杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S02E08
Part 4
Nov. 20, 2020, 2:56 p.m.
Schmidt, come on, we are getting hungry.
施密特 别闹了 大伙都饿了
What don't you guys just stay here?
你们干脆留这儿过夜吧
I'll sleep on the couch. What? What are you saying?
我可以睡沙发 你说什么
What? Nothing happened.
什么 啥事都没有
What are you saying? What are you saying?
你们说什么 你又说什么呢
I'm with you. You shouldn't be saying anything...
我帮你呢 你应该保持沉默
Anything, 'cause I don't know anything.
保持沉默 因为我什么都不知道
'Cause you're not... you don't have any information
因为你...根本不了解情况
about anything. Information at all.
任何情况 什么都不知道
Nothing.
啥事
Happened. The answer is nothing.
都没有 啥事都没
What? Answer me a question.
搞啥飞机 告诉我
Which one of these platings is more masculine?
哪个拼盘更有男子气概
Look, do you guys want to know what the ultimate test is?
听着 你们想知道终极测试是什么吗
Being secure in your masculinity.
绝不动摇的纯爷们之心
How do we prove that? I'm super secure.
怎么证明 我超坚定的
You kiss a man.
吻一个男人
Yeah.
笑话
If you want to be the one true Schmidt. I mean...
如果你们想成为独一无二的施密特...
No. We don't. I'll kiss a man.
不想了 吻就吻
I'll kiss a man. Yeah, I'll kiss a man.
不就是个男人 吻就吻
Winston. Yeah, he'd do. Winston?
温斯顿 就他吧 温斯顿
I could go for some stuffing right now. Am I right?
我真想来点火鸡填料 大家有意见没
Yeah, love me some stuffing. Yeah, yeah.
给哥来点填料... 来啊 谁怕谁
Yeah, right? Yeah, let's go. I'll kiss Winston.
就是 上吧 我要吻温斯顿
I'll do it. I'll kiss Winston all day.
我要吻他 我可以吻他一整天
I'll kiss Winston's mouth all day.
我可以嘴对嘴吻他到天明
Let's do it.
来战
All day I'll kiss Winston...
老子今天吻定你了...
Everybody else really hot, too?
还有谁现在热情高涨吗
Thank you.
谢谢
Manly. Beautiful.
真爷们 很美
Hey, Winston, uh, I got you this
温斯顿 我给你准备了点
as an after-dinner mint for after dinner.
饭后口香糖 你一会吃啊
Oh, thanks, man. I appreciate it. Okay? For you to have.
谢了兄弟 你真周到 特意给你的
Just make sure you take... that's right...
就是...千万别忘了吃
What are we having here, turkey sushi?
这是什么 火鸡寿司吗
What is this?
这啥呀
I'm gonna make a toast.
我要说段祝酒词
Parent Trap's just a movie.
《天生一对》只是部电影
And real relationships are not like that.
现实情况并非如剧中那样
They're more complicated than that.
而是更加复杂
And they're not even real twins.
她们都不是真的双胞胎
Twins! Yes!
双胞胎 没错
I'm thankful for twins. They're like sisters,
感谢双胞胎的存在 像姐妹一般
but they do it, and they like to have sex.
却还能滚床单
Schmidts. What?!
施密特 啥事
What? In conclusion...
啥事... 总而言之
I want to say what I'm thankful for.
我想在今天向这个温暖的大家庭
Family.
表示感谢
They said... it couldn't be done.
别人说 这是没希望的
They said,
他们说
"You're crazy, Jess."
"你简直疯了 杰茜"
I am so thankful today that I proved them wrong.
但如今我用事实证明了自己
Whoa, honey, what? Whoa, hey, hey, wait. What are you saying?
宝贝 你说啥 等等 你说什么呢
Congratulations, guys. We saw you guys doing it in the bathroom.
恭喜两位 我们看见你们在洗手间亲热了
No, no, no, no, no.
不是那么回事儿
We saw you guys doing it in the bathroom.
我们都看到你们在洗手间那啥了
It was the greatest day of my entire life. Greatest day of mine.
这是我人生中最圆♥满♥的一天 我也是
There was so much love there.
那么深切的爱
And sex. Sex energy, too, Jess. And sesex.
还有性的激♥情♥ 杰茜 还有欲♥火♥...
