极品老妈

Mom S07E15

Part 1 Feb. 23, 2020, 9:06 a.m.

我点西南沙拉
And I'll have the southwestern salad.
但是呢
But?
不要玉米不要豆子不要鳄梨
No corn, no beans, no avocado.
所以是一碗生菜加奶酪
So a bowl of lettuce with some cheese?
对切达奶酪换成胡椒奶酪
Yes, please. Pepper Jack instead of cheddar.
你们从不令人失望
You people never disappoint.
好点完餐了
Okay, we ordered.
你来说你的新闻还是我来说
Are you gonna tell them your news, or do I have to?
我不确定这算不算新闻
I'm not sure it's really news.
她在加拿大戒瘾者欢乐会认识的那个韦恩
That guy Wayne she met at the sober jamboree in Canada
要来约炮了
is coming down for a booty call.
-玛乔丽 -别这样
- Marjorie! - u202dOh. u202dStop.
我们之间没发生过什么
Nothing's happened between us.
只是有一点火花
There was just a little energy.
如果你结婚我来当伴娘
If you get married, I call maid of honor.
我为什么要这样说
Why would I do that?
他们视频连线过两次她两次都涂口红了
They've Skyped twice and she's worn lipstick both times.
你确实经常窥探是不是
Oh, you do lurk a lot, don't you?
超乎你的想象
More than you know.
他还给她发了自己狗的照片
Ooh, and he sent her pictures of his dogs.
他爱狗
Oh. He's a dog person.
这不是坏事
That's not bad.
这是即将上演的浪漫喜剧
It's a romantic comedy waiting to happen.
他爱狗她爱猫
He likes dogs, she likes cats.
喵这段感情一定汪
Meow, this relationship's gonna be "Ruff."
拜托你们一定会看这部电影
Come on! You would see that movie.
所以睡觉是怎么安排的
So what are the sleeping arrangements gonna be?
别激动只是周五一起吃个晚餐
Settle down. It's just gonna be dinner on Friday.
我们都知道周五晚餐等于周六早餐
We all know dinner Friday means breakfast Saturday.
我会给你们做煎饼如果这不算太窥探的话
I'll make you guys pancakes, if that's not too lurky.
我要薯条和健怡可乐
I need fries and a Diet Coke.
不要盐番茄酱换成农场酱
No salt, ranch instead of ketchup.
我遇到危机了
I am in crisis.
发生了什么
What's going on?
你们知道本周末
Well, you know how I'm hosting
我要主持大型慈善活动吧
that big charity event this weekend?
我们没受邀请的那个知道
That we're not invited to, yes.
捐1500美元你就能受邀请
Well, come up with $1,500, you're invited.
我在开玩笑你为什么要这么刻薄
We're having a nice time here, why you got to be mean?
总之我拿出了古董银餐具来抛光
Anyway, I got out my antique silverware to have it polished
结果发现丢了几件
and a bunch of it is missing.
有时候我很确定
u202dOh, sometimes I'm positive
丢了的东西只是我放错地方了
something is missing, and I've just misplaced it.
你觉得我有可能拿出12个叉子
You think I took 12 forks,
八个勺子三把刀一个长柄杓
eight spoons, three knives, a ladle
然后不小心忘在了泳池边吗
and then absentmindedly left them out by the pool?
你觉得是怎么回事
What do you think happened?
我不想这样说但我觉得管家是内贼
I hate to say it, but I think my housekeeper stole from me.
哪个管家
Which one?
我不知道所以只能两个都炒了
I don't know, so I'm gonna have to fire them both.
但要等到派对后
But not till after the party
因为她们都很擅长自己的工作
'cause they're both really good at their jobs.
亲爱的你不能确定是她们
Honey, y-you don't know for sure it was them.
除了她们谁还有机会入室作案呢
Well, who else had access and opportunity?
我马上回来吉尔
Be right back, Jill.
五年前
我找点茶叶
I'm just, uh, looking for some tea.
天啊
Oh! God.
我刚想到了玛乔丽和韦恩亲热的样子
I just flashed on Marjorie and Wayne making out.
我为什么要这样做
Why would I do that?
极品老妈第七季第十五集
你好吗
Hey, how are you doing?
你在做什么
What-what are you doing?
读一个农民
Reading about a farmer
在1♥8♥9♥7年告了铁路的案件
