极品老妈

Mom S07E07

Part 1 Nov. 18, 2019, 1:35 p.m.

妈
Mom?
亚当
Adam?
太好了
Yes.
我说了我不想去你非要逼我去
I said I didn't want to go, and you made me go.
不
No.
然后你就坐在那闷闷不乐
Then you sat there like a lump.
我终于找到了能当朋友的夫妇
I finally find a couple we can be couple friends with,
而你故意拆散了我们
and you consciously uncoupled us.
那家伙把足球叫"蹴鞠" 他来自密尔沃基
The guy called soccer "Football." He's from Milwaukee.
这不可原谅
There's no excuse for that.
你为什么非要找夫妇朋友
Why are you so hung up on having couple friends?
结婚后就该这么做
It's what you do when you get married.
和其他夫妇培养感情
You cultivate relationships with other couples.
你们一起去看电影见面吃寿司
You go to movies together, you meet for sushi,
住在他们的海滨别♥墅♥里
you stay at their beach house.
他们有海滨别♥墅♥啊
They had a beach house.
真的吗他们有和我年纪相仿的孩子吗
Really? Do they have any kids my age?
无所谓了他做绝了
Don't bother. He killed it.
不是你们年轻人说的那种"绝了"
And not the good kind of "Killed it" Like you young people say.
好吧如果能让你开心
Fine, if it'll make you happy,
我会和你在洋蓟节上认识的嬉皮夫妇
I'll have another brutal dinner with a couple of hipsters
再吃一次可怕的晚餐
you met at the Artichoke Festival.
你在逗我吗当我说应该再约的时候
Are you kidding? 'Cause when I said we should do this again,
他们的声音升了三个八度
their voices jumped three octaves.
"那当然"
"Yeah, absolutely!"
如果你们想快乐聚会
Well, if you're looking for a fun hang,
我可以和你们出去啊
I'll go out with you guys.
那当然
Yeah, absolutely.
极品老妈第七季第七集
我等了这么久才结婚
It's just, I've waited so long to get married,
我想要婚姻全套大礼包
I want the whole married package,
这就包括了夫妇朋友
and that package includes couple friends.
那种一起骑单车去旅行的朋友
You know, the kind you go on bicycle trips with.
亚当坐着轮椅
Adam's in a wheelchair.
-或者一起上红酒品鉴课 -你是个酒瘾者
- Or take wine-tasting classes. - You're an alcoholic.
或帮你在沙漠里埋葬特别负能量的朋友
Or help you bury relentlessly negative friends in the desert.
她在说你我不知道你是否听懂了
She's taking a shot at you. I don't know if you caught it.
好像那些蠢货能埋住我一样
Like those idiots could bury me.
夫妇朋友很棒直到你们的丈夫去滑雪
Well, couple friends are great until two of you stay behind
只剩你俩等在小屋里
in the lodge while your spouses go skiing,
接下来你只知道你的丈夫在问你
and next thing you know, your husband's asking you
玩拼字游戏怎么会擦伤膝盖
how you got rug burns on your knees playing Scrabble.
你刚变得有趣多了
Well, you just got a lot more interesting.
你好
Um, hello?
你好
Hi.
不是你
Not you.
我和安迪怎么样
What about me and Andy?
建议不错仔细说说
Interesting pitch. Bring it home.
我相信我是这个桌子上
Well, I do believe I am the only other one
除你之外唯一有伴侣的人
at this table who's coupled up.
我们中有些人只是比较挑
Some of us are just a little pickier.
也许太挑了
Maybe a little too picky.
最后说一次我不会跟你的那些
For the last time, I'm not gonna date
逛商场的鳏夫朋友约会
any of your widowed mall-walking friends.
西摩是个精力旺盛的72岁老人
Seymour is a very vigorous 72.
那还是太...
That's still way too...
我们回家再说
We'll talk about this at home.
我愿意和逛商场的老人约会
I'll take a mall walker.
只要他不是拄着助步器
As long as he doesn't actually have a walker.
随便啦有助步器也行
Oh, screw it, he can have a walker.
但他必须有头发
But he has to have his hair.
我要头发做什么
Ugh, what do I need hair for?
我也很绝望我刚勾引了我的送水工
I'm desperate, too. I just hit on my Sparkletts guy.
结果不太好现在我没水喝了
It didn't go well. I can't have water now.
你和安迪也许会很有趣
You know, you and Andy could be fun.
我们是这样认为的
We think so.
你没有度假别♥墅♥
I mean, you don't have a vacation home,
但你有个不错的泳池