You lit this place on fire,
那欲♥火♥简直能引发火灾了
you two animals. It was just a kiss.
你们太激♥情♥ 我们只是接了个吻
It was a great kiss.
但是个超棒的吻
It was a hookup. It mean nothing.
纯粹来一发而已 不是认真的
Listen, if Joanie's up for grabs,
如果乔安想广征炮♥友♥的话
I volunteer. I volunteer, too.
我自愿报名 我也报名
I volunteered first. Don't even matter.
我先报的 有什么关系
You can't volunteer right after... I'm in the game now.
你不能抄袭我 比赛还继续呢
You just wanted me for my body.
你纯粹只是渴求我的肉体
Yup. And I'm fine with that.
没错 我能接受
Joanie, what if it was like that? That's not bad.
乔安 你看这怎样 还不错啊
I saw something. You guys had a spark, you connected.
我看到了你们之间爱的火花 心意相通
Let's get natural. I swear, if you got together today,
动作自然点 如果今天你们复合
it would be different than before.
生活肯定会从此不同
I think you could make each other happy.
你们会真的很幸福
I'm serious. No. What?
我说真的 别打断我
Let me finish. Jess, you got to let it go, okay?
让我说完 杰茜 该放弃了
No, I'm not letting it go!
我绝不会放弃的
You have to admit that... No.
你必须接受... 不要
they're never gonna make it work. What?
他们不可能在一起的 凭什么
And you scratched my van.
你划坏了我的货车
Mom, she didn't mean to scratch your van.
妈 她不是故意的
I knew it. I knew it.
我就知道
Didn't I tell you? I knew it.
我就说过 肯定是这样
Okay, the reason I was in your van
我之所以会在你车里
is because your little Jujube was high as a kite!
是因为你得小枣儿嗑嗨了
Oh. Oh, my God.
我的天
Honey, are you an addict? Oh, this is new information.
宝贝 你有毒瘾吗 这还真是新闻
It was a brownie. I wasn't allowed to eat chocolate.
就是块巧克力蛋糕[有女童子军之意] 我不能吃巧克力
What, are you living with drug dealers?
你和毒贩子住一块吗
When can we start eating?
咱啥时候能开吃
Are you into pot? What are you doing?
你吸毒吗 你都干了些什么
Is this a rehab? Are you selling your body to pay for the rent?
这儿是戒毒所吗 用身体付房♥租吗
I don't sell my body for rent, no!
我才没用身体付房♥租 别插嘴
When can we start eating?
咱啥时候能开吃
It's off. Off.
到此为止
Shut up, everybody!
所有人都给我闭嘴
I just want to be a family.
我只是想要个家
Jess.
杰茜
You have a family.
你有家
Your father and I are not getting back together.
但我和你♥爸♥爸不可能复合的
Never.
永远不可能
Jess.
杰茜
Honey? Where you going?
宝贝 你去哪
Jess?
杰茜
Turkey.
火鸡
Jess. Honey, can I come in?
杰茜 宝贝 我能进来吗
Or do you have your dad hiding in the closet,
还是你又把你爹藏在衣柜里
waiting to make out with me?
等着我们做♥爱♥呢
I'm sorry.
对不起
I'm sorry. I ruined the whole day,
对不起 我把感恩节毁了
and it could have been really nice, but it wasn't,
本来一切都很好的 全都毁了
'cause I tried to shove a turkey down a garbage disposal.
就因为我把火鸡当垃圾扔了
I just...
我只是...
I thought...
觉得...
maybe you guys could make each other happy.
你们在一起也许真的会很幸福
We're actually happier apart.
事实上我们分开更幸福
Maybe I just worried that...
也许我只是担心...
since you guys are alone
因为你们都孤身一人
that means that I have to end up alone.
所以我也会和你们一样 孤独终老
You're not gonna be alone.
你一定会找到伴侣的
Even if you were,
就算真找不到
you could always move in with me.
你也可以搬来和我住
We could get a condo in Miami.
咱俩在迈阿密弄间公♥寓♥
And start solving crimes together.
一起破破案什么的
God, you have to lighten up, Jess.
你得乐观点 杰茜
It's just life.
生活就是如此
Yeah, you know what? We could definitely Grey Gardens
咱俩肯定能在迈阿密的小公♥寓♥
the crap out of a condo in Miami.
上演一出《灰色公♥寓♥》
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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