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Modern Family S01E24

Part 3 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:40 p.m.

Sometimes it's a bad thing,
比如大家都觉得某样东西很不错
like when everyone else sees something beautiful...
而她的眼里就只有那些丁点大的瑕疵
and all she sees is the teeny-tiny flaw.
不行坚决不行
No. No.
不行
No.
喂我的房♥子遭殃了
Hi. My house is a disaster.
能在你那里拍照吗
Can we do this picture at your place?
这个怕是不太可能了
Yeah, that's- that's not gonna work.
所以
So-
再缠一圈吧粘紧点用点力
Maybe one more layer. And tight, really tight.
-爸能再催催他们吗 -刚打过了
- Dad, can you call them again? - I just did.
他们在路上了比赛打进加时赛了
They're on their way. Game went into overtime.
我知道但是太阳都快落山了
I know, but we're losing the light,
而且摄影师
and the photographer's
10分钟后还要去个犹太男孩成人仪式
gotta get to a bar mitzvah in 10 minutes.
红酒现在你不是吧
Oh, red wine. Really? Now?
亲爱的
You know, honey,
我觉得你有点太神经质了
I think you're getting a little too uptight about this.
-我呼吸困难了 -你没事的
- It's hard to breathe. - Oh, you're fine.
你把他怎么了他脸都绿了
What'd you do to him? He's turning blue.
只要他的衣服是白色的就行
But his clothes will stay white.
-我们回来咯 -谢天谢地
- We're home! - Oh, thank God.
曼尼我们换衣服去
Manny, let's go change.
嘿又看见我美丽的贤妻了
Hey, there's my beautiful wife.
我知道你生我的气
I know you're mad at me,
我也知道这泡沫手指无法弥补我的过错
and I know this foam finger can't make up for everything.
亲爱的你赶紧换衣服
Honey, you just go change,
那事儿我们回头再说
and we'll talk about what you did later.
嘿谢谢你买♥♥票给我们
Hey, thank you so much for those tickets.
歌♥洛莉亚说你们玩得很开心
Gloria tells me you had a real good time.
没没我可没有
Not really. No, I didn't.
上苍作证我爱你女儿
God, I love your daughter.
我到时候再回来
I should- I should come by
亲下这台阶修好这台阶
and kiss that step- fix that step.
你说的好像我是故意把家里弄得一团糟一样
Oh, you're acting like I wanted to destroy the house.
不我只是觉得奇怪
No. I just think it's odd
你毁掉的大部分东西
that the majority of things you destroyed...
都是我妈送给我们的
were sent to us by my mom.
好吧好吧
Okay, okay, okay.
也就是说我和那臭脏鸟周♥旋♥的时候
So while I'm fighting off that filthy creature,
还会有时间停下来想哎呀真好
I actually stop and say, "Oh, you know what,
总算可以借机毁掉那些
here's the opportunity I've always been looking for
庸俗不堪的东西了
to destroy our kitschiest objects."
庸俗不堪她听到一定会很"开心"的
Kitschiest? Oh, she's gonna love that.
其实如果你跟着我去婚礼
If you would've come with me to the wedding,
这一切都不会发生了
none of this would have happened.
你是真生气了啊
Okay. So you are angry.
米奇尔我懂的
Mitchell, I get it.
你讨厌扯家常还不喜欢鸟
You're terrified of small talk and birds.
你一定很庆幸那小鸽子
You're just lucky that pigeon
没缠着你聊天气状况吧
didn't want to chat you up about the weather.
-你好杰 -你们也好
- Hello, Jay. - Hello, guys.
老天你怎么穿得跟"舞迷"节目的选手似的
Oh, God. Oh, you look like the guy from Dance Fever.
多谢夸奖
Thank you.
丹尼·特里奥俄亥俄州克里夫兰市
Deney Terrio. Cleveland, Ohio.
["舞迷"节目的主持人]
老爸非要这样吗我不是在夸你
Dad, really? That is not a compliment.
所以之前我才让你先穿上试试转过去
That's why I wanted you to try those on earlier. Turn around.
今天不能拍照我的痘痘越发明显了
The picture can't happen today. My pimple's getting worse.
我可怜的小宝贝你还能站着吗
Oh, honey, I am so sorry. Can you stand?
-能 -那就得拍
- Yeah. - Well, then the picture's happening.
大家一定会紧盯着我不放的
It's all anybody's gonna see.
我看可不一定
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
你看见她穿的裙子了吗
Did you get a look at her dress?
什么我看她裙子干嘛我爱的是你
What? Why would I look at her dress? I love you.
邓菲太太太阳就快下山了
Uh, Mrs. Dunphy, the sun is setting.
好的这就拍
Okay. Yeah, this is happening.
