极品老妈

Mom S07E13

Part 2 Feb. 23, 2020, 9:06 a.m.

Chef Rudy.
鲁迪主厨怎么了
What's wrong with Chef Rudy?
顺便说句我们能只叫他鲁迪吗
By the way, can we just call him Rudy?
他睡完女人就甩
He sleeps with women, then dumps them.
我对塔米说她绝对不能和他约会
I told Tammy absolutely no way can she go out with him.
你不能这样做你不能拦一个酒瘾者
You can't do that. You can't tell an alcoholic no.
在他们看来这相当于挑战
They hear, "I dare you."
看看你不让我和亚当约会的结果
Look what happened when you told me not to go out with Adam.
等等什么
Wait, what?
我从没说过你别和他约会
I never told you not to go out with him.
-那我为什么和他约会 -等等
- Then why did I? - Hang on a second.
不不一定有人说过"别和他约会"
No, no, somebody had to say, "Don't date him."
没人拦着我我是不会找他的
There's no way I ended up with him if I didn't get pushback.
你认为我应该告诉塔米
Oh, you think I should've told Tammy,
"鲁迪主厨特好去找他吧"
"Oh, Chef Rudy's great! Go for it!"
再说一次我们从不说"亚当酒保"
Again, we don't say "Bartender Adam"
或"邦妮大楼管♥理♥员♥"
or "Building Manager Bonnie."
我当时对你这样说
I mean, would that have worked with you
你难道就不约鲁迪主厨了吗
when you dated Chef Rudy?
你和鲁迪主厨约会过吗
Whoa, whoa. You dated Chef Rudy?
约会过一次
One date.
所以没有肉体接触咯
Oh. So, like, nothing physical.
约会过一次
One date.
老天啊
Good God!
我能比你更吵
I can be louder than you.
你有问题吗
You got a problem?
是的伴着你的民工交响乐
Yes. How am I supposed to create a pretentious menu
我还怎么写高雅菜单
to your symphony of blue-collar noises?
你是说这个吗这令你厌烦吗
You mean this? This bothering you? Eh?
我不知道有什么好烦的为什么
I don't know. I don't see it. Why?
克丽丝蒂
Christy.
你能把这个
Would you please return this woman
你从超♥市♥停车场找的女人送回去吗
to whatever Home Depot parking lot you found her.
告诉这个在《顶级大厨》第一轮被淘汰的废柴
And tell this Top Chef first round loser--
没错我上网搜过你
that's right, I googled you--
在我修完
that I will leave
他留的烂摊子后我就走
when I'm finished fixing the mess he made.
如果你只搜到了这个你就不会搜
If that's the only thing you found, you don't google right.
她是个很差劲的人
She's a horrible person.
很好她确实是
Good. Good. Yes, she is.
奇怪的回应
Strange response.
你为什么不想让我喜欢你的朋友
Why would you want me not to like your friend?
-我没有啊 -啊哈
-No, it isn't. - Aha.
为什么
What is it?
一般知道了理由才能喊"啊哈"
You're only supposed to say "Aha" If you know what it is.
-所以确实有理由 -没有
- So there is something. - There's nothing.
-啊哈 -够了
- Aha! - Stop that!
你在隐瞒某些事
You're hiding something.
你不成比例的大眼睛突然变小了
Your freakishly large eyes have suddenly gone small.
我的眼睛比例很正常
My eyes are exactly the right size.
我们能只谈菜单吗
Can we just talk about the menu?
好我觉得特色鱼...
Okay. I'm thinking for the fish special...
保拉·迪恩啊[著名女主厨] 塔米喜欢我
Oh, sweet Paula Deen, Tammy digs me.
什么不不
What? No! No!
不
No!
天啊
Oh, my God!
你怎么动作这么快
How did you do that so fast?
吸入爱
Breathe in love.
呼出邦妮
Breathe out Bonnie.
吸入爱
Breathe in love.
呼出邦妮
Breathe out Bonnie.
太无聊了
This is so boring.
呼出更多邦妮
Breathe out more Bonnie.
头晕了我们再来一次
Ooh, head rush. Let's do that again.
好我们试点新招
Okay, let's do something new.
