杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S02E05
Part 1
Nov. 20, 2020, 2:55 p.m.
Happy birthday, dude!
生日快乐 姐们儿
Hello. I made you a cake.
晚上好 我给你做了个蛋糕
Can't. Booked a car show for tomorrow,
不吃 明天要走秀
and I have been so good this week.
我这一周都感觉良好
I lost four pounds. Oh, come on, Cece.
我瘦了四斤 吃嘛 希希
It's your birthday. We're gonna eat cake,
今天是你生日 我们要吃蛋糕
we're gonna watch Clueless on VHS,
看不解之谜[90年代电视剧]的录像带
and we're gonna try to make prom dresses out of towels.
我们还要试着用毛巾做舞会礼服
Obviously, just like we always do.
也就是说 我们经常做的那样
As if!
没错
As if is, like, the funniest thing ever.
这真是有史以来最搞笑的事
I wish I had a stepbrother to fall in love with.
我希望有一个相爱的同父异母的哥哥
I know, right? Paul Rudd.
我懂的 像Paul Rudd那样的
You know, actually, I thought maybe this year,
其实 我觉得今年
we could go out, you know?
我们可以出去玩
We go party tonight.
我们今晚去开派对
Let dogs out. Catch gypsy.
关门放狗 抓吉普赛人
Yeah. Yeah, Nadia wants me
没错 Nadia想让我
to go to this last-minute thing she found out about,
参加这个她临时决定的活动
so I thought we could all, you know, just go out tonight.
我觉得我们今晚可以一起 出去玩
You, me, Nadia, the girls. The models?
你 我 Nadia 姑娘们 模特们
Yes, Jess, the models. Please?
没错 杰茜 模特们 来吧
You and I have never spent my birthday apart, ever.
你从来没缺席过我的生日 从来没有
Except for the one time in seventh grade
除了七年级那次
where you walked out of my sleepover
你离开了我的通宵派对
because you claimed... When you struck me in the breast.
因为你说... 你胸袭了我
But I didn't even touch boob, because you know,
可我甚至都没碰到你的胸 因为
we all knew you were stuffing... Oh, my God.
我们都知道你里面填了东西 我去
We were all stuffing. Stuffing? We all stuffed.
我们都填了 填充吗 我们都填过
You've seen my grandmother. I was not stuffing. Yes, we were.
你见过我奶奶 我没填 你填了
It was seventh grade. I've been like this since I was seven.
那时才7年级 姐7年纪就已经如此波涛胸涌了
You're... Come out with us tonight!
你 晚上和我们出来吧
Please, please, please! Okay.
求你了 求你了 好吧
Okay. I'll come.
同意了 我会来
Thank you.
谢谢
I so excited.
我真激动
I shake this thing that my mama gave me.
我穿这条我妈给我的裙子最赞了
Yolo!
万岁
The Galapagos tortoise,
加拉帕戈斯象龟
or Galapagos giant tortoise, Unbelievable...
或加拉帕戈斯大象龟 不可思议
is the largest living species of tortoise...
是现存最大的乌龟物种
Spectacular.
壮观
Hey, do you think
你觉得
Jess would be mad if I got a turtle
如果我养只龟 取名叫杰茜
and named it Jess,
杰茜会不会疯掉
even though I had that name picked out before she moved in?
即使在她搬进来之前我就想好了这个名字
A turtle? Thinking man's best friend, Schmidty.
乌龟 思想者最好的朋友 施密特
In our home? Over my turtle-disease-ridden dead body.
在咱家 在我布满龟疫的尸体上养吧
Whatever, dream killer. What's this?
算了吧 你个扫兴鬼 这是啥
Got you a cookie.
给你买♥♥了个饼干
What, you have, like...?
啥 这是你
Have, like, an extra?
剩下的
No.
不是
So you just, like, got me a cookie?
你就是 给我买♥♥了块饼干
Yeah, I was thinking about you.
我想着你呢
What do you mean you were thinking about me?
你想着我呢是什么意思
What do you mean? I don't know. I was thinking about you.
你干嘛这么问 我就是想着你呢
Think about you a lot, bro.
总是惦记着你 哥们儿
Why?
为啥
I don't know. Because you're my friend,
不知道 因为你是我朋友
you're on my mind.
你存在我深深的脑海里
What, do you not think about me?
