极品老妈

Mom S08E02

Part 1 March 1, 2021, 11 a.m.

你还好吗
How you doing over there?
我很好非常好
I'm good. Really good.
你有很多值得自豪的
You have a lot to be proud of.
那当然乔治城法学院
Damn right. Georgetown Law School
全额奖学金
on a full scholarship.
每个老妈都梦想有一天
Every mom dreams of the day when they drop
能送42岁的女儿去机场上学
their 42-year-old daughter off at the airport to go to school.
你为什么要当一个爱发牢骚脾气暴躁
Why are you being such a grouchy, grumpy,
买♥♥杂货店蛋糕的讨厌鬼
grocery-store-cake-buying sourpuss?
我医生告诉我
My doctor told me
我心脏有问题
that I have something wrong with my heart.
你周六有安排吗
You got plans for Saturday?
我要调换车胎
I'm gonna get my tires rotated.
那当然
Yeah, you are.
话到你嘴里都变色了
You can make anything dirty.
那当然
Yeah, I can.
我还要花点时间嘲笑你
I'm also gonna devote part of my day to mocking you
忘了我们的结婚纪念日
for forgetting our wedding anniversary.
天啊是周六吗
Oh, my God, it's Saturday?
我们坚持了一整年
We made it to a year.
可恶我输了温蒂一百块
Damn it! I owe Wendy a hundred bucks.
你赌我们会离吗
You bet against us?
是啊我想着如果我们离了
Yeah, 'cause I figured if we got divorced,
至少我能有一百块新生活起步资金
at least I'd have a hundred bucks to jump-start my new life.
我们要互送礼物吗
Are we gonna do gifts?
-我们... -我告诉你为什么不该送
- We... - Let me tell you why we're not.
起了这个头以后每年都得送更好的礼物
This one sets the bar, then every year it's got to be a little better,
最终会失控的
and eventually it just spins out of control.
你知道五十周年纪念日
Did you know that on the 50th anniversary,
人们会互送真的黄金吗
people give each other actual gold?
我110岁时可不需要买♥♥黄金
I don't need to be shopping for gold at 110.
但我们至少互送个贺卡吧
But let's at least do a card.
真的吗贺卡
Really? A card?
嗯如果不送那我们等于只是室友
Yeah, well, I-if we don't do that, we're just roommates.
我们不是室友我们还要上♥床♥呢
No, we're not. We're gonna have sex.
这倒是真的上♥床♥就等于送卡了
That's true. Sex is our card.
而你可以舔信封
And you can lick the envelope.
-你要去哪 -哪也不去我只是觉得
- Where are you going? - Nowhere, I just felt like
说这话时应该让你看着我的翘臀
you should be watching my ass as I said that.
你的钱包在哪我需要一百块
Where's your wallet? I need a hundred bucks.
-玛乔丽酒瘾者 -玛乔丽
- Marjorie, alcoholic. - Hi, Marjorie.
如你们所知我刚在心脏里植入了支架
As you know, I just had a stent put into my heart
我感觉相当好但这让我意识到了
and I'm feeling pretty great, but it got me thinking
我应该抓紧行乐
that I need to put more carpe into my diem.
所以
So...
我邀请我的朋友加里来看我
I invited my friend Gary to come visit.
我们几个月前
We bumped into each other
在芝加哥的戒瘾大会上遇见了对方
at a sober convention in Chicago a few months ago
在那之后我们一直在发短♥信♥
and we've been texting ever since.
韦恩怎么了
What happened to Wayne?
他还没出局
He's still in the picture.
这就像一集《河谷镇》
It's like an episode of Riverdale.
通常我很慢热但何必呢
Normally I take things very slow, but why?
我喜欢他他喜欢我我每周都会长出新痣
I like him, he likes me, I have new moles every week,
直接干柴烈火吧
let's light this candle.
谢谢
Thanks.
痣真有那么危险吗
Are moles really that dangerous?
是的应该直接叫它们癌点
Oh, yeah, they should just call them cancer dots.
-邦妮酒瘾者 -邦妮
- Bonnie, alcoholic. - Hi, Bonnie.
如果你们不确定互助会是否管用
If you're wondering if this program works,
我只想说我已经结婚一整年了
I just want to say I have been married for a whole year.
天啊我赢了一百块
Oh, my God, I won a hundred bucks.