我们呼吸十次
We're gonna take ten breaths,
你不能说话
and you're not gonna talk.
好主意
Great idea.
-一 -不能数
- One. - u202dNo counting.
抱歉
Sorry.
你到底想要我帮你不
Do you want my help or not?
我想我对你直说吧
I do. I do. Let me just toss this at you.
我们能去按♥摩♥浴缸冥想吗
Can we meditate in the Jacuzzi?
拜托邦妮
Come on, Bonnie.
我专门为你腾出了一下午
I cleared my afternoon for you.
你"腾出了" 你具体有什么事
You "Cleared it"? What did that involve?
把骑小马改到明天吗
Moving your pony ride to tomorrow?
实际上我推迟了
Actually, I rescheduled a meeting
本来要主持的慈善机构筹款会
with the charity I'm hosting the benefit for.
儿童糖尿病基金会
Children's diabetes.
取笑这事吧
Make fun of that.
老娘能吃到更多糖果啦
More candy for me.
牛逼吧
Boom.
只能在最开始敲它
You only ding it in the beginning.
好吧我走了
Okay, I am out of here!
给我
Give me that!
我要把你的鞋子扔进泳池
I am throwing your shoes in the pool!
她很生我的气
She was pretty pissed off at me.
但是我得为自己辩解谁会买♥♥600美元的冥想鞋啊
But in my defense, who has $600 meditation shoes?
你这身打扮是怎么回事
What's with the getup?
你和海狸·克莱弗去抓牛蛙了吗
You and Beaver Cleaver going hunting for bullfrogs?
我真是受够你了
Oh, I'm so tired of you.
继续聊吉尔吧
Let's stay on Jill.
我觉得她说得对
So, it seems to me like she was right.
你去那里不是为了冥想
You didn't go there for meditation.
这就是你老婆甩掉你的原因吗
Whoa! Is this why your wife flew the coop?
你也不支持她吗
You didn't have her back, either?
这是你的行为模式邦妮
This is your pattern, Bonnie.
你接连不停地抱怨
You complain and complain and complain.
别人为你提供了帮忙的工具但你不用
You're offered the tools to help, and you don't use them.
我为什么要听从你的建议
Why am I taking your advice?
你的生活一团糟
Your life's a total mess.
现在你跟我吵起来了
Now you're picking a fight with me.
像你这样的人有个专门的术语
There's a term for people like you.
注意点伙计我还是个淑女
Watch it, buddy. I am still a lady.
你是拒绝帮助的抱怨者
You're a help-rejecting complainer.
这是你瞎编的
You just made that up.
我没有如果现在是上周
I did not. And if this was last week,
我本可以给你看书里的原文
I could've showed you where it came from in a book,
但那本书现在已经在去波特兰的路上了
but it's on its way to a new life in Portland by now.
我不需要你给我取外号♥
Well, I don't need you to call me names.
我需要你帮我
I need you to help me.
你从未帮过我
It's the one thing you've never done.
知道吗你被炒了
You know what? You're fired.
恭喜我比刚来时更疯狂了
Congratulations. I'm crazier than when I started.
看出行为模式了吗女人都离开你了
You see a pattern here? Women leaving?
我为你做了一份可口的松饼球
I prepared for you a savory aebleskive.
为了纪念我猜想的
In honor of what I can only presume
你的维京祖先
were your Viking ancestors.
我有丹麦血统
Well, I am part Danish.
其余的就是纯杂种了
The rest of me is pure mutt.
纯...
Pure...
尝起来像是高档的薄煎饼
Tastes like a fancy pancake.
要是《纪事报》的评论家
If only the critic at The Chronicle
有你这样敏锐的味蕾就好了
had your discerning palate.
你一直都想当主厨吗
So, did you always want to be a chef?
不我长大时很讨厌烹饪
No. I hated cooking growing up.
我想成为舞者
I wanted to be a dancer.
但我受到了诅咒很不擅长我爱的事
But I was cursed to be terrible at the thing I loved
很擅长我恨的事
and great at the thing I hated.
太悲惨了