极品老妈

Mom S07E05

Part 3 Nov. 18, 2019, 1:35 p.m.

And who has the BLT and fries?
我的
That's me.
培根生菜番茄三明治和炸薯条吗
A BLT and fries?
你为什么不在摩托车上吸电子烟
Why don't you just vape on a scooter
同时不接种疫苗呢
while not being vaccinated?
这是火鸡培根
It's turkey bacon.
骗人这是真培根
Liar. That's real bacon.
不是火鸡
No, it's turkey.
真的吗这太好吃了
Seriously? This is delicious.
假培根取得了很大的进步
Fake bacon's come a long way.
下次也许你该考虑信任
Next time, perhaps you should think about trusting
我们的朋友玛乔丽
our friend Marjorie.
谢谢你邦妮
Thank you, Bonnie.
我很欣赏你的新态度
I appreciate your new attitude.
很好因为这就跟排出一粒肾结石
Good 'cause it's about as comfortable
一样舒服
as passing a kidney stone.
太棒了克丽丝蒂来了
Yay, Christy's here.
我知道这听起来很假但我是真心的
I know that came out phony, but I meant it.
法庭怎么样
How did court go?
一场灾难
It was a disaster.
你下次会胜诉的亲爱的
Oh. You'll win next time, sweetie.
不我们胜诉了
No, we won.
一个更喜欢被叫做臭臭的人
A man who prefers to be called Stink
现在重返街头了
is now back on the streets.
显然上帝对我的计划是做一个烂人
Clearly, God's plan for me is to be a terrible person
让其他烂人获得自♥由♥
who sets other terrible people free.
你觉得他会参加
Well, do you think he's gonna come
他外婆的葬礼吗
to his grandmother's memorial?
那报给餐饮供应者的人数就要改了
'Cause that'll change the head count for the caterers.
没什么比蟹腿吃完了更糟糕了
Nothing is worse than running out of crab legs.
那去世呢
What about dying?
蟹腿你也太拼了
Crab legs? You're really going all out.
每个人去世时都应该有一场盛大的派对
Everybody deserves a big party when they're dead.
这可能是我的新事业已故人士派对策划人
This could be my new career. Dead people party planner.
我觉得挺好的
I love that for you.
你应该改改名字但是太好了
I mean, you should work on the name, but yeah.
你在讽刺吗
You being mean?
我都不知道了
I don't even know anymore.
除开托德污染了巧克力喷泉之外
Other than Todd contaminating the chocolate fountain,
这太美了吉尔
this is just beautiful, Jill.
我知道很完美
I know. It's perfect.
只是我为玛丽做了这一切
It's just, I put this whole thing together for Mary,
但我压根不了解她
but I didn't know her at all,
所以我选择了我喜欢的东西
so I picked all the things I like
现在我觉得我像是在参加自己的葬礼
and now I feel like I'm at my own funeral.
没事你还活着
It's okay. You're still alive.
瞧不是你的照片
See? Not your picture.
我没法再经历一次这种事了
Yeah, well, I can't go through this again.
既然你们大部分人都会比我先去世
Since most of y'all are gonna die before me,
我需要知道你们最喜欢的花开胃菜和歌♥曲
I need to know your favorite flower, hors d'oeuvres and song.
水仙花玉米坚果和贝尔·比夫·德沃的《毒药》
Daffodil, corn nuts, and "Poison" By Bell Biv DeVoe.
反正是你的葬礼
Mm. It's your funeral.
我公♥司♥的名字就可以叫这个
That could be the name of my company.
等等温蒂在哪
Hold on, where's Wendy?
你们发现了吗我全靠自己注意到了
Did you notice I noticed that all by myself?
这太有用了
This is working.
我一周都没见到她
I haven't seen her all week.
她没有回复电子邀请函
And she didn't respond to the e-vite.
我要给她打电♥话♥ 有谁知道她的号♥码吗
I'm gonna call her. Does anyone know her number?
天啊玛乔丽
My God. Marjorie.
-玛乔丽 -怎么了
- Marjorie! - What?
怎么了
What?
我还以为你去世了
I thought you were dead.
我是在祈祷
I was praying.
太像了
It's a very similar look.
昨天你以为我去世了就因为我在午睡
