极品老妈

Mom S07E18

Part 2 June 23, 2020, 4:09 p.m.

你在上我的行政法学课吗
Aren't you in my administrative law class?
温斯洛教授我没看到你
Professor Winslow, I-I didn't see you.
是的
Yes.
你看起来很糟
You look awful.
谢谢
Thank you.
我不知道你有了小宝宝
I didn't realize you had a baby.
如果我又要带孩子又要上法学院我会死掉的
If I'd done law school with a baby, I'd be dead.
不她不是...
Oh, well, no, she's not...
那个...
Well...
确实很难
it is hard.
所以这就是为什么
So this is why
你总是迟到分心和毫无准备吗
you're always late and distracted and unprepared?
两者兼顾就是这样
That's what you get for trying to have it all.
我不知道你有这样的难处
Well, I didn't realize what you were dealing with.
但我会对你妈妈更有耐心的
But I'm gonna be more patient with your mommy
因为我现在知道了她为什么一团糟
now that I realize why she's such a mess.
坚持住
Hang in there.
我会的
I will!
我高中怀孕时怎么没这种待遇
Where was this treatment when I got pregnant in high school?
我收到你的短♥信♥了发生了什么
Got your text. What's going on?
我以为我过敏了
I thought I was having an allergy attack,
但我好像得了别的病
but I think I'm coming down with something.
猫不会传染给你什么病对吧
You can't catch anything from a cat, right?
你对猫做了什么
What were you doing with it?
-帮我照顾一下孩子 -好闪边
- Just take over with the baby. - All right. All right, step aside.
让我教你怎么带孩子
Let me show you how this is done.
晚了40年但是行吧
40 years late, but okay.
我做了一件
Hey, I did something
可能不道德的事
morally questionable.
还是关于猫的事吗
Is this about the cat again?
我在药店遇见了我的教授
I ran into my professor at the pharmacy
让她误以为索菲亚是我女儿
and let her believe Sophia's my baby,
现在她以为我的生活很艰苦
and now she thinks I have a super hard life,
她会给我特别优待
and she's gonna give me special treatment.
快说到不道德的部分
Hit me with the morally questionable part.
就是这个我骗了她
That's it. I lied to her.
首先这听起来像是不言之谎
First of all, that sounds like a lie of omission,
没人把这当做说谎
and nobody counts those.
但更重要的是你的生活本来就很苦
But more importantly, your life is hard.
是的但我没有小宝宝
Yeah, but I don't have a baby.
所以你的生活在另一方面很难
So your life is hard in different ways.
你有大概27种瘾 12份工作
You've got, like, 27 addictions and 12 jobs.
好吧只有两种瘾
Okay, it's only two addictions.
目前已知的
That we know about.
亲爱的你的人生就像一锅翔
Honey, your life is a crapfest
外面裹着噩梦架在着火的垃圾堆上烧
wrapped in a nightmare on top of a dumpster fire.
很好现在我难受又难过了
Great. Now I'm sick and sad.
玛乔丽开走了我的车把你的车钥匙给我
Marjorie has my car. Give me your keys.
别撞坏我的车
Don't wreck my car.
别把她忘在洗衣店的篮子里
Don't leave her in a basket at the laundromat.
拜托我们不是一笑而过了吗
Oh, come on! Aren't we laughing about that yet?
并没有
We are not.
我们可以一笑而过
We can laugh about it.
好我们看过了你奶奶所有的
Okay, we've been through all your grandma's
抽屉和橱柜
drawers and closets,
所以我们正式无事可做了
so we're officially out of things to do.
顺便说句女人的内♥裤♥不是都长那个样
By the way, women's underpants don't all look like that.
但如果你想知道拓荒时期
But if you're curious about how people dressed
