杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S02E04
Part 2
Nov. 20, 2020, 2:54 p.m.
我就要喷古风 很好闻哦
It's not even a real spice, man. Take it off.
它甚至算不上是香水 去弄干净了
The Spice is coming back! Everybody knows it!
现在流行古风了 大家都知道
You can wear any spice. Don't wear Old Spice!
随便你喷什么 就是不许喷古风
Classic cologne fight.
典型的古龙水之争
Guys! Shh!
伙计们 嘘
Hi.
你好
Zander and Raj went to Pate's thing,
赞德和拉杰去帕特那了
so tonight's been notched down to a "Chill hang".
所以今晚只能打发时间了
Cool.
好得很
I'll just put these...
我先把这些放下...
Thanks for having us.
谢谢请我们进来
No, can't do this.
不 我受不了
What is up? Have fun, kids.
怎么回事啊 玩得开心 孩子们
Party hip-hop. What's going on, kids?
嘻哈派对哦 你们干嘛呢 孩们
Let's party.
开始狂欢吧
What are you guys doing, huh? What is that?
你们在干嘛呢 这是什么啊
Is that Top Gun? Oh, look at that.
这是《壮志凌云》吗 看那个
Look at Anthony Eds, the "Goose" Man.
看安东尼·爱德华兹 代号♥"鹅"
Unbelievable that he dies in a few scenes.
不敢相信再几个镜头他就挂了
Goose dies?
鹅死了吗
Not cool, man.
别剧透啊
No, it's...
不是...
Look, nobody does an onscreen death like Anthony Eds.
没人比安东尼·爱德华兹死得还有范了
He's like the Hilary Swank of Bald Men.
秃头男星版的希拉里·斯旺克呢
He's like the Hilary Swank of bald...
秃头男星版的希拉里·斯旺克...
Hold everything.
等一下
Is that Cass Shant?
你那是砂锅棚吗
Casserole Shanty? That's where I work.
砂锅小屋 我在那工作
Your chicken-broccoli totally fuels my night bikes.
你们的鸡肉西兰花让我晚上干劲十足啊
I'm very happy to help.
我很开心能帮到你
Some of my friends don't appreciate it. No.
我一些朋友却不怎么喜欢 不会吧
You're just figuring it out, just like us.
你就像我们一样在摸索人生
Yeah.
是呀
I am figuring it out.
我的确是在摸索
Thank you, Brorie. I am.
谢谢你 布罗利
I'm just figuring it out, and that's okay.
我实在摸索人生 这挺好的
What do you guys do?
你们都干些什么呢
I work at home. I'm a DJ.
我在家上班 我是DJ
Well... Was I unclear about my night bikes?
我嘛... 我还没想好晚上干嘛
I work for a single-national corporation
我在一家全国性公♥司♥上班
called Associated Strategies.
叫做联合策略
Moo...
哞...
Oh, moo... I know. Yeah.
哞... 我懂的 哈哈
Totally, Fife. I get that.
绝对的 法夫 我懂的
Moo...
哞...
Moo...!
哞哞...
Right? That's a thing, right?
是吧 是这样吧
Yeah? Moo?
哞哞呗
Schmidt, you don't know...
施密特 你没明白...
Jess.
杰茜
Did I do that?
这是我♥干♥的吗
How did you just come up with that?
你是怎么想到的
Where did you get that?
你从哪学来的
It just came to me.
就是突然想到的
Where did that come from?
你怎么想到的啊
I just thought of it.
就是随便想想咯
That's how she casseroles!
她就是那样有"菜"的
What?
什么
Hey, Nana, Pop-Pop.
早啊 奶奶 爷爷
You missed an unreal hang last night.
你们错过了一个梦幻般的通宵
Unreal with a capital "Uh".
非常之虚幻哦
Really?
真的吗
Those kids with the found furniture
那些孩子们靠捡来的家具过活
and no TV because it's cool?
还没电视看 这样酷吗
It's a different world over there.
隔壁是个不一样的世界
A world where it's okay to only have a part-time job.
在他们那里 做零时工也挺好啊
A world where it's okay that I'm still finding myself.
