杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S02E09
Part 3
Nov. 20, 2020, 2:57 p.m.
Jess-- I don't have sperms.
杰茜 精♥子♥我是没有的
I have tadpoles.
有的全是蝌蚪
Of the gods.
上帝派来的
That's right.
没错
And I'm gonna give 'em to you.
我把它们给你
You can have 'em all, for all I care.
全都给你 尽情地
That's how much I love you.
我就是这么爱你
I feel your pain in this situation.
你的痛苦我感同身受
I want you to have babies.
我想帮你怀个孩子
Take my sperms.
拿我的精♥子♥吧
No. It should be me, Jess.
不 该用我的 杰茜
What? With your big, beautiful blue eyes
神马 有了你大大的蓝眼睛
and my... Blair Underwood-like skin,
加上我布莱尔·安德伍德一般的皮肤
we'd have the most beautiful
我们会生出世界上
baby the world has ever seen. He's not wrong.
最漂亮的小孩 此话不假
It could get into any school it wants.
想读什么名校都易如反掌
To be clear, I haven't asked any of you to impregnate me.
我要申明 我可没叫你们任何人帮我怀孕
I think it's important that that's been said.
这一点必须说清楚
Good, 'cause it's definitely not me.
很好 因为我肯定不帮你
'cause it's definitely not you.
肯定不要你
I would love that little baby with all my heart.
我会用真心疼爱那个小家伙的
Even if I did show it
虽然表达的方式很特殊
by picking him up from school in my underwear and...
比如穿着内♥裤♥接他放学
hitting on the crossing guard.
或是和交通协管员打架什么的
How's the zombie novel coming? Good, good, good.
你那小说写得如何 很好 很好
I haven't written a word.
一个字都没码出来
Wait, are you serious?
你不是吧
Nick, it's not that hard, man.
尼克 这有什么难的呀
Just sit down and write.
坐下来写不就成了
You ain't Hemingway.
你又不是海明威
You boys are right.
你太有才了
I got to be more like Hemingway.
我得像海明威学习
I just lost another one of my eggs
就在你把自己跟有史以来
while you were comparing yourself
最有名的作家相提并论时
to the most famous writer of all time.
我的卵子又死了一个
Maybe the reason I have writer's block
也许我写作受挫就是因为
is I've been living too casual with you clowns.
我和你们这些蠢货混日子混太久了
I need real-life adventure
我得体验真实的冒险
like Ernest Hemingway had at my age.
就像欧内斯特·海明威在我这个年龄经历的
Man, I got to run with the bulls.
我要跟公牛齐奔
I got to kill a man with my bare hands
跟一个男人做♥爱♥之后
after making sweet love to him
再亲手掐死他
and then sleep on the warm belly of his horse.
最后睡在他家小马的温暖肚皮上
I got to eat my way out of a sandwich house!
我要在三明治店里狂吃一顿
How much you know about Hemingway?
你对海明威了解多少
Not a lot! But I'm gonna learn!
不多 但我要开始学习了
I'm becoming Ernest Hemingway.
我很快就是下一个欧内斯特·海明威了
You idiots.
你们这些傻♥逼♥
Schmidt.
施密特
Okay, Schmidt.
好了 施密特
Female pleasure.
女性的愉悦
Here are some diagrams,
这里有些图
so we can see where you're at.
让我们更直观地看清你所处的位置
The vagina.
阴♥道♥
I'm familiar.
我熟得很
Good.
很好
Now, what I typically do is I start over here,
通常我都是从这里开始
and then I move here once
接着等我确定
I feel confident that this area
这一块都被照顾周全以后
has been taken care of.
我就移到这里
Yeah, see, that's exactly what I do.
是啊 我就是这么做的
I call that "Losing Nemo."
我称之为"失去尼莫"
Well, a more advanced move would be...
更进一步的举动会是...
You know what? I'll just show you.
这样 我直接指给你看吧
It's sort of... Come in this way.
就是 从这里进来
No, no, I see what you're doing. That asymmetry right there?
