极品老妈

Mom S07E06

Part 1 Nov. 18, 2019, 1:35 p.m.

你也许应该在结婚之前
You know, you might want to tell your bride
先告诉新娘你有这么多本心理自助书
about all the self-help books you own before you get married.
那就是一个阶段
It was a phase.
你找到"内心深处的孩子"了吗
And did you ever find "The child within"?
找到了我娶了她
Yeah, I married her.
每打开一个我的盒子你都要评价一番吗
You gonna comment on every box we're gonna unpack that's mine?
谁让你娶了个孩子
You're the one who married a child.
《巴顿将军》
Ooh. Patton,
《十二金刚》《胜利大逃亡》
The Dirty Dozen, The Great Escape.
我们知道了你有鸡鸡
We get it. You have a penis.
如果你现在才知道
If you're only finding that out now,
我显然做错了什么
I'm doing something wrong.
奥斯卡警报
Ooh, Oscar alert.
《街区赛车2》
Street Racer 2.
那不是真电影
That's not the actual movie.
不过是我和特技演员朋友
That's just some video with me and my stunt buddies
在片场胡闹的视频
screwing around on set.
-我们一定要看看 -是吗
- Oh, we got to fire that up. - We do?
人人都说我留着录像机是疯了
Everyone said I was crazy to save this VCR machine.
现在看看谁疯了
Who's crazy now?
我的手♥机♥呢我的手♥机♥呢
Oh, where's my phone, where's my phone, where's my phone?
在你手里在你手里
In your hand, in your hand, in your hand.
是的谢谢
Oh. Yes, thank you.
我的钥匙呢
Now, where are my keys?
来看看我们要观赏亚当的老自♥制♥电影
Check it out. We're gonna watch some of Adam's old home movies.
不行我得去取老板的干洗衣物
Can't. I have to pick up my boss's dry cleaning.
有人会说这降身份
Some would say demeaning.
我说这是我走上人生巅峰的第一步
I say phase one of my rocket ride to the top.
乐观主义戒瘾女人的可♥卡♥因♥
Optimism, the sober woman's cocaine.
看看你
Oh, look at you.
穿着小赛车服真可爱
So cute in your little race car outfit.
那是合格的防火赛车服
That's a certified fireproof racing suit.
有人穿着那衣服死了
Men have died in those.
我想啃掉你穿着那身衣服的小脸蛋
And I just want to eat up your little face in it.
天啊
Oh, my God.
你在走路
Hey. You're walking.
是啊我曾经能走路能跑步
Yeah, I used to walk. I used to run.
能像白人一样跳舞
I used to dance like a white guy.
舞技还在
Still got it.
看看那些女孩她们都缠着你
Check out all the girls. They're all over you.
那是切瑞·拉德吗
Is that Cheryl Ladd?
不那是她的替身
No, it's her stunt double.
但几瓶啤酒过后
But after a few beers,
她就是切瑞·拉德了
it's Cheryl Ladd.
我在做什么我得走了
What am I doing? I got to go.
太好了
Oh. Good.
我戴着胸罩
Yes, I am wearing a bra.
出发
Onward!
好了
Okay,
我们把这些盒子还有其他
let's take all these boxes and stuff 'em under the bed
我不知为何留下的东西放床底下吧
with the rest of the stuff I don't know why I keep.
好
Yeah.
来了
Coming.
我将要让某个上耶鲁戏剧学院的人
I'm about to make someone who went to Yale Drama School
显得像是他会开赛车一样
look like they know how to drive a race car.
火力全开
On fire.
戴胸罩了
Got the bra.
忘穿内♥裤♥了
Forgot the panties.
极品老妈第七季第六集
克丽丝蒂我的干洗衣物呢
Christy, where the hell's my dry cleaning?
-克丽丝蒂 -我来了我来了
- Christy! ‭- I'm here! I'm here!
该死的鳄梨吐司在我的衬衫上拉了一坨大绿屎
Stupid avocado toast took a big green dump on my blouse.
-真抱歉我的车坏了 -衬衫
- I'm so sorry. My car broke down... - Blouse.
车被拖到了偏僻的修车厂
So it got towed to a shop in the middle of nowhere,
我好像看到了一个人在弹班卓琴
and I think I saw a guy playing banjo.
