杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S02E07
Part 2
Nov. 20, 2020, 2:55 p.m.
You said they were a bunch of...
说她们就是一群...
Pant-suited corporate She-Hulks?
穿制♥服♥的女巨人
Yeah, I know what I said.
是的我说过
Emma is the craziest woman to ever hit on me.
艾玛是勾搭过我的女人中最疯狂的一个
Schmidt, you're such a nice guy.
施密特 你人这么好
Thank you. What you deserve is a girl who respects you.
谢谢 应该找个尊重你的女孩
You know? A nice girl.
找个好姑娘
I'm not into the nice thing, Robby. Doesn't do it for me.
我不喜欢太好的 罗比 乖乖女不是我的菜
Well, that's what I thought, too. Yeah.
我最初也这么想 是啊
You know, until I found, uh... this one right here.
直到我找到了这位...命中真爱
You mean Cece?
你说希希
You think that I'm... nice?
你觉得我...很好
No.
不
I think you're the nicest.
我觉得你是最好的
Robby!
罗比
Yes, the man just left.
是的 那人刚走
And he turned off the gas.
他把煤气停了
Yeah, I'm refusing to pay my gas bill
没错 我拒绝支付煤气账单
as a matter of principle.
这是原则问题
You'd like me to take the survey?
你要来调查
Of course I'll take the survey.
随便来啊
Schmidt? Yeah, hold on.
施密特 稍等
Can I share some thing with you, man to man?
我能和你说点兄弟间的悄悄话吗
Oh, I'm...
我...
You have to promise me you will not laugh.
你要保证不取笑我
Look, I'm... you're not talking to Nick, here.
拜托 我又不是尼克
You're talking to Schmidt.
施密特可靠谱了
Schmidt, I think I'm getting my period.
施密特 我好像来大姨妈了
Okay.
好吧
This is a real thing, okay? I looked it up on the Internet.
是真的 我在网上查过了
It's called, uh, "Sympathy PMS," right?
这被称为"类月经" 懂吗
Now, apparently this is an affliction
男人一直以来都
that men suffer from all the time.
饱受类月经的折磨
Right on.
继续
I don't know how it happened, man,
我也不知道怎么会这样的
but somehow, I got on that woman's cycle of menstruation...
但我就是莫名其妙地有了女人的月经周期
and I got that menstruation inside of me.
在我体内奔腾
Winston!
温斯顿
Men can't get their periods.
男人是不会来大姨妈的
Where would they put the tampon?
该把卫生棉塞哪儿
Hey! Are you calling me stupid?
你是想说我蠢吗
You're the one that's stupid, okay?
你才蠢 知道吗
You jack-faced butthole!
你个不要脸的混♥蛋♥
Who's the jack-faced butthole
哪个不要脸的混♥蛋♥
who turned off the hot water?!
把热水关了
Witch! What have you done to my body?
死巫婆 你对我的身体做什么了
Shut up, you!
给我闭嘴
Why is there no hot water?!
为什么没热水了
Oh, I'm sorry, Jess.
抱歉 杰茜
If you don't pay, you don't play.
不付钱 没热水
You also don't shower.
也就没澡洗
Are you serious?
你玩儿真的啊
Thank you, Denise.
谢了 丹尼斯
Hey, great buddies.
好兄弟
Ow, my skin! Okay.
别碰我 好的
Roommates... hey, buddy. Don't poke me.
亲爱的室友 别闹
Something wonderful happened to me today,
今天我遇到了人生的奇迹
and I am no longer angry. It's gone.
使我彻底摆脱愤怒 再也不生气了
Oh, shut up, Nick.
闭嘴吧 尼克
So let me get this straight:
也就是说
nothing at all's going to set you off?
无论发生什么都没法让你生气咯
That's right.
没错
Nothing's gonna get to me,
什么都惹不到我
'cause it's a new Nick Miller.
尼克·米勒脱胎换骨了
Awesome. Hey, Winston, tell him what you have.
