杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S02E05
Part 2
Nov. 20, 2020, 2:55 p.m.
Because we're friends, we're not animals.
因为咱俩是朋友 不是动物
We're men, Schmidt!
我们是爷们 施密特
The only time a man is allowed to think
一个爷们想着另一个爷们只可能
about another man is when that man is Jay Cutler.
想另一个男人 那个男人只能是杰·卡特
I don't know who Jay Cutler is!
我不知道谁是卡特勒
Why are you saying "Cutler" Like that?
你怎么这么读卡特的名字
And I also don't know what is allowed
我还不懂你尼克·米勒的冷血王国
in the Cold-Hearted Republic of Nick Miller,
能有什么是被允许的
but I do know how I feel.
但我知道自己的感受
Ugh! And I know how much you love cookies.
呕 我知道你多爱甜品
And I saw it there behind the glass,
我看到玻璃后面的甜品
and I thought, "Nick Miller-- I'm gonna buy him that."
我想 "尼克·米勒 我要给他买♥♥"
If I could give you that cookie back, I would.
如果能把饼干还给你 我会的
Nothing would make me happier than to throw it up,
我最想做的就是把它吐出来
mash it into cookie-shape, and shove it down your throat!
捏成饼干的样子 然后塞进你的喉咙
You wanna mamabird me the cookie? No, that's not...
你想嚼碎了喂我吃饼干吗 不 不是
You wanna mamabird me the cookie? No.
你想嚼碎了喂我 不
You're not mama-birding anybody any cookie.
你对任何人都不能这样
Schmidt, I don't want to mama-bird you a cookie.
施密特 我不是想嚼碎饼干喂你
What is your problem, Schmidt?
你什么毛病 施密特
No mama-birding here!
不许嚼碎了喂
Okay, I think I got it, okay--
好吧 我明白了 好了
Monkey, monkey,Where you keep your cracker?
猴子 猴子 哪儿藏着你的小饼干
Monkey, monkey, you are comrade best!
猴子 猴子 你是个好好小伙伴
Whoo. You know what?
哇哦 你们知道吗
The dance is surprisingly sexual for a children's cracker.
这个舞对于儿童饼干来说太骚
Do song again. "Dance Monkey." I don't want to dance...
再唱一遍 "舞蹈猴" 我不想跳
"Dance Monkey."
"舞蹈猴"
Monkey, monkey,Where you keep your crackers?
猴子 猴子 哪儿藏着你的小饼干
Dance monkey, dance monkey. - Cracker, please!
舞蹈猴 舞蹈猴 -饼干 拜托
Dance monkey. Cracker, please!
舞蹈猴 饼干 拜托了
Monkey! Monkey! No. You know what?
猴子 猴子 不要 你们知道吗
Monkey! Monkey!
猴子 猴子
Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!
猴子 猴子 猴子
Monkey, monkey, monkey!
猴子 猴子 猴子
Dance Monkey... You know what?
舞蹈猴 你们听着
No! Stop it!
不要 闭嘴
I don't want to, okay? I'm done.
我不想跳 好吗 我不干了
You guys are the worst!
你们这帮人太差劲了
You're the worst. I'm sorry, but it's true.
你们太差劲了 很抱歉 但是确实是这样
All these racist in-jokes about Romanians.
所有这些歧视罗马尼亚人的团体小笑话
Well, guess what? I'm one-eighth Romanian!
哈 你猜怎么着 我有八分之一罗马血统
Monkey, no! And I don't know
不要啊 猴子 我不知道为什么
why Cece would want to spend her birthday here.
希希想在这儿过生日
It's like years of modeling have made her dumber.
几年模特生涯让她越变越白♥痴♥
Nice, Jess. No! Cece.
不错啊 杰茜 不 希希
No, I'm sorry. I didn't...
不是的 抱歉 我不是
It's official.
正式通知
We got to turtle-proof this loft.
我们要证明这间公♥寓♥可以养乌龟
Schmidt cares about you so much, man,
施密特很关心你 兄弟
and you don't even think about him.
可你甚至不会想他
Are you being serious right now?
你是认真的吗
Are you really taking Schmidt's side on this?
你这件事真的站在施密特那边吗
I am, because I know how you are.
是的 因为我太清楚你的为人了
I just don't know why he would run away.
我真不明白为什么他会跑开
All I ever did was love him.
我好爱他
This rock is so round.
这个石头好圆呀
I'm gonna go put it in a jar.
我要把它放在罐子里
And nothing has changed. Nothing has changed, Nick.
你一点都没变 一点都没有 尼克
You think Schmidt is in the right,
你觉得施密特是对的
and I am in the wrong here?
