有我一个去普罗旺斯避暑吗
Am I the only one who summered in Provence?
上菜
Order up.
终于好了
Finally.
这个24块
That'll be $24.
吉尔
Jill?
在这里
Over here.
-再说一次 -这里
- One more time. - Here.
这里
Here.
你在这里啊怎么了
There you are. What's going on?
安迪和我要分手了都怪你
Andy and I are gonna break up, and it's all your fault.
等等我不想让你觉得我在敷衍你
Hang on, I don't want you to think i'm not taking you seriously.
好现在说吧
Okay, now go.
在看到你和亚当在咖啡馆情深意浓后
After seeing you and Adam at the Bistro so in love,
我开始想我希望我和安迪也一样
I got to thinking I want Andy and I to have that, too.
当然了我们感情很好
I mean, sure, we're good,
但我想踏入那个你所说的更高领域
but I want to go to that higher ground you were talking about.
我想步入正轨
I want to get this show on the road.
这没什么错
There's nothing wrong with that.
我也是这样想的
That's what I thought.
所以我回家径直走进浴室
So I came home, marched right into the bathroom,
告诉安迪我想加深感情
told Andy I wanted to deepen our relationship,
你猜他说了什么
and you know what he said?
"我能先洗完澡吗"
"Can I finish my shower first?"
你能相信吗
Can you believe that?
所以我冲了马桶气他拿上所有的毛巾走了
So I flushed the toilet on him, grabbed all the towels and left.
我为什么要谈这个恋爱呢
Why am I even in this relationship?
尽管很多优秀医生都努力过
I mean, despite the efforts of some pretty good doctors,
但我不会变年轻了
I am not getting any younger.
是这样
Here's the thing:
邦妮和亚当的完美之旅
the Bonnie-Adam journey to perfection
始于一个我称之为"交流"的小起点
starts in a little town I call Communication.
如果他不想说话我要怎么交流
Well, how can I communicate if he won't talk?
首先你得造访一个我称之为"耐心"的
Well, first you have to stop off at a quaint little hamlet
古朴小村庄
I call Patience.
亚当以前也一样
Adam was the same way.
他只在看了一部体育电影后才会对我敞开心扉
He'd only open up to me after watching a movie about sports
或者有名人去世了
or when someone famous died.
他们为他拍了一部体育电影
You know, someone they made a sports movie about.
过了这么多年谈了这么多次恋爱
After all these years and all these relationships,
按说我已经理解男人了
you'd think I'd understand men by now.
别自责啊
Don't beat yourself up.
你怎么能理解给我们带来了
How are you supposed to understand the people
战争还有魔术表演的人们
who brought us war and magic shows?
他们都不理解自己
I mean, they don't even understand themselves.
所以他们过度解释一切
I think that's why they overexplain everything.
天啊
Oh, God.
我让安迪调高温度
I asked Andy to turn up the heat
结果他告诉我怎么造恒温器
and he told me how to build a damn thermostat.
我让亚当调低温度
I asked Adam to turn down the heat
结果他跟我解释更年期
and he explained menopause to me.
有时候我对邦妮说 "好吧聊聊吧"
Sometimes with Bonnie, I say, "Okay, let's talk,"
她就滔滔不绝
and she's off to the races.
我就点头直到她说完
I just nod my head until she punches herself out.
那有作用吗
And that works?
是的
Yeah, it does.
如果我坐的位置对了
If I sit in the right place,
还能越过她的肩膀看电视
I can watch TV over her shoulder.
吉尔要求有眼神接触
Jill demands eye contact.
你真该听听她说的一些话
You should hear some of the things she says.
我跟你保证我听过更糟糕的
I guarantee you I've heard worse.
真的吗
Oh, really?
你想跟我比一比吗
You want to play that game with me?
"我们不能看《创智赢家》了因为你觉得
"We can't watch Shark Tank anymore because you think
我所有的发明都很蠢"
all my inventions are stupid."
"我知道现在是凌晨三点你睡得很香
"I know it's 3:00 in the morning and you're sound asleep,
但你为什么讨厌我的脚"
but why do you hate my feet?"
是的那场争吵持续到天明
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That fight greeted the dawn.
好
Okay, okay.
"浴室里有其他牌子的女用剃毛刀
"There's a different brand of women's razor in the shower.
你跟谁睡了"
Who are you sleeping with?"
天啊我的膝盖发软了
Oh, my God, my knees just buckled.
你说了什么
What'd you say?
我说我没跟任何人睡但如果我睡了
I said I'm not sleeping with anyone, but if I were,
那女人肯定足够聪明会在自己家刮腿毛
she'd be smart enough to shave her legs at her place.
邦妮对此的回应是
To which Bonnie replied,
"现在你觉得我不够聪明了吗"
"Oh, so now you don't think I'm smart enough?"
太可怕了
I mean, that-that-that's terrifying.
我还意识到我一直买♥♥的都是女用剃毛刀
I also realized that I've been buying women's razors this whole time.
上菜
Order up.