好极了 温斯顿 快把你那事儿告诉他
Sympathy PMS. It's a real thing, I looked it up.
我来类月经了 真有这么回事 我查过的
Sympathy PMS? What's that? No!
类月经 那是毛线 滚你的
PMS is mine!
月经是老娘的
Stop stealing my stuff, Winston.
不许偷我的专利 温斯顿
You're telling me you're having
你是说你也有个
a pre-menstrual something right now?
月经周期之类的东西
Yes. Okay.
没错 好吧
It's like a character in a Judy Blume novel.
简直像是朱迪·布鲁姆小说中的角色
No! You can't have my menzies.
你不可能抢走我的月经
He's got her menzies.
他抢了她的月经
No part of this conversation
这些傻♥逼♥对话
is making me want to boil over with rage.
都没法点燃我的怒火
I feel really good, guys.
我感觉好极了 伙计们
Hey, gang, why is the water so cold?
筒子们 为什么水这么冷
Schmidt turned off the hot water,
施密特停了热水
because it's not enough that I have to go on an interview
他嫌我带着姨妈去面试
with the red devil in my belly,
还不够惨
I also have to go unshowered.
偏要害我连澡都洗不成
So let me get this straight:
也就是说
there's no hot water in the whole house?
家里没热水了咯
Yeah.
是的
Seems strange.
这还真囧
Maybe a cold shower will wake you up
也许淋个冷水澡能让你
to some harsh financial realities, Jessica Day.
意识到这严峻的经济危机 杰西卡·戴
You don't control my heat, Theodore P. Gasbag.
你没法控制老娘的热度[火气] 废话先生
This is good!
这真棒
We got a lot of feelings going around.
火花四射 激♥情♥万丈
A lot of anger.
好多愤怒的情绪
And you. You...
你这家伙
You're suddenly calm?
就这么变成淡定帝了
Yeah. Really?
是啊 坑爹呢
It feels like a fat man's sitting on my uterus.
我觉得有个死胖子坐在我的子♥宫♥里
I hear that.
这话说的
Gonna go to the store!
我要去趟商店
Does anybody want anything?!
有什么要帮忙带的吗
Thank you, Denise.
谢了 丹尼斯
Hey, you wanted to see me?
你找我吗
Shut the door.
关门
Quick reflexes. Good.
反应很快啊 不错
I am going to devour you.
我要吃了你
You see that contract? Oh, the thick one?
看见那合同没 那厚厚一叠
With all those tabbies?
划满了条纹[有老处♥女♥意思]
Do me on it.
在上面来一发吧
Pick that up.
捡起来
Did you just ask me to pick it up to see me bend over?
你要我捡起来 是想看我弯腰的样子吗
No.
不
Oh, wait, I'm doing it.
我正在捡呢
Stand up.
站起来
What is this thing?
这是啥
You're gonna have to sign it before anything can happen between us.
在咱俩发♥生♥关♥系♥之前你要签了它
"Party A absolves Party B
甲方赦免乙方
"Of any psychological trauma,
对其造成的一切物理伤害
whether temporary, permanent, future or imagined."
无论暂时的或永久的 预定的或假想的
After we do what we do, you're gonna want to talk.
等我们发♥生♥关♥系♥之后 你肯定会想谈及那些
I can't allow that.
这绝不行
The less risk I incur, the more I can focus on
风险小 我才能集中精神
creating a viable sexual experience for both of us.
享受一次可观的性经验
You're gonna want to sign it.
你会同意签的
"Possible exposure to lead paint."
有可能在裸♥露♥皮肤上进行胶乳绘画
Do I have a latex allergy?
我会不会对乳漆过敏
That's very important.
这很重要
"Guaranteed mercury poisoning"?
同意接受水银侵害
Is this real?
来真的啊
You have till week's end to sign it.
你有两周时间签名
What is your name?!
你叫什么名字
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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