极品老妈

Mom S07E03

Part 3 Nov. 18, 2019, 1:34 p.m.

I'm gonna save you some time.
这房♥间里的一切里都有大♥麻♥ 包括我
Everything in this room has pot in it. Including me.
这个包呢
What about this bag?
是大♥麻♥做的
It's made of hemp.
我想买♥♥这个包我可以买♥♥这个包
I want to buy that bag. I'm allowed to buy that bag.
瞧瞧这个打折
Oh, check it out. This one's on sale.
大♥麻♥还打折吗
Pot goes on sale?
我以前需要做些事情才能打折
I used to have to do things to get a discount.
幸运的是厄尔并不丑
Fortunately, Earl was not bad-looking.
虽然他睡在购物车里
For someone who slept in a shopping cart.
给你
Here you go.
因为你是第一次光临
Since you're a first-time customer,
送你一些小熊软糖和棒棒糖
throw in some gummy bears and lollipops.
当你说"小熊软糖和棒棒糖"时
And when you say "Gummy bears and lollipops..."
是的里面有大♥麻♥
Yes, they have pot in them.
该死
Son of a biscuit!
你不是一碗掺了大♥麻♥的麦圈
You're not a bowl of marijuana-infused Cheerios,
但你依然很可口
but you're still pretty good.
那真好玩但我再也不会去了
That was fun, but I'd never do it again.
他们把大♥麻♥搞得快快乐乐的
They make it look all happy-happy, joy-joy,
这让我很难记起来对我来说
which makes it hard to remember that for me
这导致了凄凄惨惨
it led to crappy-crappy, sad-sad.
我也是
Me, too.
现在大♥麻♥合法了我去哪里
And now that it's legal, I can't go anywhere
都能闻到那香香甜甜的气味
without walking through a cloud of that sweet, sweet odor.
是的现在到处都是那味道
It's true. It's everywhere now.
酒也是啊
So is alcohol.
是啊但我走在人行道时
Yeah, but I don't walk down the sidewalk
并不会有一杯酒迎面扑来
and get a glass of wine thrown in my face.
有次是果冻但是公平来说
One time Jell-O, but to be fair,
我对那小男孩挺刻薄的
I was... I was pretty mean to that little boy.
也许当你成为邦妮·贾尼考斯基时
Maybe you'll be a nicer person
你的脾气会变好
when you become Bonnie Janikowski.
不大可能
Not likely.
对哦你今天去改姓了
Oh, yeah, you did that today.
她没有
No, she did not.
是我说漏嘴了吗
Oh. Oops, did I let that slip?
为什么
Why?
我不知道
I don't, I don't know.
感觉不对劲
Something about it didn't feel right.
也许是因为你年纪很大了
Maybe it's 'cause you're so old.
你干什么
What are you doing?
这可是个手很长的暴♥力♥女人
This is a violent woman with a long reach.
我只是说 25岁的女人
I just mean when a 25-year-old woman
改姓氏不算什么
changes her name, it's no big deal.
但对于一个暮年时期的人来说就难多了
But it's much harder for someone in their twilight years.
快打她吧是她自找的
Oh, just go on and hit her. She's asking for it.
说这话真是要了我的命但温蒂有道理
It kills me to say this, but Wendy has a point.
我这辈子都是邦妮·普兰科特
I've been Bonnie Plunkett my whole life.
我有种感觉我该保持如此
And something's telling me I should stay that way.
亲爱的如果你这么纠结
Mm. Honey, if you're this conflicted,
你该和亚当谈谈
you should talk to Adam.
别忘记告诉他你之前撒谎了
Don't forget to tell him you lied earlier.
哎呀
Oops.
你为什么不直接用连字符
Why the hell don't you just hyphenate?
邦妮·普兰科特-贾尼考斯基老娘是字母表吗
Bonnie Plunkett-Janikowski? What am I, the alphabet?
我刚和萨德的助理查德聊过了
I just talked to Thad's assistant Chad--
是的你没听错
Yes, you heard that right.
他们迟到了所以你有一些时间
Uh, they're running late, so you have some time.
你没冲我吼你没事吧
You're not yelling at me. Are you okay?
你真美
Aren't you pretty.
你在干什么啊