who sued a railroad in 1♥8♥9♥7.
比听起来更无聊
It's a lot more boring than it sounds.
真好笑
Ha! Good one.
这是喊叫的那个女教授的课吗
Is this for the, uh, class with that lady professor that yells?
真奇怪我觉得她对女人
It's weird. I feel like she's so much harder
比对男人更严厉
on the women than the men.
也许她想让我们更强大
Maybe she's trying to make us stronger
好挑战男权社会
so we can take on the patriarchy.
嗯我偷了银餐具
Uh-huh, uh-huh. I stole the silverware.
什么
What?
吉尔的银餐具五年前我偷的
Jill's silverware. Five years ago. Me.
-你怎么能这样做 -我们当时几乎无家可归
- How could you do that? - We were practically homeless.
为自己辩解一句我当时不知道
And in my defense, I had no idea
我们会像现在这么喜欢她
we were gonna like her as much as we do.
你为什么没告诉我
Why didn't you tell me?
-我忘了 -你忘了
- I forgot. u202d- You forgot?
你知道我的习惯当我对某事感到羞愧时
You know that thing I do when I'm ashamed of something
我会埋在心底直到我忘记
I've done, I shove it way down until I forget about it?
这件事亦如是
I did that with this.
你真是难以置信
You're unbelievable.
那是很久以前我都没怎么戒瘾
It was a long time ago. I was barely sober.
面对现实吧我谁都偷
And let's be honest, I stole from everybody.
谁都偷吗
Everybody?
不是
No.
你必须告诉吉尔
Well, you got to tell Jill.
你说得对
You're right, you're right, you're right.
我想给她一封我死后才能开封的信
I'm thinking a sealed letter she can open after I die.
也许是一系列神秘线索
Maybe a series of cryptic clues.
在我的葬礼上老少都能玩
Could be fun for all ages at my funeral.
大家都没睡啊
Hey, everyone's up.
发生了什么
What's going on?
我刚想起来我五年前
I just remembered I stole a bunch of silverware
偷了几件吉尔的银餐具
from Jill five years ago.
好晚安
Okay, good night.
看吧他懂我
See? He gets me.
既然你没有蓝绣球花
Well, if you don't have blue hydrangeas,
为什么还要我订12份
why would you let me order 12 arrangements
蓝绣球花插花
featuring blue hydrangeas?
进来
Come on in.
你怎么敢对我说康乃馨
You did not just say carnations to me.
这是筹款会不是阿巴拉契亚舞会
This is a benefit, not an Appalachian prom.
我告诉你
Ooh, I tell you what,
我要深呼吸几口缓缓
I'm gonna take some deep cleansing breaths
你再找一个对花卉有一丁点想象力的人
while you have somebody with a tiny shred
给我打电♥话♥吧
of floral imagination call me.
我对天发誓
Ooh! I swear to God,
拯救那些糖尿病小孩要烦死我了
saving these little diabetes kids is gonna kill me.
你能做这件事真是善良
You are such a good person to be doing this.
对梅兰妮·柯克帕特里克这样说吧
Yeah, well, tell that to Melanie Kirkpatrick.
她是我俱乐部的活动委员会主席
She's head of the event committee at my club.
她不想让我主持这个活动
She did not want me hosting this.
她依然不能原谅有次我喝醉了
She's still not over the time I got drunk
放生了慈善海鲜烧烤会上的龙虾
and set the lobsters free at the charity clambake.
晚餐加表演她应该感谢你
Dinner and a show. She should be thanking you.
我只是非常希望能顺利进行
Oh, I just really need it to go well
这样我就能重拾风光了
so I can get back on the A-list.
而且是为了孩子
And the kids. And the kids.
一定会大成功的
It's gonna be a huge success,
他们会捐很多钱
they're gonna donate a lot of money,
所有人都会爱你
everybody's gonna love you,
我偷了你的银餐具
I stole your silverware.
你说什么
What... what was that?
大成功很多钱所有人都爱你
Huge success, lot of money, everyone loves you.
就这样
I think that was it.
你偷的
You stole it?
我当时很绝望我做了一件很糟糕的事
I was desperate. I did a terrible thing.
但你和我在一个
But you and I are in a program