还处在找寻自我阶段也行啊
A world where I have not one, but two catchphrases.
在那儿我还有俩招牌句子
$500.
500块
How rude!
太坏了
How rude!
太坏了
Just take it!
你拿回去吧
They think I made those up.
他们以为这些是我自己编出来的
There's just one tiny hitch.
不过有一个小小的问题
It's very awkward, and I don't know how to say it...
很尴尬 我都不知道怎么说
They hate Schmidt.
他们讨厌施密特
So much. How did you know?
太讨厌了 你怎么会知道
If I had a dollar for everybody I couldn't hang out with
如果每个因为讨厌施密特而不跟我一起玩的人
because they hated Schmidt, I'd be rich.
给我一块钱 我早就发了
Like, fill my gas tank all the way up rich.
还是那种加油不心疼油钱的有钱人
He was all over the map.
他实在是无孔不入
He spent 20 minutes talking about aioli.
说个蒜泥蛋黄酱都能说20分钟
Don't worry about it. I'm on it.
别担心 我来解决
What do you mean, you're on it?
什么叫你来解决
You're gonna prank him, aren't you? I-I knew it!
你要整蛊他 对不对 我就知道
I knew it! You're gonna prank him.
我就知道 你要整蛊他
Hey, can I help you? I'm really good with pranks?
嘿 我能帮忙么 我很在行的哎
You may not help with the pranks.
整蛊你帮不上忙
Why not, man? I'm the best with the pranks, man.
为什么 伙计 我最在行了啊
They call me "Prank Sinatra." No, you call you Prank Sinatra.
人称整蛊辛纳屈 错 这是你自封的
Oh, come... 'Cause I am.
拜托 因为我名副其实
Winston, you're the worst at pranks in the whole world.
温斯顿 你是这世界上整蛊最不在行的人
No, I'm not. Yes, you are!
才不是 你就是
You either go way too small...
你要么就整得太轻
Let's pour a little juice near her shoe.
我们倒一点点果汁在她鞋子边上
...Or you go way too big.
要么就是整得太过
Hey, let's hit her in the throat with a ski.
嘿 我们用雪橇打她喉咙吧
You don't have a pranking sweet spot.
你根本找不到整蛊最佳点
Speaking of...
说到这个
Are you limping?
你跛脚了吗
My hip is achy.
我屁♥股♥痛
I wonder if it's your shoes.
我怀疑是你鞋子的问题
Did you try different shoes?
你没换双鞋试试吗
I try on four different pairs of shoes
我试了四双鞋
with every outfit, rain or shine. You know that.
搭了四套衣服 晴雨都有 你知道的
What did you do?
你干啥了
Well, he could try on 100 different pairs.
他再试一百双别的鞋
It's not going to matter.
都没用
The left heel is an eighth of an inch shorter
每双鞋的左脚脚后跟
on every single pair.
都短了八分之一英寸
This is so crazy, Nick.
这太疯狂了 尼克
Oh, my God, you know what we should do?
天呐 你知道我们该干啥么
We should take those shavings,
我们应该拿着这些碎屑
and then sprinkle them by his car.
撒在他的车边
Let me just get this clear.
让我理理清楚啊
Take the little bit of dust Yeah, 'cause...
拿这么点碎屑 是的 因为
And go outside and put it near his car? Yes.
去外面 撒在他车旁边 是的
That's not a prank. Yes, it is.
这不是整蛊 明明就是
That's just kind of littering.
这叫乱扔垃圾
His whole ride to work, Okay, you're done.
他上班的一路上 算了 你歇着吧
He'd be thinking, like, "What?"
都会想 "那是什么"
So we're pranking him
那我们整蛊他
so he thinks while we're not around, "What?"
就是为了让他走了之后想 "那是什么"
It's too small.
这也太小儿科了
You've got to go bigger than that.
你必须得做大一点
Well, anyway,
好吧 不管怎样
I got to fill this up with pee. Ew! Why?
我要在这里装满尿 呕 为什么啊
So I can pour it all over Schmidt's bed
那我就可以将它倒在施密特的床上
and make him think he's incontinent.
让他以为自己小便失禁
That's disgusting, Nick.
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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