极品老妈

Mom S07E20

Part 2 June 23, 2020, 4:09 p.m.

Ranch hands are supposed to be dudes.
这是度假[男人]牧场男人呢
It's called a "Dude ranch." Where are the dudes?!
玛乔丽把我打包的袜子换成了这些
Marjorie replaced the socks I packed with these.
"我们可能会徒步"
"We might hike."
徒步的唯一理由是
The only reason to ever hike is
有个男人问 "你想去徒步吗"
if a guy says, "You want to go hiking?"
我为什么来这里啊
Why am I here?
你只是心态有点崩
Oh, you're just in a little slump.
你会好起来的
You'll get out of it.
不只是那个我是个隐形人
It's more than that. I'm invisible.
永远不会有人再喜欢上我了
No one's ever gonna be attracted to me again.
在我的葬礼上人们会说
At my funeral, people will say,
"那个老女律师为什么孤独去世啊
"Oh, why'd that old lawyer lady die alone?
她挺可爱的"
She was kind of cute."
至少你还是个律师
At least you're gonna be a lawyer.
不像我只是个没厢车的废物
Unlike me, who's just a van-less loser.
看来我的牢骚时间到了
Guess my time's up.
你不是个没厢车的废物
You're not a van-less loser.
你只是需要一辆厢车
You just need a... A van.
你觉得如果我问吉尔借钱
Hey, what do you think Jill would say
她会怎么说
if I asked her for a loan?
关键在于你怎么问
It's all about how you ask.
你必须让她觉得这是双赢
You have to make her feel like it's a win-win.
配上可怜的大眼睛绝对有用
And it really helps to throw in the big sad eyes.
我愿意给你任何东西
Wow. I'd give you anything.
好
Okay.
这样如何
How's this?
不错
Good, good.
我完全不认为你会杀了我
I definitely don't feel like you're gonna murder me at all.
真粗鲁
Well, that's rude.
好塔米等你起水泡了别怪我
Okay, Tammy, don't blame me when you get blisters.
我厌倦了当我们的小队长
Oh. I am so tired of having to be scout leader.
"玛乔丽你能当我的互助对象吗"
"Oh, Marjorie, will you be my sponsor?"
然后有人听我的话吗没有
Then does anybody listen to me? No!
对不起
Sorry.
不亲爱的我才对不起
No. Honey, I'm sorry.
我在泄愤看看对你多不好
Here I am venting, and look what it's doing to you.
我都让你紧张性胃疼了
I'm giving you a little anxious tummy.
我觉得不是因为你
I don't think it's you.
我觉得是因为加油站热狗
I think it's the gas station hot dog.
或者是加油站蛋黄酱
Or maybe the gas station mayonnaise.
你不用为我说话
You don't have to protect me.
我把怨气都发泄给了你
I just dumped my toxicity on you.
跟你没关系
It's not about you!
你淋浴间的排水管完全堵了吗
Was the drain in your shower completely clogged?
是的我基本上只洗了脚踝以上
Yeah, I basically took a bath from my ankles down.
公用澡堂的快乐
The joys of communal bathrooms.
我见过更糟的
Ugh. I've seen worse.
大学宿舍吗
College dorm?
监狱
Jail.
只是偶尔各处住几晚
Just a few nights here and there,
但你懂的我试过
but you know, I dipped my toe.
你戒瘾多久了
How long have you been sober?
-快七年了 -不错
- Coming up on seven years. - u202dNice.
很奇怪每次我说的时候总感觉自己在撒谎
It's weird. Every time I say it, I feel like I'm lying,
好像我在某一刻曾喝过酒
like I must've drank at some point.
但没有七年了
But nope, seven years.
我戒了12个月
I've got 12.
我本该戒15个月的但我吃了奈奎尔
I should have 15, but I went out on NyQuil--
专治晚上抽鼻子打喷嚏咳嗽
the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing,
"让你嗨起来"的那种药
"So you can get high as a kite" Medicine.
-那句话真该印在瓶子上 -对
- That really should be on the bottle. u202d- Right.
克丽丝蒂
Hi, Christy!
天啊
Yeesh.
这玩意不只捕到了梦
That thing's caught more than dreams.
