杰茜驾到（2011）

New Girl S02E22

Part 2 Nov. 20, 2020, 3 p.m.

I'm fine to take a peek. That's too much.
我可以效劳这有点过了
Don't make me call your wife.
别逼我打给你妻子
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
天呐天呐
Cece's here. Everybody assume surprise positions!
希希来了大家装作惊喜状
She's coming. Cece'soming.
她要来了希希来了
I don't get what's happening.
我不知道发生了神马
I'm just gonna run upstairs
我就上楼找杰茜
and quickly grab a CD from Jess.
拿张光盘速速就回
I'll come, too. That's okay. I... I'll be really fast.
我也去吧不用我很快的
I want to see what your friends are like.
我想看看你的朋友是什么样
Have fun. Okay.
玩的开心点好吧
It's gonna be great. It's just Jess. Okay.
会很好的只有杰茜好
Bye.
再见
I-I'll be right here.
我就在这里
Hey, Nick. Sorry, I thought you were Jane Lynch.
尼克我还以为你是简·林奇
Jane Lynch. Nice...
简·林奇好吧
Nice wheels, man. Yeah, thank you.
车不错伙计谢谢
I'm a bit of a car man myself. Well,
我本身就比较懂车
You know I decided to... Right on. Good for you.
我打算... 好极了不错啊
go for some...
去...
Winston! Oh, take the car. Take the car.
温斯顿占领这辆车占领车
I'm gonna beat your ass with an athletic stick, boy!
我要用棒球棍打你屁♥股♥ 兄弟
Winston! Winston!
温斯顿温斯顿
Jess said to kidnap him, so that's what I'm doing.
杰茜说要绑♥架♥他我正在做这事
It's a figure of speech, you idiot.
那是一种修辞笨蛋
You nervous? Uhhuh.
你紧张吗当然
Surprise! Surprise!
惊喜哟
It's your bachelorette party!
这是你的单身派对
Jess, I...
杰茜我...
Love it? I know.
喜欢吧我知道
Complete with your favorite game,
全是你最爱的游戏
Pin the Dong on the Shivrang!
射施拉的小♥弟♥弟♥
Pin the dong! Pin the dong!
射弟弟射弟弟
Oh. Hello. Oh.
你好
Um, Jess, this is Ankita-ji,
杰茜这是安吉塔·吉
Shivrang's aunt all the way from India.
施拉从印度来的阿姨
Hello.
你好
Ankita-ji, this is Jess,
安吉塔·吉这是杰茜
my non-blood related best friend.
我非血亲闺蜜
Welcome... to California.
欢迎来到加州
May I please use your restroom?
我能用下你的厕所么
I need to wash my hands.
我要洗下手
Yes, of course. It's down the hall. Um, also
当然就在走廊尽头
there's a very sexually aggressive message on the mirror
镜子上还有一个非常性感的标语
and I apologize for that.
我很抱歉
Pin the dong. Pin it. I can't.
射小♥弟♥弟♥ 我做不到
Come on, Cece. Get the bull's-eye.
拜托希希正中红心
I haven't seen Shivrang's penis.
我还没见过施拉的小♥弟♥弟♥
It's that small?
有那么小啊
You still know where it goes though.
你还是知道它在哪吧
Just hit me. I'm about to commit the rest of my life
打我吧我就要把我的下半辈子
to a man that I have never seen naked.
献给一个我从没看过裸体的男人
Cece, chances are he has, like,
希希他的小♥弟♥弟♥
a standard garden-variety penis.
有可能很普通的
And if we're all really honest with ourselves,
如果我们都对自己诚实
isn't it all about the gonads?
其实一切都是为了那家伙
Am I right, ladies? No. No.
对吧女士们不
I'm trying to make her feel better.
我在试着让她好受些
And Ankita cannot hear anything about this, all right?
安吉塔不能知道这些听到没
She will not understand. You guys have to promise
她不会明白你们要保证
to keep it G-rated tonight.
今晚没有任何限制级活动
Cece, you've dreamt of this party your whole life.
希希这是你梦想了一辈子的派对
I wouldn't want to change it.
