极品老妈

Mom S07E16

Part 3 June 23, 2020, 4:09 p.m.

Let me have this.
-准备好了吗 -嗯
- Ready? u202d- Mm.
你练习了吗
Did you practice?
我们家的每一个葡萄柚都准备好生了
Every grapefruit in our house is ready to give birth.
好吧
Okay.
那是什么
What's that?
酒精片
An alcohol wipe.
酒精
Ooh, alcohol.
我们要打给玛乔丽吗
Should we call Marjorie?
不要把它和橄榄一起放在玻璃杯里
Just don't put it in a glass with an olive,
就没事
and we'll be fine.
怎么了
What?
我超怕打♥针♥
I have an intense fear of needles.
所以我成了酒瘾者
Which is why I became an alcoholic,
尽管海♥洛♥因♥的热量更少
even though heroin has less calories.
深呼吸就好
Just breathe. u202d
我应该在你肚脐下两英寸处注射
Now, I'm supposed to inject you two inches under your navel
通过捏住你的一小块脂肪
by pinching a small section of your fat.
好的
'Kay.
别活动肌肉了
All right, stop flexing.
抱歉
Sorry.
压根就没脂肪可捏啊
There's not much to work with here.
我会把这句赞美告诉我的私教
I will pass that compliment on to my trainers,
阿方索和卡蒂亚
Alfonso and Katya.
冷静专心想想这一事实
Calm down. Focus on the fact
你足够幸运能够这样做
that you're lucky enough to be able to do this,
因为不是所有人都可以
'cause not everyone can.
等等
Wait a minute.
你想这样做吗
Do you want to do this?
我吗
Me?
我不知道
I don't know.
无所谓
Doesn't matter.
我付不起钱
I could never afford it.
克丽丝蒂你就像是我的姐妹
Christy, you're like a sister to me.
如果你想冻卵我会帮你付钱的
If you want to freeze your eggs, I'll pay for it.
是吗
You would?
是啊我们可以一起经历这事
Yeah, we could go through this together.
你愿意给我三万美元吗
You would give me $30,000?
我不会给你的
Well, I wouldn't give it to you,
因为你有赌博史
because of, you know, your gambling history,
但我会给冻卵的医生
but I would give it to the egg people.
你真是太大方了
That's so incredibly generous.
好
Okay.
给我打♥针♥吧
Give me the shot.
我已经打了
u202dI already did.
你说要帮我付钱时
When you offered me the money,
我畏缩了针就扎了进去
I flinched and it slid right in.
一点也不疼
Well, that didn't hurt at all.
希望生小孩也这么容易
I hope the baby pops out that easy.
别担心是的
Oh, don't worry. They do.
烤芝士三明治很好吃
This grilled cheese is delicious.
我奇思妙想将切达奶酪和美国干酪混在一起
I went crazy and mixed cheddar with American.
两种奶酪
Two kinds of cheese.
你赚了什么我不知道的钱吗
Did you run into some money I didn't know about?
我要熬夜了
I am gonna be up all night.
怎么了
What's wrong?
吉尔说如果我想冻卵
Jill said if I wanted to freeze my eggs,
她会帮我付钱
she'd pay for it.
你想冻卵吗
Y-You want to freeze your eggs?
我不知道
I don't know.
这有些侵犯
I mean, it's kind of invasive.
他们把针头扎进你的阴♥道♥
They put a needle in your vagina.
好吧
Okay.
我要去遛格斯了
I'm gonna take Gus for a walk.
拜托
Come on!
你想再要一个孩子吗
Would you want to have another kid?
我不介意戒瘾时生个孩子
I wouldn't mind a chance to do it sober.
记得圣诞音乐会
Remembering Christmas concerts,
去看足球比赛
showing up for soccer games,
穿着衣服在出奇老鼠餐厅的
keeping my clothes on in the ball pit
海洋球里玩
at Chuck E. Cheese.
没想过在海洋球里赤身裸体的人
Hey, anyone who doesn't think about getting naked
都是在欺骗自己
in one of those things is lying to themselves.
-谢谢你 -嗯
- Thank you. u202d- Mm.
我想如果我要冻卵
I guess if I'm gonna harvest my eggs,
我现在就该行动
I should do it now.
最近我的大姨妈特别不规律
My period has been extremely irregular lately.
稍等
Hang on, please!
在找绳子
Just looking for the leash!
来的时候
And when my period does come,
简直就像尼亚加拉瀑布
the flow is like Niagara Falls!
喷涌而出
Just whoosh!
我不需要格斯
I don't need Gus!
我就直接走了
I'm just leaving!
嗯
Hmm?
你觉得这是个糟糕的主意吗
Do you think it's a terrible idea?
如果你想这样做
If you want to do it,
我全力支持你
I'm all in.
真的吗
Seriously?
是的去冻卵吧
Yeah. Just put your eggs on ice.
上完法学院后
And then, after law school,
我们让吉尔给你买♥♥奥林匹克运动员的精♥子♥
we'll get Jill to buy you some Olympic sperm,
然后养一个超级宝宝
and we'll raise a super baby.
好吧
Okay.
我们这样做吧
Okay, let's do this.
但我不想一毕业就去买♥♥精
But I wouldn't want to do it right after law school,
因为我想给自己
'cause, you know, I'll want to give myself
几年时间建立事业
a couple years to get established.
那就是五年内
So in five years?
我会努力当合伙人
I might want to try and go for partner,
所以我也许需要九年时间
so I may need nine.
好吧很棒那么
Okay, great. So...
你孩子高中毕业时你就
when the kid graduates high school, you'll be, uh...
68岁了
...68.
如果我没算错我就
And if my math is correct, I'll be...
67岁了
...67.
你确定吗
Mm, but are you sure?
因为听起来你不想要孩子
Because it sounds like you don't want to have a baby--
你想要事业
you want to have a career.
那我为什么在考虑要孩子呢
Well, then why am I considering having a baby?
因为你没进模拟法庭
Because you didn't get into moot court.
太荒唐了
That's ridiculous.
等着吧
Wait for it.
该死这里没人
Oh. Damn, there's no one here.
天啊
Oh, my God.
我要生孩子是因为
I was totally about to have a baby
我没有拿到
because I didn't get a part
法学院剧中的角色
in what is basically the law school play.
我怀上你是因为我需要从跳蚤市场搭车回家
Hey, I had you because I needed a ride home from a flea market.
娜塔莉
Natalie!
我在这
In here!
你喜欢这条裙子吗告诉我实话
Do you like this dress? Tell me the truth.
我喜欢
I love it.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
我现在荷尔蒙分泌旺盛
'Cause I'm so hopped up on hormones,
都不知道自己是谁了
I don't know who I am anymore.
花比平常更多
It's more flowers than usual.
你讨厌它
You hate it.
我看起来就像变装皇后的葬礼花圈
I look like a funeral wreath for a drag queen.
不不不你穿着很美
No, no, no, no, no, no. You really pull it off.
我也觉得