but you do have a nice pool.
我有度假别♥墅♥
I have a vacation home.
-你有吗 -没有不在圣巴巴拉或任何地方
- You do? - ‭No. Not in Santa Barbara, not anywhere.
-六个人平分吗 -不我只喝了汤
- Split six ways? - ‭Actually, I only had soup.
我喝了两杯冰茶
Oh, I did have two iced teas.
我来打开计算器
I'll get the calculator.
我去女厕了
I'm gonna hit the ladies'.
回来告诉我欠多少钱
Tell me what I owe you when I get back.
我和你一起去你们知道人们怎么说培根三明治的
I'll go with you. You know what they say about BLTs.
上面进下面出
You don't buy 'em, you rent 'em.
所有食物不都这样吗
Wouldn't that be true of all food?
我觉得这种事最好别深究
I find it's best not to press these things.
我其实不想上厕所我只想谈谈
I don't have to go, I just need to talk.
好我一会儿就上完
Oh, okay. I'll just, I'll just be a minute.
不玛乔丽要逼疯我了
No, Marjorie is driving me nuts.
能稍等一下吗
Can this wait a sec?
克丽丝蒂我蹲了七年监狱啥都见过了
Christy, I was in prison seven years. The mystery's gone.
好吧我现在不想上了
Okay, don't have to go anymore.
你看到她如何吝啬地付账了
You see how she's going all Scrooge McDuck with the bill?
她在家里更过分
That's nothing compared to how she is at home.
她小气爱控制
She's cheap, she's controlling.
连猫都在避着她
I mean, even the cats are avoiding her.
我是说真的我和猫交换了会意的眼神
I'm serious. We exchange knowing glances.
你以为和玛乔丽一起住难吗
You think it's hard living with Marjorie?
试着和我妈一起住
Try living with my mother.
她就是我不带男人回家的原因
She is the reason I don't bring guys home.
她是原因之一
Well, she's one of the reasons.
当你不小心
Does Bonnie freak out
丢掉了优♥惠♥券邦妮会发狂吗
when you accidentally throw out the Valpak?
"真该死你丢掉了优♥惠♥券"
"Damn it to hell, you threw out the Valpak!"
玛乔丽最喜欢说这种词了 "优♥惠♥券"
That is such a Marjorie word. "Valpak."
你知道还有哪个词吗
Oh, you know what's another good one?
"垃圾袋"
"Trash bag."
"塔米我在垃圾袋里找到了一张优♥惠♥券"
"Tammy, I found a Valpak in the trash bag."
你真过着那种生活就不好笑了克丽丝蒂
It's not funny when you live with it, Christy.
既然那么糟你何不攒点钱
If it's so bad, why don't you save up some money
租个自己的公♥寓♥呢
and get your own place?
我已经攒够了
I have enough money now.
我杂工做得风生水起
I'm crushing it with the handyman stuff.
威廉姆斯-索诺玛公♥司♥让我接下来三周
Williams-Sonoma has me fixing stuff there
去那里修东西
for the next three weeks.
你知道他们在用西葫芦做意面吗
Did you know that they make pasta with zucchini?
新闻快报依然是蔬菜
News flash: still vegetables.
你有足够的钱自己住离开烦人的老女人吗
You have money to live alone without an annoying older woman?
那是我的梦想
That's my dream.
你们每人欠16块擦屁♥股♥ 拉裤链走人
You each owe 16 bucks, so wipe it, zip it, wrap it up.
搬出去
Move out.
搬吧为我搬
Do it, do it for me.
不是吧这是烤架兼木柴熏炉吗
Get out. It's a grill and a stick-burning smoker?
老兄这东西连蛋糕都能烤
Buddy, you can make a cake with this thing.
不会有臭味吗
Won't it stink?
会有但反正是烧烤时烤的
Yeah. But you made it in a barbecue.
看看这个你能分隔区域
And check this out. You can isolate zones.
我用小火慢烤梅花肉
I'm going slow and low on the pork butt
大火速烤羊排
while I sear with high heat on the lamb chops.
看到这个了吗这是我的元神
See this? It's my mind.
知道为什么在这里吗因为我被惊得元神出窍了
Know why it's over here? 'Cause it's blown.
-敬肉 -肉
- To meat. ‭- Meat.
看看他们这就像最棒的玩伴聚会
Look at 'em. It's like the best playdate ever.
我觉得我都叫不走我老公了
I don't think I'm gonna get mine to leave.
相比安迪的警♥察♥朋友你们真是神清气爽
You guys are such a nice break from Andy's cop friends.
"别担心我裤子里真是枪"
I mean, how many times can a girl laugh
这种玩笑一个女孩听了能笑多少次啊
when a guy says "Don't worry, it is a gun in my pocket."
我敢打赌至少有一个人口袋里不是枪