极品老妈

Mom S08E02

Part 2 March 1, 2021, 11 a.m.

About that, um, I made a little, tiny boo-boo error.
我想捐五百但我忘加小数点了
Um, I meant to donate $500, but I forgot the decimal point.
我真傻
Silly me.
如果你能转我四万九千五
Um, so, if you could just shoot me back $49,500,
我会很感激的
I would be so appreciative.
你想要回钱吗
You're asking for your money back?
不不是我想捐的钱
No, not the money I intended to give,
只是我不想捐的钱
just the money I did not intend to give.
五百块全归你们了
Um, the $500 is all yours.
别花在同一个地方
Don't spend it all in one place.
或者花在这个地方
Or do. This place.
好
Okay.
五百块也很慷慨
$500 is very generous
我们能用这钱做很多事
and we can do a lot with it.
抱歉打扰但女孩们想为
Sorry to interrupt, but the girls would like
肯德尔女士唱首歌♥ 感谢她的捐助
to perform a song to thank Miss Kendall for her donation.
-别唱了 -嗯别唱了
- No song. - Yeah, no song.
你觉得他们会怎么做邦妮
What do you think they're gonna do, Bonnie?
他们会爱上还是售出[老屋翻新节目]
Think they're gonna love it or think they're gonna list it?
如果换我我会售出
If it was me, I'd list it.
天啊 "如果换我"
Oh, my God. "If it was me."
我变成加里了
I'm turning into Gary.
别再装睡了
Stop pretending to be asleep.
那你就回家啊
Well, then, go home.
不家里有加里
No. Home is where the Gary is.
他没那么差啦
Oh, he's not that bad.
你和他只吃了一餐我和他待了三天
You've had one lunch with him. I've had three days.
你知道我开信的方法都错了吗
Did you know I open my mail wrong?
"你应该从边上撕
"You're supposed to do it on the end
这样就不会意外撕烂支票"
so you don't accidentally rip a check."
这建议不赖
That's not bad advice.
对但我可没对他说
Yeah, but I didn't say to him,
"加里能给我提点开信建议吗"
"Hey, Gary, any thoughts on how I open my mail?"
我告诉你你连五分钟都受不了他
I'm telling you, you wouldn't last five minutes with the guy.
接受挑战
Challenge accepted.
亚当和我周六要和他吃晚餐
Adam and I are having dinner with them on Saturday.
天啊为什么
Oh, God, why?
因为她是我朋友她有上百万岁了
Because she's my friend, and she's a million years old
而且还找到了一个上百万岁的
and she found herself a million-year-old fella
喜欢她的男人
who's into her.
我觉得这值得我支持一下
I think that's worthy of my support.
说到支持[支撑]
Well, speaking of support,
加里会对你的胸罩提些见解
Gary's gonna have a few thoughts on that bra of yours.
不猥琐只是关于材料的建议
Nothing creepy, just advice about materials.
所以邦妮和我要像离婚夫妇一样
So are Bonnie and I just gonna share you
轮流养你直到加里离开吗
like divorced parents until Gary leaves?
说实话我对他越友善
Honestly, the more I try to be nice to him,
我就越有点想杀掉他
the more I want to a little bit murder him.
这女孩真可爱
Mm-hmm. Aw, that girl's adorable.
这是那个你要走了四万九千五的慈善组织吗
Is this the charity you took $49,500 from?
我更喜欢说捐了五百块的慈善组织
I prefer to see the glass as $500 full.
我只是在调侃五百块很多了
I'm just teasing. 500 bucks is a lot.
这给她们的科学实验室
It gets them two new computers
买♥♥了两台新电脑
for their science lab.
看一千块捐款能让
And look, a thousand dollar donation
二十个女孩获得课外辅♥导♥
gets 20 girls after-school tutoring.
把钱分享给更不幸的人
It feels so good to share with the less fortunate
比总想着自己感觉好多了
instead of always thinking about me, me, me.
我没有杯子啊
Hey, I didn't get a mug.
五百块能送个杯子我的杯子呢
$500 is mug level. Where's my mug?
"励志女孩计划为高危女孩
Oh. "The Inspired Girl Project provides programs,
