极品老妈

Mom S08E01

Part 3 Nov. 9, 2020, 7 p.m.

天啊
Oh, God.
是你♥爸♥爸吗
Is that your dad?
不是家得宝的员工
No, it's this guy who works at Home Depot--
他喜欢跟我说骚话
he likes to talk dirty to me.
史蒂夫我回头给你打过去吧
Hey, Steve. I got to call you back.
不你才是荡♥妇♥ 得挂了
No, you're a whore. Gotta go.
吉尔轮到你了真心话还是大冒险
Okay, Jill, your turn. Truth or dare?
真心话吧
Um, truth, please.
你和安迪一周做几次爱
How many times a week do you and Andy have sex?
12到15次
12 to 15.
-天啊 -真的吗 -你骗人
- Oh, my God! - Seriously? - You lie!
我一年都没有12次
I don't even have sex 12 times a year.
你们至少可以假装惊讶
You could at least pretend to be surprised.
等等你们不会无聊吗
Wait. Don't you get bored?
不会我们会用玩具还玩角色扮演
Nah. We mix it up with toys and role play.
我最爱的是"房♥屋参观日的高档房♥地♥产♥经纪人"
My favorite is "Upscale Realtor at a very open house."
我妈妈曾是房♥地♥产♥经纪人
My mom was a Realtor.
她以前让我在草坪上插广♥告♥牌
She used to let me stick the signs in the lawn.
我都忘了
I'd forgotten about that.
做得好吉尔
Nice work, Jill.
我怎么知道啊
How was I supposed to know?
枕头大战
Pillow fight!
你什么毛病啊
What's wrong with you?
你什么意思她在狠狠揍我
What do you mean? She was whaling on me!
是的但你真的过界了
Yeah, but you really crossed a line.
我们不打老人他们很脆弱
We don't hit our elders. They're brittle.
知道吗去你们的
You know what? Screw you guys.
别担心没人哭就不算睡衣派对
Don't worry, it's not a slumber party till somebody cries.
这场派对一下子扫兴了
Well, this party just went off a cliff.
不没事的
No, it's okay.
这时候我们该选边了
This is the part where we pick sides.
我们又不是12岁小孩我们不选边
We're not 12. We're not picking sides.
我去看看邦妮
I'm gonna go check on Bonnie.
我去看看玛乔丽
I'll check on Marjorie.
我们刚选边了但是好吧
Well, we just picked sides, but okay.
邦妮惹我生气的本事无人能及
Bonnie makes me angry in a way no one else can.
也许我用枕头打她下手太狠了
Maybe I hit her too hard with the pillow,
但一个女人只能承受这么多
but a woman can only take so much.
玛乔丽吃生的饼干面团不安全
Marjorie, it isn't safe to eat raw cookie dough.
真的吗
Seriously?
你担心饼干面团吗
You're worried about cookie dough?
我以前还吸杀虫剂呢
I used to huff bug spray.
很抱歉今晚搞砸了
I'm sorry that tonight got messed up.
我只是想让你忘掉你♥爸♥爸的事
I just wanted to keep your mind off your dad.
你做到了一点吧
It did. A little.
完全没有
Not at all.
但我很感激
But I appreciate it.
我真的不知道他打来电♥话♥时我要怎么做
I honestly don't know what I'm gonna do if he calls.
-不管你做什么决定我都支持你 -我也是
- Well, whatever you decide, I got your back. - And I got yours.
很好我跟你打赌
Good. 'Cause what do you want to bet
玛乔丽肯定在那说我的坏话
Marjorie's out there talking smack about me right now?
没有啦
No, she's not.
有的
Yes, she is.
不好意思我在窥探两边
Sorry, I've been spying on both sides.
-过来吧 -好
- Well, come on in. - Okay.
这真是一场很棒的睡衣派对
This is really turning out to be a great slumber party.
我还担心没有冷酒器和偷偷溜进来的男孩子
I was worried without wine coolers and boys sneaking in,
这会很糟糕呢
it was gonna suck.
我开始觉得
Well, I'm beginning to think
让一群酒鬼聚在一起扮少女
that getting a bunch of alcoholics together to act like teenagers
是个糟糕的主意
was a bad idea.
现在怎么做
So what now?
邦妮得出去
Well, Bonnie's got to go out there
请求玛乔丽的原谅
and beg for Marjorie's forgiveness,
等玛乔丽睡觉时