发生了什么
What's going on?
温蒂食物中毒了玛乔丽来这里住了
Wendy has food poisoning, Marjorie's here now.
因为热狗吗
The hot dog?
不然呢只要59美分
What do you think? It cost 59 cents.
在我小时候都算便宜
That would've been cheap when I was a child.
瞧瞧
Hey, look at that.
你讲了自己的"玛乔丽老笑话"
You did your own "Marjorie's old" Joke.
鉴于玛乔丽自行搬进来了
Well, since Marjorie's moved herself in,
我要和吉尔去睡了
I'm gonna go bunk with Jill.
别忘了树林里的夕阳聚会
Don't forget the sunset meeting in the woods!
我会穿那双该死的袜子的
I'll wear the damn socks!
我围着大楼转了一圈
I did a lap around the building.
就连厨房♥里的厨子都是女人
Even the cooks in the kitchen are all women.
你怎么能安心睡在那张床单上
How can you lay on that bedspread?
你没测过视力吗
Have you never seen 20/20?
我都挺过了美属萨摩亚的青旅
I survived a youth hostel in American Samoa.
我应该会战胜床上用品
I think I will prevail over bedding.
我也并非总是这样谨小慎微
I wasn't always this prissy.
我在很多公厕的地板上昏倒过
I passed out on so many public bathroom floors,
从来没有再想过那些事
and never even gave it a second thought.
但你戒瘾时你意识到
But when you get sober, you realize
世界真的是很黏糊糊
the world really is so icky.
该死
Damn it!
怎么了
What?
写作很难
Writing! It's hard!
我很会说为什么写不出来
I can talk. How come I can't write?
你的故事讲的是什么
Well, what's your story about?
我尽量不去讨论还在起步阶段的工作
I try not to discuss my work when it's still in its infancy.
你什么都没想到对吧
You don't have squat, do ya?
是啊
Nope.
温蒂吐出了香肠
Wendy yacked up her wiener,
玛乔丽要睡在我们房♥间里
and Marjorie's bunking in our room,
所以我正式加入了
so I am officially in play.
这里吗
Here?
是啊我就睡地板上
Yeah, yeah, I'll just-- I'll crash on the floor.
不你睡我的床
No, no. You take my bed.
你没必要那样做
Oh, no, you don't have to do that.
没事我去跟克丽丝蒂睡
Oh, it's fine. I'll bunk with Christy.
你走之前
Oh. Okay, listen, before you go,
我想问你一件事
there was something I wanted to ask you.
没时间我在打包
Oh. No time. Packing up.
你能看着我吗
But just, could you look at me please?
你在试图给我催眠吗
Are you trying to hypnotize me?
还是在意念取物
Or move something with your mind?
吉尔·肯德尔你熟悉帮助朋友时
Jill Kendall, are you familiar with that great feeling you get
-那种很棒的感受吗 -嗯
- when you help a friend? - Uh-huh.
你有一个独特机会
Well, you have a unique opportunity
来获得那种很棒的感受只用借我买♥♥厢车的钱就行了
to get that great feeling by loaning me money for a van.
从某种程度上来说是双赢
It's a win-win in some way.
我保证会还你的
I promise I'll pay you back.
抱歉塔米
I'm sorry, Tammy.
我爱你我希望你成功
I love you, and I want you to succeed,
但我只是不相信借钱给朋友
but I just don't believe in lending money to friends.
知道了
Got it.
你在模仿克丽丝蒂的眼神
Oh, you were trying to do Christy eyes.
聚会在哪里啊
Where the hell is this meeting?!
我跟你说过了一路跟着箭头
I told you, we follow the arrows
直到走到空地
along the path until the clearing.
我们有阵子没看见箭头了
We haven't seen an arrow in quite a while,
顺说我觉得雨把小路冲没了
and FYI, I think the rain washed away the path.
我们为什么不跟其他人一起走
Why didn't we just leave with the rest of the group?
因为其他人离开时
Because the only one in the lobby
唯一在大厅里的人就是我
when the group left was me.
那里有箭头
There's an arrow!
它是垂直向下的
It's pointing straight down.
原来聚会在地狱里