提供项目资源和导师
"resources and mentors to at-risk girls
以让她们成长为有力量的女人"
so they can grow into empowered women."
好吧我不要杯子了
Fine, I'll let the mug go.
知道吗很多这些女孩都在寄养系统里
You know, a lot of these girls are in the foster system.
当年要有这个我的生活都会改变
Man, this would've been a game changer for me.
音乐营
Music camp?
我现在早成专业笛者了
I'd be a professional flutist by now.
笛手
Flautist.
随便怎么叫我当笛手早赚大发了
Well, whatever, I'd be rolling in flautist money.
然后我会给这个慈善组织捐款
Then I could make a donation to this charity
我可不会要回来
and I'd actually let them keep it.
我的鱼很美味你的饭菜呢
Mmm. My fish is delicious. How's your dinner?
我不知道我几乎找不到这里太黑了
I don't know, I can barely find it, it's so dark in here.
找到了
Oh, there it is.
你做什么工作加里
So, what do you do, Gary?
我当了38年中学副校长
I was a middle school vice principal 38 years.
他退休后他们以他命名了一个快餐厅
When he retired, they named a snack bar after him.
你的肉排怎么了
What is going on with your steak?
你点的是三分熟看起来像疱疹
You ordered medium rare. It looks like a shingle.
没关系
It's fine.
-服务员 -加里他说没关系
- Waiter, waiter. - Gary, he says it's okay.
我不会让他吃这个
Well, I am not letting him eat that.
有问题吗
Is there a problem?
你告诉我有没有
Well, you tell me.
我朋友的牛排太熟了
My friend's steak here is so overdone
我都能用它打冰球了
I could play hockey with it.
加里当过守门员
Gary was a goalie.
对不起先生我们再做一份
I'm sorry, sir. We'll make another.
只用等二十分钟
It'll only be 20 minutes.
三分熟要做二十分钟
20 minutes for medium rare?
如果换我我会说十二分钟
You know, if it was me, I'd try 12.
那我们吃饭时亚当就坐在这里吗
So Adam's just gonna sit here while we eat?
我没事再来一杯威士忌
I'm fine. I'll take another Scotch.
我想跟你一起喝的次数很少
There's so few times I wish I could join you.
这就是其中一次
This is one of them.
纪念日快乐
Happy anniversary.
等等你刚说什么
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What'd you just say?
结婚纪念日吗
Anniversary?
是的
Yeah.
我不知道是今天
I did not realize it was today.
恭喜
Congratulations.
你们结婚多久了
How long you been married?
一年
One year.
如此重要的日子你们居然和我们过吗
And you're spending it with us?
我在结婚一周年纪念日时带我老婆去了夏威夷
You know, my first anniversary, I took my wife to Hawaii.
每天都有自助早餐
Breakfast buffet every day.
我们不想大张旗鼓
We didn't want to make it a thing.
我要大张旗鼓了
Well, I am making it a thing.
各位
Everybody.
敬酒
A toast.
祝邦妮结婚纪念日快乐还有...
Happy anniversary to Bonnie, and...
你叫什么来着
what was it?
亚当很难记
Adam. It's hard to remember
因为这是第一个男人的名字
'cause it was the first name ever.
我们玩得很开心
We had a great time!
下次再约
Let's do it again!
他们还能看见我们
They can still see us,
如果你要说坏话
so if you're gonna say something negative,
那就笑着说
just do it with a smile.
他是我全世界最不喜欢的人
He's my least favorite person on the planet.
刚有机会轧死他但我没把握
Just had a chance to run him over. Didn't take it.
如果是我我会做的
If it was me, I would have done it.
他好大的胆子
The nerve of that guy,
告诉我白巧克力不是真的巧克力
telling me white chocolate isn't real chocolate.
别烦我威利·旺卡
Get off my jock, Willy Wonka.
邦妮他教我怎么操作我的轮椅
Bonnie, he told me how to operate my wheelchair.
好了
Okay, okay.
加里是她新男友
Gary is her new boyfriend.
我们不能再说他坏话了
We've got to stop bad-mouthing him.
你说得对