天啊我全身都是癌点
Oh, my God, I'm covered in cancer dots.
极品老妈
第八季第二集
我讨厌坐在桌子旁
I hate it when we sit at the tables.
椅子总是摇摇晃晃
The chairs are all wibbly-wobbly.
我们需要更大的桌子玛乔丽要带加里来
We need the extra room. Marjorie's bringing Gary.
她很期待我不得不点评了她的三件睡衣
She's so excited, I had to give my opinion on three nightgowns.
法兰绒还有三种吗
There's three kinds of flannel?
只有一件是法兰绒的
Only one was flannel.
其中一件我觉得是粗麻布
One was, I think, burlap.
还有一件挑逗的领口都降到这里了
And there was a racy one with a neckline down to here.
女士们
Hi, ladies.
这是加里
This is Gary.
-加里 -加里
- Hi, Gary. - Hi, Gary.
温蒂邦妮塔米和吉尔
Wendy, Bonnie, Tammy and Jill.
很高兴名字终于对上脸了
Great to put some faces with the names.
你的航♥班♥旅途如何
How was your flight?
对我来说飞行员飞得有点低但我还是到了
Pilot was flying a little low for my taste, but I'm here.
加里啊
Oh, Gary.
这好笑吗
That was, that was funny?
也许他在桌子下面对她动手动脚了
Maybe he's doing something to her under the table.
塔米你是杂工对吗
So, Tammy, you're the handyman, right?
工作如何
How's that going?
非常好我其实快要买♥♥第一辆卡车了
Going great. I'm actually about to buy my first truck.
真的吗在这种经济环境下
Really? In this economy?
如果换我我会等六个月
If it were me, I'd give it six months.
谢谢加里
Hmm. Thanks, Gary.
我是说你投入太多
I mean, you know, you get in too deep,
转眼之间你就住在卡车里了
and before you know it, you're living in that truck.
我说了"谢谢加里"
I said, "Thanks, Gary."
你是那个手♥机♥长在手上的人
Ooh, you're the one with the phone permanently attached.
我不想无礼我只是在给一个
Oh, I don't mean to be rude, I'm just making a quick donation
弱势女孩的慈善组织快速捐款
to a charity for underprivileged girls.
他们在Ins上的广♥告♥触动了我的心
They had an ad on Instagram that got me right in the feels.
如果换我我是不会网捐的
If it were me, I wouldn't go online.
对风险太大写张支票就好
Yeah, it's too risky. Just write a check.
如果说我有什么擅长的事
If there's one thing I'm good at,
那就是在网上烧钱
it's spending money online.
不我不是机器人
No, I'm not a robot.
红绿灯红绿灯红绿灯
Traffic light, traffic light, traffic light.
你为什么穿毛衣
Why are you wearing a sweater?
简讯你住在加州
News flash, you live in California.
我冷嘛
I'm chilly.
加里你有没有想过当一个人生导师
Gary, have you ever thought of being a life coach?
不我不喜欢多管别人闲事
Nah, I don't like sticking my nose in other people's business.
你准备好点单了吗
You ready to order?
好了我要个烤芝士三明治
Yes, I'll have a grilled cheese.
心脏不好还点
With your bum ticker?
如果换我我会点希腊沙拉
If it was me, I'd get the Greek salad.
加里啊
Oh, Gary.
希腊沙拉
Greek salad.
你照顾我的方式真贴心
It's sweet the way you look out for me.
-天啊 -怎么了
- Oh, my God. - What?
五万我只想捐五百
$50,000? I only meant to donate $500.
写支票就不会出这事芝士牛堡三明治
Wouldn't have happened with a check. Patty melt?
芭比吉尔·肯德尔来拜访了
Hey, Bobbi, Jill Kendall is here to say hello.
老天啊
Oh, my goodness.
很高兴见到你
It is such a pleasure to meet you.
你是我的英雄
You're my hero.
请坐
Oh! Please, sit down.
抱歉我没有提前预约
Uh, sorry I didn't make an appointment.
你在开玩笑吗你捐了五万
Oh, are you kidding? You gave $50,000.
你想凌晨两点来都行
You can come at 2:00 in the morning if you want.
关于这事...
About that...
你完全想不到你的钱
You have no idea how much your money
会给女孩们多大帮助
is gonna help these girls.
这是励志女孩计划收到的
This is the largest donation the Inspired Girl Project
最大的一笔捐款
has ever received.
关于这事我犯了一个小小的错误