人们的穿着看个够吧
in pioneer days, you're welcome.
该做什么呢
What to do?
看吧这正是我们需要的
See, this is what we needed.
新鲜空气换换风景
A little fresh air, change of scenery.
快看
Ah, look!
我在那家酿酒厂喝醉过
I got hammered at that winery.
还有那家
And that one.
我在那家后面跟一个长靴男吸过可♥卡♥因♥
Ooh, did coke behind that one with a gentleman in long boots.
别一脸不屑地看着我
Don't look at me with that judgy face.
可恶太可爱了
Damn, it's so adorable. Hmm.
我应该花更多时间看克丽丝蒂
I should have spent more time looking at Christy's face
小时候的脸
when she was a baby.
我敢打赌很可爱
I bet it was cute.
有点悲伤了
Ah, gettin' sad.
听听歌♥吧
Let's crank some tunes.
♪跳康茄舞♪
♪ Do the conga ♪
♪你已经情不自禁♪
♪ No, you can't control your body any longer ♪
♪呼啪塔塔哒哒巴布♪
♪ Hoop-ah, ta-ta, ta-ta, da-da, bah-boo ♪
♪巴滴滴滴跳舞吧♪
♪ Bah, dee-dee-dee, do the bomba ♪
该死
Oh! Aw, damn!
你想帮我换轮胎吗
You feel like helping me change a tire?
别假装睡着了
Don't pretend to be asleep.
你在逗我吗
Are you kidding me?
真棒玛乔丽没备胎
Great, Marjorie, no spare tire,
但你有一件应急的圣诞毛衣
but you got an emergency Christmas sweater.
不好
Oh, no.
别啊
No, no.
完蛋了
No, no, no, no, no, no.
索菲亚
Sophia?
看见按钮了吗
See the little button?
开门
Open the door.
你知道开吗
Do you know "Open"?
别笑我
Oh. Don't laugh at me.
我在试图帮你
I'm trying to help you.
不天啊我让另一个婴儿失望了
Oh, no. Oh, my God, I'm failing another baby.
好别慌张
Okay, don't panic.
仔细思考开动大脑
Just think. Just think.
糟糕的主意
Bad idea.
瞧瞧我动手之前就知道这是个糟糕的主意
Look at me know it's a bad idea before I did it.
好
Okay.
别担心
Don't worry.
邦妮阿姨知道怎么破车而入
Aunt Bonnie knows how to break into cars.
别评判我
Stop with the judgy face.
有个更好的办法
Better.
太好了
Yes!
邦妮来了
Here's Bonnie!
等等
Hold on.
老娘太有才了
I... am... amazing!
还被困在后备箱里了
And stuck in a trunk.
♪划啊划啊划着你的小船顺流而下♪
♪ Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream ♪
♪好开心好开心♪
♪ Merrily, merrily, merri... ♪
你怎么做到的
How the hell did you manage this?
你为什么就觉得是我的错
Why do you assume it was my fault?
这是不是比在那等拖车更有趣
Isn't this more fun than waiting back there for a tow truck?
你会喜欢兔八哥的
You are gonna love Bugs Bunny.
我小时候一直看
I used to watch it all the time when I was a kid.
有时候大学磕嗨时也会看...
And sometimes in college when I was hi...
嗨宝贝
hey, baby.
我都不记得他们朝对方脸上开了那么多枪
I don't remember them shooting each other in the face so much.
天啊他刚从地板上捡起了嘴
Oh, my God. He just picked his mouth up off the floor
然后安了回去
and stuck it back on.
我要关掉了
I'm just gonna turn this off.
你太可爱了
You are so sweet.
你的皮肤吹弹可破
And your skin is flawless.
你有特别的护肤流程吗
Do you have a specific routine,
还是只是因为你没在地球上待太久
or is it just not having been on Earth very long?
你说得对淑女从不泄密
You're right. A lady never tells.
我好想要你这样的宝宝
Oh, I want one of you so bad.
女士们
Hey, ladies.
吉尔你没偷孩子吧
Oh, Jill, you didn't steal a baby.
这是玛乔丽的孙女
It's Marjorie's granddaughter,
但我在假装她是我孩子
but I'm kind of pretending like she's mine.