and then when Marjorie goes to sleep,
我们把她的手放进热水里好让她尿床
we have to put her hand in hot water so she pees herself.
你来定大酱
Your call, big sauce.
真是不成熟
Well, that's pretty immature.
我喜欢
I love it.
不好意思
Oops. I'm sorry.
怎么了
What's going on?
我要叫优步回家了
I'm calling an Uber and going home.
有人生气提前离开吗
Pissed off and leaving early?
你们这些女人没参加过睡衣派对
For women who have never been to a slumber party,
但真是每条都中了
you're sure checking all the boxes.
拜托
Oh, come on.
我们就不能放下这件事找点乐子吗
Can't we just let this go and have some fun?
你挑战我去吉飞润滑油然后说
How about you dare me to go to Jiffy Lube
"我不知道这是给汽车用的"怎么样
and say I didn't know it was for cars?
塔米我明天给你烤个蛋糕
Tammy, I'll bake you a cake tomorrow
我们会庆祝
and we'll celebrate.
我也要走了
Actually, I think I'm gonna go, too.
也许今晚就到此为止吧
Maybe we should just call it a night.
我们还没说服谁剪头发呢
We haven't even talked anybody into cutting their hair yet.
大家哪里都不准去
Nobody is going anywhere.
-喂 -我不想听邦妮
- Hey! - I don't want to hear it, Bonnie.
你什么毛病啊
What is wrong with you?
你为什么要当一个爱发牢骚脾气暴躁
Why are you being such a grouchy, grumpy,
买♥♥杂货店蛋糕的讨厌鬼
grocery-store-cake-buying sourpuss?
我医生告诉我
My doctor told me
我心脏有问题
that I have something wrong with my heart.
我好爱你
I love you so much.
你必须长命百岁
You have to live forever.
放下肉干
Put your meat sticks down.
玛乔丽需要心脏移植
Marjorie needs a heart transplant.
不不是那样的
No. It's nothing like that.
我需要在现在的心脏里植入支架
I need a stent put in my existing heart.
-天啊 -太可怕了
- Oh, my God. - That's so awful.
但那也不是对你下重手的原因
But still, that was no excuse for hitting you like that.
邦妮对不起
Bonnie, I'm sorry.
我想我只是没意识到我有多害怕
I guess I just didn't realize how afraid I am.
我原谅你我也不会趁你睡觉时
I forgive you. And I won't make you pee yourself
让你尿床
when you fall asleep.
-什么 -什么
- What? - What?
你为什么不告诉我们
Why didn't you tell us?
今天是塔米的生日我不想毁了它
'Cause it's Tammy's birthday-- I didn't want to ruin it.
说真的没什么好毁的
Honestly, there's no ruining it.
我自己一整晚都惊慌失措
I've been freaked out myself all night long.
每次手♥机♥一响我的心跳都停了
Every time my phone makes a noise, my heart stops.
抱歉玛乔丽
Sorry, Marjorie.
新游戏
New game.
没事的吉尔时机已过
It's okay, Jill-- that ship has sailed.
不这游戏叫害怕小桶
Nope. This one's called Fear Bucket.
我刚编的
I just made it up.
这本来是玩你画我猜的但我要挪用了
Ah. These were for Pictionary, but I'm gonna pivot.
写下你最深的恐惧
Write down your deepest fears,
然后我们烧掉它们让它们失去力量
and we are gonna set 'em on fire so they lose their power.
要写♥真♥心话
Be honest.
不能是"我害怕玛乔丽会死"
And they can't all be: "I'm afraid Marjorie's gonna die."
我害怕在工作中犯错
"I'm afraid of making a mistake at work
伤害到别人
and hurting someone."
我害怕
"I'm afraid
如果我不接我爸的电♥话♥ 我会后悔
"If I don't take my dad's call, I'm gonna regret it,
我害怕如果我接了
"And I'm afraid if I answer the call,
就会背叛我妈
I'll be betraying my mother."
我害怕安迪和我一直做♥爱♥
"I'm afraid Andy and I are having so much sex
是因为我们没什么可聊的
because we have nothing to talk about."
我害怕我看不到
"I'm afraid I'm not going to get to see
我孙女长大
my granddaughter grow up."
我害怕蜘蛛
"I'm afraid of spiders."