杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S02E01
Part 2
Nov. 20, 2020, 2:52 p.m.
Don't make me work for you. You can have everything else.
别让我给你工作 其他事随便你选
Come on, man. You're perfect.
哥们 你是最完美的人选
You bring the heat, but you're not
你能带来热力 同时你的外貌
a threat in the looks department.
也不会造成我的威胁
I get that, actually.
我懂你的意思
And only you can make those fruity drinks that
当年也只有你才能调出让女生
used to make the girls lose their minds in college.
神魂颠倒的水果鸡尾酒
Fine, I'll do it, but I'm not making those drinks.
我答应你 不过我不会调那种饮料的
Oh, come on, Nick. You have a gift.
不是吧 尼克 你是真有天赋
Why you always trying to hide your light under a bushel?
你为什么总想隐藏自己的光芒呢
Because, sure, I could get a girl topless, no bra,
因为 要让女生脱♥光♥上身
with one hollowed-out papaya,
我可以只用一个木瓜
some crushed ice and two fingers of rum,
倒点碎冰块和两指高的朗姆酒就行了
but then I grew up.
但是我成熟了
Now I only want to make a drink that a coal miner would want.
我现在只想做矿工会喜欢喝的硬汉酒
Straightforward, honest.
直截了当 实实在在
Something that says, "I work in a hole."
宣示着 我在矿洞里工作
And I'm especially not making those drinks for you.
并且 我尤其不会为你做那种酒
What? Why? 'Cause you can't handle it.
什么 为什么 因为你功力太浅
You drink them way too fast, and then you get weird.
你喝得太快 然后就开始不正常了
Oh, come on. That was, like, years ago, dude.
哦 哥们 那是多少年以前的我了
I'm a changed man. I mean, look at me.
我已经改变了 看看我
I'm wearing a suit. A suit? Please.
我穿着正装哎 正装 拜托
That's something they put on Morgan Freeman
你这是摩根费里曼从
when they let him out of Shawshank.
肖申克电影里刚出狱时穿的
Look at that. What, did a magician die in that thing?
你那衣服是被冤魔术师鬼附身了吗
Hi.
大家好
I got laid off.
我失业了
What? Are you serious?
什么 你没开玩笑吧
Oh, my God. What happened? Obama.
天哪 出什么事了 死奥巴马...
It's possible I'm still in shock.
我似乎还处于震惊中
I'm gonna go to my room and process what just happened.
我要回我房♥间消化一下刚才发生的事
Thank you for your attention.
谢谢各位的关心
Ah, this is not good. Now she's going to cry.
这一点都不好 现在她要哭了
I hate it when she cries.
我特别不喜欢她哭
Her face gets all red and puffy, makes me sick.
她的脸变得又红又肿 让我反胃
Okay, we got to fix this right now, guys.
好吧 我们现在去帮帮她吧
Let's go. We gotta do something.
来来 我们需要做点什么
Okay. Here's how this is going to go.
挺好 接下来就这样
You will not pity me.
你们不许同情我
No pity eyes. Schmidt, stop looking at me
不要同情的眼神 施密特不要像看
like I'm a fat kid riding a bike.
胖孩子骑单车的同情眼神看我
It's just a job. I'll get a new one.
这只不过是份工作 我再找份新的
You're going to get so many jobs, Jess. I promise.
你一定能找到很多工作的 杰茜 我确定
So I just want you to go about your day and act normal.
你们保持平常那样就好了 正常点
Okay?
行吗
What's wrong with your eyes, Nick?
你眼睛怎么了 尼克
Stop blinking. Why are you doing that?
别眨眼了 你什么意思啊
I just think they fired the wrong girl, kid.
我只是认为他们开除错人了 孩子
Oh, for sure.
对 绝对的
Stop. Nick!
停下来 尼克
What's up?
怎么啦
What's wrong with you? You wiggin'?
你怎么回事 你这么激动啊
Act normal, okay? If that's what you want.
正常点好不 如果你真想那样的话
That is what I want. That's what you'll get.
那是我想要的 那我们成全你
Where you going, Schmidt?
你去哪儿 施密特
Sorry. This way.
不好意思 走错方向
Bye.
再见
Hey, hey. Hello
嗨 哈喽
How you doing, kid? Great.
你还好吧 孩子 非常好
My boobs are loving this unemployed thing.
我的胸部很喜欢我的失业状态
They don't have to go to boob jail every day.
她们不用每天受压抑了
Job hunt is on.
开始找工作啦
This hospital website says I can earn up to $700,
这家医院网站上说最多能挣七百块
and all I have to do is be infected with dengue fever.
而我只需要感染一下登革热病毒
Are you sure you're okay?
