极品老妈

Mom S07E12

Part 1 Feb. 23, 2020, 9:06 a.m.

哪个疯子买♥♥蔬菜时没买♥♥农场酱
What maniac brought vegetables without ranch?
我可不想尝原味芹菜
I don't want to know what celery actually tastes like.
是我我发誓
It was me. I swear,
我一个月没吃过绿菜了
I hadn't eaten something green in a month.
自从我和安迪约会后
Ever since I started dating Andy,
我只吃肉肉肉和香蕉布丁
all I eat is meat, meat, meat and banana pudding.
但你的男人为你做饭这是我的梦想
But your man cooks for you. That's my dream.
我的梦想还有一辆皮卡
That and a pickup truck with a tailgate
后挡板能变梯子
that turns into a ladder.
确实挺好但他带来了
It is nice, but he brought over
很多食谱调料和酱
a ton of cookbooks and rubs and sauces.
他让我的厨房♥...有了厨房♥的样子
He's got my kitchen looking like a... kitchen.
你是个手艺人
Hey, you're a builder person.
你能给我做个架子藏起来那些东西吗
Can you build me a shelf to make that stuff go away?
-闭着眼都能做 -要多少钱
- In my sleep. - Well, how much do you charge?
得了我免费给你做
Stop. I'll do it for free.
不不你必须知道自己的价值
No, no. You got to know your value.
免费打工怎能赚到那辆皮卡呢
How else are you gonna get that pickup if you work for free?
我的确想要那辆卡车
Well, I do want that truck.
一个架子 42000美元
Let's see, one shelf: $42,000.
好吧 75美元
Fine. 75 bucks.
成交
Deal.
大家好
Hello, everyone.
有什么新鲜事
What's new?
你们去找了我的胸罩女
You went to my bra lady.
她可不是胸罩女她是胸部塑形大♥师♥
Oh, she is not a bra lady, she's a boob architect.
我被举拨揉捏了一番但都是好事
I mean, I got lifted, separated and groped, but in a good way.
我一直不知道我戴错了尺码
I had no idea I was wearing the wrong size this whole time.
我知道圣诞快乐
Oh, I did. Merry Christmas.
我的余光总能看到它们
I keep catching them in my peripheral vision.
我坐在那里突然之间 "你们好女士们"
I'm just sitting there and it's like "Ooh! Hello, ladies."
天啊
Oh, my God.
怎么了
What?
我刚收到了儿子的短♥信♥
I just got a text from my son.
你是认真的吗
Are you serious?
他多年没和我说过话了
He hasn't spoken to me in years.
短♥信♥里说什么
Well, what'd it say?
让我有空给他打电♥话♥
Just to call him when I get a chance.
你现在就有空打吧
Well, you got a chance. Do it.
不不我没准备好
No. No, I'm not ready.
我需要先开个会温蒂开始吧
I need a meeting first. Wendy, let's get started.
欢迎来到周四女性互助会
Welcome to the Thursday women's meeting.
我叫温蒂我是个酒瘾者
My name is Wendy and I'm an alcoholic.
不管了我等不及了
Eh, screw it, I can't wait.
你好温蒂
Hi, Wendy.
极品老妈第七季第十二集
-玛乔丽还在讲电♥话♥吗 -我看不太清
- Marjorie's still on the phone? - I can barely see.
这玻璃似乎被人用火腿擦过
Looks like somebody cleaned this window with ham.
我觉得她的嘴唇在动
I think her lips are moving.
那说明不了任何事
Oh, that doesn't mean anything.
她经常在家自言自语
She talks to herself all the time at home.
你们在看什么
What are you guys looking at?
我不知道
Oh. I don't know.
那我们一直在看的是谁
So who have we been spying on?
天啊是管♥理♥员♥德韦恩
Oh, my God, it's Dwayne the custodian.
都怪他
Well, that's on him.
他不该留一样的发型
He shouldn't wear his hair like that.
怎么样了
So, what happened?
叫我奶奶
Call me Grandma.
恭喜
Congratulations.
太棒了
That's great.
听到他的声音太棒了
It was so wonderful to hear his voice.