难道 你不会想着我吗
Of course not!
当然不会
Schmidt got me a cookie.
施密特给我买♥♥了块饼干
Oh. Very nice.
真好
What do you guys think?
你们觉得咋样
Whoa! Smokin' hot.
赞 真辣
I'm going out tonight with Cece and her model friends,
我今晚和希希和她的模特朋友们出去
and I'm going for "Promising ballerina turned streetwalker."
我准备好从有前途的芭蕾女变成拉客女了
You have too much joie de vivre.
你太阳光向上了
Okay, you want to look a little bit more bored, tired.
你得再厌世一点 颓废一些
Just altogether disengaged.
再消极放纵一些
More tired-- more, like, sick-like.
再疲惫一点 再来点病态
Really let your bones prop you up.
像只是骨头支撑着那样
Did you put shoe polish on your eyes?
你把鞋油涂眼睛上了吗
I never understand you women-- God.
我永远无法理解你们女人 天啊
Eye shadow, man. That's...?
那是眼影 兄弟 那是
Oh, that's makeup?
是化了妆吗
I would take that off.
要是我就卸了
That looks crazy.
看着真疯狂
Can't believe I have to deal with the models
真不敢相信我为了能和希希出去
just to hang out with Cece.
还必须讨好模特们
Last time we hung out, it was awful.
上次我们出去 那真是太可怕了
I figure the best way to talk to models
我发现和模特交流的最佳方式
is just point to objects and describe them.
就是指着某些物体并描述它们
The table is round.
桌子是圆的
It's also flat.
也是平的
Yes, the table is round, and it's flat.
是的 桌子是圆的 也是平的
Oh, look, a lamp.
看啊 一盏灯
I love Cece, and these are Cece's friends,
我爱希希 她们是希希的朋友
so I should be able to get along with them.
所以我应该和她们和睦相处
I should be able to deal with the fact
我必须接受她们觉得我
that they think I look like a monkey...
像一只猴子这个事实
from a Russian cracker ad.
还是个俄♥罗♥斯♥饼干广♥告♥中的猴子
Whatever.
无所谓
It's Cece's birthday. It's her special night.
今天是希希的生日 是她的特别之夜
I can get drunk, point at furniture
我可以喝醉 指着家具
if that means I can spend some quality time with my BFF.
只要我能和我最好的闺蜜共度良宵
Hey, is it totally obvious that I'm not wearing underwear?
我没穿内衣很明显吗
Because it should be.
因为本该如此
And that makes two of us.
我也没穿
You made it! Sorry I'm late.
你终于来啦 抱歉我迟到了
They let in a lot of people ahead of me-- like, a lot.
他们让很多人在我之前进来 非常多
Saving the best for last.
姐要压轴出场
Monkey cracker.
猴子饼干
Monkey cracker.
猴子饼干
Monkey,
猴子
monkey, where you keep the crackers?
猴子 你把饼干藏哪了
This is so much fun.
太有意思了
Schmidt?
施密特
So, it turns out
我发现
there's more than one type of turtle.
不是只有一种乌龟
I could go Eastern Box, or spur thighed,
我可以买♥♥东部箱龟 股刺陆龟
or nearsighted loner.
或者近视孤独龟
What was that? You just grunt at me?
啥意思 你在哼我吗
Wasn't a grunt. That was a grunt, Schmidt.
不是哼 就是哼 施密特
It was a "Hurumph." A Hurumph sounds like this "Hurumph".
只是呼了一口气 呼气是这样的
I'm sorry if you took it the wrong way; it was not a grunt.
如果你听错了我表示抱歉 这不是哼
Serena Williams. That was a grunt.
小威廉姆斯[网球名将] 那才是哼
It's all good, man, all right?
怎么样都好 兄弟 行了吧
It's all "Smoove in the groove."
都是这唱片惹的祸
Mellow, man.
开心点 兄弟
Mega-mellow.
非常开心
Okay.
好吧
Schmidt, what the hell are you doing?
施密特 你到底想干啥
You don't think about me?
你从没想着我
What are you talking about?
你说啥呢
Earlier today, when I gave you the cookie,
之前 我给你饼干的时候
I heard very clearly, "I don't think about you, Schmidt."
我听得非常清楚 我没想着你 施密特
Why would I think about you?!
我♥干♥嘛要想着你
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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