你确定你没事吗
For the thousandth time, yes.
我第一千次回答你 是的
I know you've been waiting all week for me to break down.
我知道你这一星期一直等着我崩溃
But I'm fine, just be normal.
但是我很好 请你正常点
I'm being normal. You're crossing your legs.
我很正常吧 你都跷二郎腿了
I always do this.
我一直都这样啊
You've never crossed your legs in your entire life.
你这辈子都没跷过腿
I didn't even know you were that flexible.
我从来都不知道你四肢还这么灵活呢
Well... And stop being nice to me.
我... 还有不要对我这么好了
What, I'm not normally nice to you, Jess?
什么啊 我平时对你不好吗 杰茜
No. You're mean, like a crazy old man.
是的 你刻薄 像个疯老头
I'm Nick. I hate sunshine.
我是尼克 我讨厌阳光
When did gum get so fancy?
什么时候口香糖变这么流行了
This escalator goes too fast.
这扶梯升得太快了吧
Be mean.
所以 刻薄点
Look sharp, you dumbass.
聪明点 你个蠢货
Sorry. That... that was in my head a little bit.
抱歉 这个在我脑中闪了一下
Look sharp, you dumb-ass.
放聪明点 你个笨女人
No. Tighten up! That's terrible.
不不 振作起来 这也太假了吧
I don't have it today. I don't know what it is.
我今天毒不起来 我也不知道怎么了
Can you believe that the zoo
你们能相信动物园居然
wouldn't let me borrow their white tiger?
不让我借他们的白老虎么
I mean, the nerve.
那种感觉
I'm going to be sitting in the back of the party,
我将会坐在派对的后面
and Philip Seymour Hoffman's going to be like,
然后菲利普·塞默·霍夫曼会说
Look at that idiot, couldn't even get a big cat.
瞧那个蠢货 连个大猫咪都弄不来
Schmidt, you need a tiger.
施密特 你需要一个老虎
I need a job.
我需要一份工作
Hire me.
雇我吧
No. Here...
不 我…
No, I'm not going to... Schmidt!
不 我不能… 施密特
What are you...? Hire me. I am a people person.
你这是… 雇我吧 我很爱社交
I'm great at parties.
我非常擅长办派对
I can make any kind of balloon animal,
我可以做任何气球动物
as long as it's a worm or a snake...
前提是得蠕虫或是蛇形状的
No, Jess.
不行 杰茜
Come on. Help a brother out.
拜托 帮姐们一个忙
Jess, you just got laid off, okay?
杰茜 你刚失业 知道吗
I can't have an emotionally vulnerable person on my crew.
我手下不能有情感脆弱的人
Tonight is about one man's functioning penis.
今晚的主题是一个男人重新运作的阴♥茎♥
I wouldn't say functioning.
我可不认为那叫正常运作
I saw what you did to the toilet seat.
看看你把马桶座圈给弄的
And I'm not unstable. I just need a job.
我情绪很稳定 我只是需要一份工作
Okay, fine. You know what, Jess? Fine.
好吧 杰茜 就这样吧
You can be my other shot girl. Yes!
你可以来做我的卖♥♥酒女 太棒了
A shot girl? No, you can't be a shot girl.
卖♥♥酒女 你当不来卖♥♥酒女的
Why not?
为什么不行
Because you don't have that specific hotness that
因为你没有那股风♥骚♥的劲头
shames men into spending nine dollars on a two-dollar shot.
能让男人掏出九块钱来买♥♥只值两块的酒
Just doesn't have it. Are you saying I'm not hot?
没那本事 你是说我不够辣吗
No, no, no, I'm not... No, no, you're hot, you're hot.
没有 我没那个意思 你很辣
Nick! I'm saying you're the nurse that
尼克 你就像是我洗胃之后
I want to wake up to after having my stomach pumped.
醒来就想见到的护士小姐
You know what I mean?
明白我什么意思吗
Its a different kind of hot, still hot.
是另外一种辣法 对我来说也很辣
I'm going to be a great shot girl, Nick.
尼克 我能当一个很不错的卖♥♥酒女
I pour liquids into cups every single day.
我每天都有往杯子倒液体
Add on top of that, two years of light tap and jazz.
除此之外 我还学了两年的踢踏舞和爵士乐
Please, I feel... I feel you overthinking this already.
别说了 我觉得你想多了
I'm going to be the best shot girl in the world.
我将会是全球最迷人的卖♥♥酒女
Cheers! Cheers.
干杯 干杯
Getting my costume.
我去换上装备
Hiya, big boy.
嗨 帅哥
What's your poison?
选管穿肠毒药尝尝吧
What?
你想说什么
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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