大家快来我们出去了
Everybody, come on. Let's go.
小心点我下午才给家具刷了漆摆外边呢
Be careful. I stained some furniture out there this afternoon.
可不是嘛老爸
Of course you did, Dad.
还有什么需要注意的吗
Anything else I need to know about?
没准旁边邻居正忙着打彩弹呢
Maybe the neighbors on either side are having a paintball fight.
都看好了我那睿智无比的老爹
Now watch this. Dad, in his infinite wisdom,
今天给家具刷了漆
stained furniture today.
千万别碰着了还没干呢
Don't touch it. It's wet.
-快点快点 -别照了亲爱的
- Hurry, hurry. - Put that down, sweetheart.
很好很好大家都过来了现在站这边
Okay. Okay, we got it. Now we're gonna go out here.
老天啊你在耍我吗
Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?
那洒水器怎么关
How do- How do you turn the sprinklers off?
又问我当然了就因为我是拉丁人
Ay! Of course! Because I'm Latina,
我就该对花♥园♥ 洒水器什么的了如指掌
I'm supposed to know everything about gardening and sprinklers!
他们装这东西的时候就你在
You were here when they installed it.
是诶控制器在草坪那边
Ay, yeah. The box is across the yard.
你是说要跨过这片黄浦江吗
You mean your now-soaking-wet yard?
真好彻底歇菜了
That's great. We are screwed.
不还没
No, we're not.
我们还没出秘密武器呢
We haven't unwrapped our secret weapon yet.
拆弹特工--卢克小神童过去
Luke walks over there, Hurt Locker style...
关掉开关
flips the switch,
嘭或者不嘭水就关了
and boom- or not boom- water off.
好男儿志当英雄儿子
Put the "he" in "hero," son.
拆弹专家洒水器终结者还差不多
Hurt Locker? It's more like Squirt Locker.
不是吧不搞笑吗
Really? That wasn't funny?
我真同情你们这群没幽默感的
I actually pity you guys.
没空庆祝了都给我停
No time to celebrate! Stop it!
-我们时间不多了 -好的大家
- We don't have a lot of time. - All right, everybody.
-请小个子的站前面 -先生
- If I can have the little ones down front- - You know what, sir?
不介意的话我来吧
If you don't mind, I've got this.
大伙都过来吧
Come on, people, let's get out here.
海莉艾丽克斯你们给弟弟拆胶带
Haley, Alex, I need you to unwrap your brother.
邓菲一家站这边
All right, I need the Dunphys over on this side.
爸爸你站中间
Dad, you're in the middle.
米奇尔小卡莉莉站那边
Mitchell, Cam, Lily on this end. Okay.
-听我说 -怎么
- Listen. - Uh-huh?
亲爱的我错了如果你再次投入我怀抱
Honey, I screwed up, but if ever you're in my arms again-
-菲尔现在不说这些 -就得现在说
- Phil, not now. - Yes, now.
我不想日后看到这张照片时
I don't want to look at this picture...
比如我80岁而你早已与世长辞的时候
when I'm 80 years old and you're long dead...
还想到你拍照时心里深藏的怒气
and know that you were angry at me when we took it.
菲尔回头再说行吗
Phil, we'll talk about what you did later.
好了大家请看这里
Okay, everybody. Eyes over here.
不关我的事是她亲的我
I didn't do anything. She kissed me.
什么
What?
-谁亲了你 -歌♥洛莉亚
- Who kissed you? - Gloria.
-什么 -是接吻镜头[同音:亲了小卡]
- What? - It was the kiss cam.
你亲小卡做什么
Why did you kiss Cam?
不是我亲了菲尔他说必须那样
No, I kissed Phil. He told me I had to.
-不是这样的 -等一下
- No, no. - Okay, hang on a second.
这是在你无视
Was this before or after
老婆电♥话♥之前还是之后
you ignored the phone call from your wife?
那个你也看见了
You saw that too?
我们就不能先把相照了吗
Could we please just take the damn picture?
好了大伙再来一次
Okay. Everybody, one more time.
-你知道吗我很生你的气 -我就知道
- Just so you know, I am angry with you. - I knew it!
-我靠 -今天对我来说很重要
- Oh, damn it! - It was a big day for me,
而他不参加的原因是他不喜欢扯家常
and he didn't want to go because he doesn't like small talk.
把你们这些小吵小闹
Would it be terribly inconvenient...
推迟那么几分钟就有那么难吗
to just postpone this hissy fit for a few minutes?
你知道吗或许我们根本就
Ok, you know what? Maybe some of us don't
-不想今天拍照 -多谢
- want to take a picture today. - Thank you.
拜托了克莱尔
And please, Claire,