What you got going on there?
我感觉有点累所以我多吃了阿得拉
I was feeling kind of tired, so I took extra Adderall.
接着我觉得很神经质
Then I felt jumpy,
所以吃了一些大♥麻♥软糖
so I ate a couple pot gummies.
然后我忘记了我吃了软糖所以我吃了更多软糖
Then I forgot I ate the gummies, so I ate more gummies.
查德和萨德我刚懂这个梗
Chad and Thad-- I just got that.
我也许没法开这个会了
I may not be able to handle this meeting.
你有卸妆水吗
Do you have makeup remover
或者带面纱的帽子
or a hat with a veil?
这是我第一次吃小熊软糖感觉并不好
This is my first gummy bear experience, and it's not good.
这是我的总结
Here are my takeaways.
首先别吃九颗
A. Don't eat nine.
其次我要死了
B. I'm gonna die.
也许我该重新安排会议时间
Maybe I should reschedule the meeting.
不我们需要这个客户因为
No. We need this client because...
这家公♥司♥有麻烦了
this firm is in trouble.
我们差这么一点就破产了
We are this close to bankruptcy,
我们刚花了不少钱买♥♥新椅子
and we just spent a lot of money on new chairs.
太蠢了
It was so dumb.
维罗妮卡这是典型的
Veronica, this is a classic
"磕太嗨/恐慌发作"情况
"Too high slash panic attack" Situation.
是的感觉没错
Yep, yep, that feels right.
开那扇窗我想跳下去
Open that window. I want to jump out.
看着我的眼睛跟我重复
Look in my eyes and repeat after me:
我没事
I am okay.
你没事
You are okay.
不你没事
No, you are okay.
不你没事
No, you are okay.
我试图让你说"我没事"
I am trying to get you to say "I am okay."
但我有事我永远也不会没事
But I am so not okay, and I'll never be okay!
好吧我得扇你耳光了
All right! I'm gonna have to slap you.
快扇
Do it!
不行我不能扇我老板
Ugh! I can't! I can't slap my boss!
快扇
Do it!
说点刻薄的话
Say something mean.
告诉我我是个糟糕的助理
Tell me I'm a terrible assistant.
告诉你我以为你早知道了
Tell you? I thought you already knew.
那有帮助
Hey! That helped!
再来一次
Let's go again!
我没磕嗨
I'm not high!
该死你回家了
Ah, damn it, you're home.
我们现在要说真话了啊
Oh, we're just telling each other the truth now?
好吧你的发型太可笑了
Okay, your hair is ridiculous.
不我给你买♥♥了一份礼物我想给你惊喜
No, I got you a gift, and I wanted to surprise you with it.
我的发型有什么问题
And-and what-what's wrong with my hair?
它看起来要逃跑
It looks like it's trying to escape.
给我礼物
Give me my present.
我给我们买♥♥了一块新的欢迎垫
I ordered us a new welcome mat
上面写着贾尼考斯基一家
that says "The Janikowskis"
因为我们现在就是那样
'cause that's who we are now.
太
That is...
有爱了
so sweet.
是啊
Yeah.
但我觉得我不配
And yet I feel I don't deserve it.
为什么
Why not?
因为我们中只有一个人姓贾尼考斯基
Because only one of us is a Janikowski.
我没去社保办公室
I didn't, uh, go to the Social Security office.
你骗了我
You lied to me?
我觉得我是在昨天告诉了你今天的真♥相♥
Well, I thought I was telling you today's truth yesterday.
我能看出你为什么懵了
I-I can see why you're confused.
发生了什么
So... what happened?
我脑海里有个声音在说别这样做
I just have this little voice saying, "Don't do it."
问题是我这大半辈子都讨厌当
The-the thing is, I-I hated being Bonnie Plunkett
邦妮·普兰科特
for most of my life.
我曾是酒鬼小偷糟糕的妈妈
I was a drunk, a-a thief, a terrible mother.
我感觉一无是处支离破碎
I-I felt worthless and broken.
但我努力改变了自己
But then I did all this work on myself,
我终于爱上了邦妮·普兰科特
and I finally love Bonnie Plunkett,
我没准备好改姓
and I just, I'm not ready to let her go.
我不知道你这样想