极品老妈

Mom S07E20

Part 1 June 23, 2020, 4:09 p.m.

好还要宣布几件事
Okay, a few more announcements.
我们在戒瘾度假村订了三间房♥
We booked three rooms at the sober retreat,
所以我擅自分好了室友
so I took the liberty of assigning roommates.
邦妮你和克丽丝蒂住
Bonnie, you're with Christy.
塔米和我住
Tammy's with me.
好耶我和吉尔住我们可以聊一整晚
Yay, I'm with Jill! We can gab all night.
而且我带了纸牌
Ooh, and I brought cards.
打牌和聊天
Cards and gabbing!
我想知道有多少人在这种周末
I wonder how many people have relapsed
酒瘾复发了
on one of these weekends.
相信我你会喜欢的
Oh, trust me, you're gonna love it.
在大自然中度过周末专心凝思你的戒瘾之路
A weekend in nature to focus on your sobriety.
这能让人改头换面
It's transformational.
你不用一直向我们推销
You don't have to keep selling us.
我们都在车里速度太快跳不下去
We're all in the car, and it's moving too fast to jump.
你本可以提一句只有女人
You could have mentioned it's all women.
我白染发根了
I did my roots for nothing.
不是白染你也该染了
Not for nothing. You needed it.
你知道我需要什么吗
Ooh! You know what I need?
就是那个
That right there.
奔驰斯宾特豪华厢车
A tricked-out Mercedes Sprinter Van
载重5000磅
with the 5,000-pound payload
后备水冷器
and a water cooler strapped to its back.
那一整句话
The only thing I understood
我只听懂了"奔驰"这个词
in that whole sentence was "Mercedes."
老天我在梦中见过那辆厢车
Ah, Marone, I see that van in my dreams.
我的厢车梦通常与诱拐有关
My van dreams are more abduction-oriented.
我一般都能逃掉但依然令人心慌
I usually get away, but they're still upsetting.
那样的厢车代表了你是个专业的承造商
A van like that says you're a serious contractor.
不知道本周末
Don't suppose there are any
有没有什么"赚快钱"研讨班
"Get your hands on some quick cash" workshops this weekend?
没有那种研讨班一般都在机场办
No, they hold those out near the airport.
至少我是在那里办的
At least I held mine there.
等等如果我要分享房♥间
Wait a minute. If I'm sharing a room,
是不是意味着我也要分享厕所
does that mean I'm sharing a bathroom, too?
我们都要分享同一个那是公用厕所
We're all sharing one. It's a communal bathroom.
极品老妈第七季第二十集
除了我没人去女厕吗
So, nobody else but me needs to use the ladies' room?
我跟你去
I'll go with you.
我的膝盖抵着下巴三个小时了
My knees have been in my chin for three hours.
之后我们会换座位对吧
Oh, we're gonna switch places after this, right?
-当然了 -下次停车时换
- Oh, yeah, sure. - Next time we stop.
对这不公平
Yeah. u202dIt's not fair.
好这是人♥质♥单独相处的宝贵时间
Oh. Okay, this is that precious moment when the hostages are left alone.
计划是什么
What's the plan?
我这辈子就不能有一个周末不和玛乔丽在一起吗
Can I not be with Marjorie for one weekend of my life?
我也想对我妈说同样的话
Ditto my mom.
没关系我也烦你
That's cool. I'm sick of you, too.
我们让温蒂和玛乔丽住一起吧
I say we put Wendy with Marjorie.
-为什么 -她们都不在
- Why? - They're both not here.
-很好我和塔米住 -好
- Great. I'll take Tammy. - Yeah.
所以你和我住邦妮
That leaves you and me, Bonnie,
我知道你没带纸牌
and I know you didn't bring cards.
我连内♥裤♥都差点没带
I barely brought underwear.
我们不是要轮着坐在后面吗
I thought we were taking turns sitting back here.
那是在你决定吃古董热狗之前
Well, that was before you decided to eat what appears to be an antique hot dog.
你只是在嫉妒我
You're just jealous.
你在吃蛋黄酱配加油站香肠亲爱的
You're eating mayonnaise on a gas station wiener, honey.
没人嫉妒你
Nobody's jealous.
塔米你带眼罩了吗
Tammy, did you bring your sleep mask,
防止你惊梦的那个眼罩
you know, for your night terrors?
你不用担心因为你要和温蒂睡
Not your problem, 'cause you're bunking with Wendy now.