他告诉我我有了个叫索菲亚的孙女
He told me I have a granddaughter named Sophia
他想让我见她
and he wants me to meet her.
太棒了玛乔丽我真为你开心...
That's great, Marjorie. I am so happy-- Whoa!
抱歉我的胸部又吓到我了
Oh. Sorry, my boobs scared me again.
还有多远
How much further?
1.7英里
1.7 miles.
现在是1.6英里
Uh, make that 1.6 miles.
左边有折扣店
Ooh, T.J. Maxx coming up on the left.
1.5英里
1.5.
好了 Siri 闭嘴
Okay, Siri, settle down.
再次感谢你们开车
Thanks again for driving.
我今早本来感觉还好但之后我给猫喂了麦片
I felt fine this morning, but then I fed the cats granola
给自己倒了一碗猫粮
and poured myself a bowl of Meow Mix
然后我想还是别开车了
and I thought, "Maybe don't drive."
你会没事的
You'll be great.
1.2英里
1.2.
我不敢相信这要发生了
I can't believe this is happening.
1.1英里
1.1.
你知道最棒的部分是什么吗
You know the best part?
杰瑞想和你切断关系
Jerry wanted nothing to do with you,
但你每年都寄生日卡
but you sent birthday cards every year.
没任何回音但你没放弃
You didn't get anything back, but you didn't give up.
现在看看
And now look.
我曾以为你疯了
I thought you were crazy.
我也许在你不在时这样说过
I might have said so when you weren't around.
你当我面都说过
You said it to my face.
是吗
Did I?
我就喜欢自己这点
That's what I like about me.
其他人都希望你改改
And what the rest of us hope you work on.
过了这么多年我该对他说什么
What am I supposed to say to him after all this time?
在他小时候
When he was little,
我的目标只是在他上校车之前别喝醉
my goal was just to stay sober until he got on the school bus,
大部分时候我都做不到
and most days, I couldn't make it.
我怪伏特加配橙汁
Well, I blame vodka for being so damn delicious
实在太好喝了
with orange juice.
配任何果汁都好喝
Or with any juice.
不配都好喝
Or with nothing.
0.3英里
0.3.
最终我丈夫告诉我
Finally, my husband told me
要么戒酒要么搬出去
I had to stop drinking or move out.
所以
So...
你搬出去了
You moved out.
就在那天
That day.
在酒和我亲儿子之间我选了酒
I chose booze over my own son.
但你现在是个了不起的女人他会看出来的
But you're an incredible woman now and he's gonna see it.
您已抵达目的地
You have arrived at your destination.
对我说了那么多功劳被你抢了
Oh, sure, I do all the work and you bring us home.
需要我们帮忙的话发短♥信♥
Text us if you need us.
我们去做指甲
We're gonna go get our nails done.
或者去那家折扣店
And maybe hit that T.J. Maxx.
我真紧张
I am so nervous.
放松那里有个婴儿
Relax. There's a baby there.
婴儿最能打破尴尬了
They're great icebreakers.
对在你无话可说时
Yeah. Any time you're at a loss for words,
只用说"看那婴儿"
you just say, "Look at the baby."
别模仿那种
Maybe don't do a voice
你好像要吃了婴儿的声音
that sounds like you're gonna eat the baby.
你看看这些愚蠢的食谱
Would you look at all these stupid cookbooks?
《烧烤大♥师♥》《烧烤怪兽》《全是烧烤》
Grill Master, Grill Monster, All Up in My Grill.
我猜我至少应该高兴他在看书
I guess I should be happy he's reading.
不过这本书里基本都是图
Although this one's mostly pictures.
你想放多高
How high do you want this?
放一个我看不到安迪能看到的高度
Where I can't see it and Andy can.
他有多高
Well, how tall is he?
比你高一点
Little bit taller than you.
贝琳达你今天用吸尘器
Oh, Belinda, did you vacuum the carpet
打扫过主卧地毯吗
in the master bedroom today?
我一早就打扫了
I did it first thing.
你有吗