对对 我完全明白 那个不对称处对吧
That's crucial. 'Cause then what I'll do is
它非常重要 接下来我就会
is I'll go outside,
我会出来
get the paper,
拿起这片纸
and shake the neighbor's hand.
跟邻居握握手
Interesting. Then what I'll do is,
有点意思 再然后呢
I'll tie a bow on it because it's birthday time.
我在这打个结 因为生日到了嘛
Then I get onstage and collect my Oscar
接着我走上台 接过我的奥斯卡奖杯
and say thank you to the people,
向观众们致谢
thank you to the people, then get back down offstage
道一声谢 再走下台来
and get everybody into the sharing circle,
让大家围坐成一圈
right down there in the sharing circle, and then...
就在那个小圈里 然后
spike the volleyball.
命中排球
Then what I like to do is,
之后我还喜欢
I like to arrive at the bridge, meet the troll,
走到桥这里 见过巨人
and then answer his riddles three.
回答他的三个谜语
Then what we do is, we're dancing.
接着呢 我们就舞起来
We're just gonna dance, we're gonna dance for a while.
跳起舞来 跳一会儿
We'll dance until you can't dance anymore,
跳到你无力
dancing till you can't dance anymore,
再也跳不动了为止
and then everybody gets
最后每个人都将沉浸于
a churro.
至高愉悦
You okay?
你没事吧
It's the baby hormones.
怀孕时荷尔蒙也发♥情♥
They are not as gay as me.
而且不像我只喜欢女人
So I'm good at this, right?
所以我技术很棒的 对吧
Schmidt, in my professional opinion,
施密特 就我专业观点来看
you have definitely earned the rank of--
你确确实实称得上
and I will use the phrase you coined-- va-genius.
如你所说的 阴才
Thank you, thank you so much.
谢谢 万分感谢
I really needed to hear that, Sadie.
我太需要这份肯定了 莎蒂
You got to go.
你得走了
Hey, Winston,
温斯顿
we're going on an adventure!
我们去冒险吧
We need real-life experience like Hemingway.
我们要像海明威一样历险
Whoo, I feel like Hemingway.
我简直海明威附体了
This is life experience?
这就是你所谓的生活历练
Yeah, the zoo is the best we can do, I told you,
没错 我说了我们最多只能来动物园呀
but it's got everything we need.
但它完全够了
It's got life, animals, man, beast.
有生机 动物 人 兽
Look, I'm sorry, dude, it's just, you know,
对不起 伙计 只不过
I'm not supposed to be awake right now
这个时间我应该在睡觉的
because of my adjusted... Adjusted schedule, yeah.
因为我的作息... 作息颠倒 对
Hey, man, 13 minutes of sleep.
兄弟 就十三分钟
Honestly, Nick, seriously,
说真的 尼克
13 minutes of sleep-- that's all I got.
我只睡了十三分钟
You're starting to look like a pillow to me.
你在我眼里都像是枕头了
All I can think of is, like,
我满脑子都是
"Man, Nick looks exactly like a pillow to me."
尼克看上去真跟枕头没两样
Hmm, what'd you say? Winston, you need some sleep.
说啥 温斯顿 你真得睡会
But I'm out here with you. Yeah.
但我却和你出来了 对
Okay, because I love you. Thank you.
因为我爱你 谢谢
And I want you to finish your zombie book.
我希望你能写完僵尸小说
Okay, but check out where we are.
好的 看看我们在哪呀
This is experience,
这才叫体验
this is what's firing me up to get back to writing.
让我重燃斗志找到灵感的东西
This is kind of what it's all about.
这才是关乎一切的呀
What are you doing?
你干什么呢
It's writer's fuel.
作家的补给呀
That's what Hemingway said.
这可是海明威说的
Sadie, um, hey.
莎蒂 那啥...
Uh, I just, I just want you to know that I am, um, I'm like--
我只想告诉你 我...
I am okay with whatever you tell me.
你要说什么都行
I'm just like,
我就是
if you say
你要是说
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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