-等等什么 -我们对室友搭配
- Wait. What? - We made a couple
做了一点小改动
of small changes to the roommate situation.
什么改动
And what are they?
全变了固定了别管了
They're all different, they're locked. Let it go.
各位他们有山羊你们看到山羊了吗
Guys, they have goats. Did you see the goats?
我去办入住
I'll go check us in.
免费饼干要吗
Ooh, free cookies. Want one?
不谢了公用厕所
Mm. No, thank you. Communal bathroom?
我这周末不会吃喝拉撒了
Nothing's going in or out all weekend.
如果我有那辆厢车我现在就能出去
You know, if I had that van, I could go outside right now
给你造一个私人厕所
and build you your own bathroom.
如果我有足够的首♥付♥款就好了
If only I had enough for a down payment.
哪里能搞到首♥付♥款呢
Where to get a down payment?
温蒂你想再去看山羊吗
Wendy, you want to go see your goats again?
那当然
Hells to the yeah!
你知道那不是真火吧
You know that's not a real fire.
六个人五个小时一辆车
Six people, five hours, one car.
让我任性一下吧
Let me have this.
所以我才单独来的
That's why I came alone.
我是瑞贝卡
Hi. Rebecca.
-我是克丽丝蒂 -第一次来吗
- Christy. - u202dFirst time here?
我其实以为这是真火所以是的
I actually did think this was a real fire, so, yes.
这是我第三年来所以我全摸透了
It's my third year, so, I know all the tricks.
我说我有个室友要来
See, I say I have a roommate coming
结果她不来了所以我能独占一间房♥
who then backs out so I get a room to myself.
机智
Smart.
我的朋友希拉连续三年都摔断了腿
My friend Sheila has broken her leg three years in a row.
说不定明年我妈妈也会摔断腿
Ooh. Maybe next year, my mom can break hers.
你和你妈妈一起来的吗
You're here with your mom?
我来这里是因为我妈妈
Wow. I'm here because of my mom.
我两者皆有
I'm both.
不错
Ooh! Nice!
我们的生活区别太大了
We have lived very different lives.
我想给行李员小费但是
Oh. I'd tip the bellman, but...
显然行李员就是我
apparently, that's me.
好了
Oh, okay.
再见其他人碰过的寝具
Goodbye, bedding that has touched other people.
迎宾篮
Ooh! Welcome basket!
是那东西吗
Is that what that is?
看起来他们做了一半然后放弃了
Looks like they started to make one and just gave up.
水防晒霜
Water, sunscreen,
小泡沫外衣裹着的梨
a pear in a little Styrofoam coat.
等等
Hold on.
一本日记
A journal.
你在和我想同样的事吗
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
我们甩下其他人回家吗
Oh. We ditch the others and go home?
不我在这周末可以开始写书
No, this is the weekend I start writing my book.
我一直在等待完美的环境和纸
I've been waiting for the perfect setting and some paper.
自打我们认识后你不是一直在写那本书吗
Haven't you been starting that book since we met?
这叫作者羞辱
Hey, that's called author-shaming,
不合适
and it's not cool.
我尽量不烦你
I'll try to stay out of your hair,
但我可能会躲在房♥里避开塔米
but I may be holed up here avoiding Tammy.
为什么
Why?
为什么你听到她的话了
Why? You heard her.
厢车首♥付♥款厢车
Van, van, down payment, van.
这太费劲儿了
Well, this is a lot of hard work.
我应该带上管家
I should have packed my housekeeper.
我觉得你对塔米太多疑了
I think you're being a little paranoid about Tammy.
要是那样还好了
If only.
如果有人离我三尺大声说出自己的梦想
When someone shares their dreams loudly three feet away from me,
意味着他们想让我为那个梦想买♥♥单
it means they want me to pay for those dreams.
自从我上五年级开始人们就开始向我借钱了
People have been hitting me up for loans since the fifth grade.
从没有人还过
No one has ever paid me back.
在五年级时我给男生看我的胸罩带
In fifth grade, I was showing boys my bra strap
以换他们的玉米片
in exchange for their Doritos.
但你的故事也很惨
But your story's painful, too.
为什么有这么多农场女助手
What's with all the female ranch hands?
农场助手应该都是男人