我不想改变它
No. Really?
不真的吗
I can't. Really?
我不能真的吗
I can't.
我做不到
Okay.
好吧
Cece, what if it looks like an old carrot?
希希如果它看起来像萝卜干呢
What if it's curly?
如果是弯的呢
Oh, God. If he's using it right,
天啊如果他用的没错
no one's seeing his penis.
没人见得到他的小♥弟♥弟♥
Okay, I'm gonna fix this.
好吧我会搞定的
So, if Jess is throwing Cece a surprise bachelorette party,
如果杰茜在给希希办惊喜单身派对
does that make this my surprise bachelor party?
这是我的惊喜单身派对吗
You shut that pretty mouth of yours, Romeo,
闭上你的嘴罗密欧
before I fill it with fire!
在我往里面点火之前
Hey, you gotta ease up, Winston.
你得冷静点温斯顿
I got to go.
我离开一下
Oh, no, no, no. I got a call.
不不我去接电♥话♥
No, don't. Please.
拜托别走
I need a picture of Shivrang's penis.
我需要一张施拉小♥弟♥弟♥的照片
Dead Dad Pass! New topic!
亡父特权换话题
Cece's really freaking out.
希希真的害怕极了
She hasn't seen his penis. For the love of God,
她还没见过他的小弟老天爷啊
Dead Dad Pass.
亡父特权
And I need it to scale,
要看得出它的大小
so please put, like,
所以拜托你
a nickel or a big toe
放个硬币或者大拇趾
or a golf pencil in there for reference.
或者铅笔什么的参照物
It's not gonna happen!
这不可能
One picture and you can come home.
给我一张照片你就能回家
Give me 20 minutes.
给我20分钟
If you want to end this,
如果你要结束这些
we need to get a photo of Shivrang's penis.
我们需要一张施拉小♥弟♥弟♥的照片
There it is. Cool.
就这样行
Hey, Shivrang! We're liars, man!
施拉我们之前是骗你的兄弟
We are throwing you
我们确实给你办了
a good old-fashioned American bachelor party!
一个非常老式的美国单身派对
Bachelor party! Yeah!
单身派对
Whoa! Whoa! Hey! What are you... Stop.
你要干什么打住
What is wrong with you?!
你有毛病吧
I know.
我知道
Why don't we talk about some of the things
要不我们谈谈
that we love about Shivrang?
我们喜欢施拉的原因吧
I'll start. Um...
我来开头
he has really good taste in magazines. This sucks!
他选杂♥志♥很有品味太烂了
Boring! So lame.
无聊烂透了
Jess, let's put in the slideshow that you made for Cece.
杰茜放你为希希做的幻灯片吧
No, I don't think that's a good idea.
这不是个好主意
Yes! Time for porn cinema. No!
是的到了黄♥片♥时间不
Oh, my God, no!
我的天啊不
Oh, my God. No. Guys, guys...
我的天啊伙计们不要
How are we gonna get a picture of Shivrang's junk?
我们怎么才能照到施拉的小♥弟♥弟♥
Well, spoiler alert:
剧透警告
women are liars. Yeah. Yeah.
女人都是谎言家没错
They're supposed to want commitment, right?
她们都想要承诺对吧
But then I offer it to them on a silver platter
当我用银盘子献给她们时
and they throw it back in my face like a comedy pie.
她们像喜剧里一样扔到我脸上
I know this is awkward because we slept together,
我知道这很尴尬因为我们滚过床单
and I never returned
而且我从不回复
any of your phone calls,
你的电♥话♥
so this might come as a shock to you,
所以这也许会令你惊讶
but... will you be my girlfriend?
但是你能做我的女友吗
Oh, God.
谢天谢地
I thought you had herpes.
我以为你得了疱疹
But no to the girlfriend, you dick.
但我不能做你女友你个混♥蛋♥
Do you remember two years ago
你还记得两年前
when we were watching coverage of the BP oil spill
我们看英国石油泄漏新闻时
and doing it during the commercials
在广♥告♥时间做♥爱♥
and then you asked me if I wanted a serious relationship
你问我是否想要一段认真的关系