当然了在那里叫不到优步
And, of course, I couldn't get an Uber,
所以我只能坐公交...
so I had to take the bus, and...
-扣子 -好的
- Buttons. ‭- Yep. Yeah.
好我很惊讶
Okay. And I was so surprised,
因为那辆车相当新
because it's a fairly new car.
-跟我一起走 -好
- Move with me. - ‭Yeah.
我从前夫那里买♥♥的
Um, I bought it from my ex-husband,
-我不知道... -你能闭嘴吗
- which, I don't know... - Will you shut up?
我刚把"我从前夫那里买♥♥的"发给了法官
I just texted "I bought it from my ex-husband" to a judge.
我的咖啡在哪
Where is my coffee?
再说一次
Um, well, again,
我的车坏了所以我没买♥♥上
uh, my car is broken down and so I couldn't get it.
我回来的时候最好放在桌子上
Well, it better be on my desk by the time I get back.
如果我不喝咖啡
If I don't have my coffee,
我会很刻薄
I'm mean.
我还是个女人
I'm still a woman.
遵命先生
Yes, sir.
我今天没什么好谈的
Well, I got nothing to talk about today.
好
Okay.
你想怎样
So, what's the deal?
一句话不说直到我受不了寂静
You don't say anything until I can't stand the silence
开始巴拉巴拉说自己吗
and then I start yapping about myself?
心理医生学校是这样教你的吗
That's, uh, what they teach you in shrink school?
第一天就教了
First day.
事出有因我看到亚当走路了
Well, not for nothing, I saw Adam walking.
在一个老录像带里
In an old videotape.
他现在坐着轮椅
He's in a wheelchair, you know.
我知道你说话时我有认真听
Yes, I know. I actually listen when you speak.
看到亚当走路
So, seeing Adam walk,
让你有何感受
how did that make you feel?
心理医生学校第二天课程吗
Shrink school day two?
我们入学前基本都会这招了
We all come in pretty much knowing that one.
这让我觉得亚当和我没谈过
it made me feel like Adam and I don't talk
那场事故让他有何感受
about how the accident made him feel.
你们从没谈过吗
You've never discussed it?
早期谈过
Early on.
他告诉我他踩着滑雪板掉下了悬崖
He told me he flew off a cliff on a snowboard
摔断了椎骨
and snapped his vertebrae.
但他说得性感可爱
But he, you know, made it sound sexy and cute,
像是初次约会时的玩笑
like first date banter.
但之后没谈过吗
But nothing since then?
我们看《歪心狼》时我开过玩笑
I make jokes when we watch Wile E. Coyote.
比如他跑出悬崖向下看时才意识到没路了
Like when he runs off the cliff but he doesn't realize it
然后他举起一个牌子
till he looks down and then he holds up a sign
上面写着"糟了"
that says, "Yikes."
是的亚当也没笑
Yeah, Adam doesn't laugh either.
关键是
The thing is...
他从不认真谈发生的事
he never gets real about what happened.
他也许不想谈
He may not want to.
你什么意思
What's your point?
他...也许...不...
He... may... not...
想...谈
want... to.
但我想谈
But I want to.
我是他的妻子
I'm his wife.
我们应该能谈这么重要的事
We should be able to talk about something as important as this.
但如果他不想谈你应该尊重他的意愿
But if he doesn't, you have to respect his wishes
并接受这点
and accept that.
好了一次
Okay, that's one.
你知道你每个疗程只能"呸"两次
You know you're only allowed two per session.
问题是
The thing is,
我不想跟一个孤岛结婚
I don't want to be married to someone who's an island.
我想要真正的伴侣
I want a real partner.
你知道我从没见他哭过吗
Do you know I've never seen him cry?
就一次当他听说突袭者队要搬去拉斯维加斯时
Well, once-- when he heard the Raiders were moving to Vegas.
那天对很多人来说都是难受的一天
That was a hard day for a lot of people.
我只是希望他对我能更敞开心扉