Yesterday you thought I was dead because I took a nap.
今早你以为我去世了就因为我
This morning you thought I was dead because I didn't
"洗澡时动静不够大"
"Make enough noise in the shower."
再说一次我很抱歉闯进来
Again, I'm sorry for barging in,
我会重新把门装上的
and I will rehang the door.
坐下
Sit down.
塔米有一天我会去世的
Tammy, someday I'm gonna die,
但我不会整天提心吊胆的
but I'm not gonna spend my life worrying about it.
我知道那是我的工作
I know, that's my job.
不是
No, it's not.
我知道你这样做是因为你关心我
Look, I get that you're doing this 'cause you care about me,
但如果你不停下来你就会在我之前先走一步
but if you don't stop, you're gonna die way before I do.
你在威胁我吗
Are you threatening me?
再碰我的培根你就知道了
Mess with my bacon again and find out.
你来干什么
What are you doing here?
就算你是护士
Even though you're a nurse,
玛丽的死也不是你的责任
you are not responsible for Mary's death.
我知道
I know.
那是怎么了
Then what's going on?
你怎么没去她的葬礼
Why aren't you at her memorial?
我只是不想去
I just didn't feel like going.
谁都不想啊
Well, no one ever feels like it.
今天天气真好也许我们该去公园野餐
"Oh, it's a sunny day, maybe we should have a picnic in the park
然后去参加一场葬礼
and then catch a funeral."
快换衣服你要去
Come on. Get dressed, you're going.
我真的不想去
I really don't want to.
你的朋友们在呢
Your friends are there.
-太对了 -那是什么意思
- Yeah, right. - What's that supposed to mean?
-我的朋友们吗 -是的你的朋友们
- All my "Friends"? - Yes, your friends,
每天跟你见面的人
the people you see every day.
你是说那些根本不了解我的人
You mean the people who don't know me
就像是她们根本不了解玛丽一样吗
any better than they knew Mary?
才不是我们了解你啊
That's not true. We know you.
我是哪里人
Where am I from?
美国啊
The United States of America.
佛罗里达州
Florida.
我们做了五年朋友
We've been friends for five years,
你都不知道我来自佛罗里达州
you don't even know I'm from Florida.
我们做了五年朋友吗
We've been friends for five years?
瞧
See?
行吧这游戏可以两个人玩我是哪里人
Fine, two can play at this game. Where am I from?
你在贝克斯菲尔德出生
You were born in Bakersfield.
你四岁时你妈妈把你遗弃在
Your mother abandoned you at a firehouse
夫勒斯♥诺♥的消防站
in Fresno when you were four.
然后你在12个不同的寄养家庭生活
And then you lived at 12 different foster homes.
我的故事很难忘
Well, my story is very memorable,
特别是我说得还很精彩
especially the way I tell it.
你知道我有两个妈妈吗
Did you know I have two moms?
当时这并不是一件很酷的事
And that was before it was cool.
是吗
Y-You do?
我们住在佛罗里达群岛的船屋里
We lived on a houseboat in the Keys.
太吸引人了
Well, that's fascinating.
我跟你们说了一百次了
I told you that a hundred times,
但没人听我说
but no one listens to me.
有时候我觉得你们留我在身边
Sometimes I think you just keep me around
只是因为你们同情我
because you feel sorry for me.
好吧别再自暴自弃了
Okay. Okay, let's blow out the candles on this pity party.
你是我们团体的重要部分
You are a huge part of this group.
-我才不是 -拜托我复吸的那次
- I am not. - Come on, when I relapsed,
在我脱瘾治疗的时候你从未离开过我
you never left my side while I was detoxing.
就算在我挥拳打你之后
Even after I took a swing at you.
你很忠诚善良陪在所有人身边
You're loyal and kind and you show up for everyone,
不管发生了什么
no matter what.
是的我不大了解
And yes, it's true, I don't know a lot
你接受的拉拉航海教育
about your lesbian seafaring upbringing.
但我的确爱你