我是错的吗
You realize I say good night to you every night,
你意识到了吗 我每天都跟你说晚安
and you never say good night back?
但你从来没有对我说过
No. What is the problem, Nick?
不 你怎么回事儿 尼克
Do you not want me to have a good night?
难道你不希望我晚安吗
I can't just go around saying good night to everyone,
我不可能四处走一圈然后对每个人说晚安
and buying people cookies.
给每个人买♥♥饼干
I am not a titan of finance, sir.
我没有金山银山 先生
Do you know, once a week he goes into your room and cleans it,
你知不知道 他每个星期进你房♥间打扫一次
and then returns everything the way he found it?
然后把东西归回原位
And I'm weird in this situation?
你知不知道 我觉得这事很诡异
The dirty old T-shirts, which he washes.
他还替你洗脏了的旧衬衫
I didn't ask for that-- I like living in my filthy messes.
我没叫他洗 我喜欢周围脏兮兮的
That's the point, man. You didn't have to ask.
这不是重点 哥们 你不需要叫
Nobody buys people cookies for no reason.
没人会无缘无故给别人买♥♥饼干
You still don't get it, do you?
你还是不明白 是吗
Nobody. That wasn't a cookie, damn it! That was a...
没人 那不仅仅是饼干 妈的 那是
What? Man, that was a piece of his heart.
是什么 弟兄 那是他的心意
Now, if you don't mind, good... night.
现在 如果你不介意的话 晚安
I'm sorry, but in my defense, Nadia just spent an hour
对不起 听我解释 娜迪亚花了一个小时
explaining to me how to drink vodka with my butt.
跟我解释怎么用屁♥股♥喝伏特加
You just embarrassed me in front of my colleagues.
你刚在我同事前面给我难堪
Are you kidding me? It's not like you work in the UN.
你开什么玩笑 你又不是在联♥合♥国♥工作
You judge me for being a model.
你批判我的职业
Yes, I do. You always have.
是的 你一直这样
It's your birthday, and you won't eat cake.
今天是你生日 你不吃蛋糕
Cece, you're better than that; you really are.
希希 你可以做的更好 真的可以
I just... I just feel sorry for you sometimes.
我只是有的时候替你觉得惋惜
You feel sorry for me?
你替我觉得惋惜
You just hit me in the boob.
你打我胸
It was an accident. It was not an accident.
意外而已 不是意外
Fine. It wasn't.
好吧 不是意外
Oh... my... God!
我 的 神 呐
What? Huh?
怎样 哼
You want that?!
你想这样吗
Go. Just go.
走 你走吧
What you gonna do now, huh?
你能怎么着 哼
Just... What?
我就 怎样
What? What? What? What?
怎样 怎样 怎样 怎样
What? What? What?
怎样 怎样 怎样
You should go.
你还是走吧
Thanks for a great birthday.
谢谢你替我过了个好生日
Cece?
希希
You drink with mouth?
你用嘴喝吗
Tonight, I drink with mouth.
今晚 我用嘴喝
Well, guess who's not getting a turtle?
好吧 猜猜谁的乌龟没啦
They were out of turtles.
他们卖♥♥完了
I bought a tiny cowboy hat for nothing.
我白白买♥♥了个牛仔帽啊
Schmidt's not talking to you right now. We're still on this?
施密特不跟你讲话 你们还在纠结这个
Schmidt is tired of doing things for you that go unnoticed.
施密特已经厌倦了当你的保姆
things like lining your shoes up at the door...
比如 把你门口的鞋子排好
Don't line my shoes up at the door any more.
再也不要帮我把门口的鞋子排好
...Recording your favorite TV shows... I appreciate that.
替你录你喜欢的电视节目 我很感激
...The turndown service. The turndown service is weird
还帮你收拾房♥间 这个很诡异好不好
And I never asked you to do that.
而且我从没要你那么做
Well, I guess those chocolate mints
哈 那我估计我放的那些巧克力薄荷糖
Just disappeared on their own.
是自己不见了的
Oh, I thought we weren't talking.
喔 我以为我们不讲话了
We're not. Then why do I hear words
不讲 那我为什么听到
Coming out that stupid hole in your face?
你鼻子下面的破洞里有声音传出来
I'm a human being, and I'm entitled to my emotions.
我是个人 我有权表达自己的感情
Are you crying?
你哭了吗
No.
没有
Are you seriously crying, Schmidt?
你真的是在哭吗 施密特
I'm not crying.
我没有哭
Rough night, you guys.
昨晚真难受
I forgot to take out my contacts.
我忘记摘隐形眼镜了
I think they're fused to my eyeballs.
我觉得他们融到眼球里去了
What's going on?
怎么了
Did you guys watch porn together again?
你们又一起看黄♥片♥了吗
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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