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Modern Family S01E19

Part 4 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:39 p.m.

那我别无选择
Then you leave me no choice.
上帝啊
Oh, my God.
晕吧你
Go to sleep.
快点快晕过去
Go to sleep. Go to sleep.
没晕啊
No.
-米奇尔你干什么放开他 -闭嘴
- Mitchell, what are you doing? Get off of him. - Shut up.
-他就要晕了 -才没有呢
- He's about to go to sleep. - No, I'm not.
请不要打架三位请出列
Okay, folks. Break this up. You three- out of line.
抱歉先生我和他们无关
Oh, no. I'm sorry, sir. I didn't have anything to do with this.
我只是排队买♥♥iPad而已
I'm just waiting in line to get an iPad.
我都不认识他
I don't even know this guy.
老天我得用你的信♥用♥卡♥
Oh, my God. I need your credit card.
-是他挑事 -闭嘴你怎么还不晕
- He's the problem. - Shut up! You're supposed to be asleep.
-没事我拿到了 -放开我
- It's okay. I have it. - Get off!
-我拿到了 -什么
- I've got it. - What?
你的卡我没犯事没犯事
I've got your card. I'm good. No, I'm good.
我排在这呢这儿
I'm good. I'm here. I'm here!
我要给我老公买♥♥iPad啊
I've gotta get my husband an iPad!
生日快乐的秘诀就是别期待太多
Key to a good birthday? Low expectations.
我以为能有iPad 期待错了
Thought I was getting an iPad. I was wrong about that.
以为球场有惊喜派对
Thought I was getting a surprise party at the batting cages.
不好意思大菲尔
Sorry, Big Phil.
我觉得说到底
Guess when it comes right down to it,
我就跟被踢中蛋蛋的杰夫·斯威尼一样
we're all just Jeff Sweeney taking a fastball to the plums.
老爸蛋糕掉地下了
Hey, um, Dad, your cake fell off the counter,
但小卡舅夫正补救呢
but Uncle Cam's trying to fix it.
他只会偷吃掉
He won't.
披萨一直都没送来
And the pizzas never showed up.
没来就没来呗
And they won't!
基情小气球啊
Hey, balloons.
得反正没法知道了
Fine. I guess we'll never know.
要么现在见分晓
Or we can find out right now.
曼尼棋盘给我
Yeah, Manny, give me the chess set.
-送我棋盘啊 -待会再给你
- Oh, it's a chess set. - Yeah. You'll get it later.
我们得决一死战
We got something to settle now.
-往里走 - 生日快乐菲尔
- Go in there. - Happy birthday, Phil.
一定快乐哟
Happy happy.
好香克莱尔烤了干酪吗
Is that Claire's baked brie I smell?
没
No.
小卡小卡你不会相信的
Oh, Cam, Cam, you'll never believe what happened.
-生日快乐菲尔 -当然啦
- Happy birthday, Phil! - Sure!
你绝不会相信的
You'll never believe what happened.
我和人打架了
I got in trouble for fighting.
我们还挽救了一段婚姻
And we saved a marriage.
-今天真是史上最棒 -没错
- Well, this is the best day ever. - It really is.
可不是嘛
Ain't it though?
宝贝看我这招
Look at this, papi, huh?
淡定
Easy.
别唱《冠军之歌♥》[皇后乐队名曲]
You can't sing "We Are the Champions"...
你的皇后都没了
without your queen.
该死要是我输了我就烧掉这房♥子
Damn it! Listen, I lose and I burn this house down!
-看这儿 -亲爱的亲爱的
- Ah, but look at this... - Honey, honey.
我们闹什么呢太滑稽了
What are we doing? This is ridiculous.
我们总有个要赢
One of us is gonna win the game,
另一个就不爽只会两败俱伤
the other's gonna feel lousy, and we both lose.
成啊把我的礼物扔地上吧
Yeah, just leave my birthday present on the floor.
好老婆她已经赢定了
That's my girl. She had me.
我没戏了我知道的
There was no way I could win. I knew it.
幸好她不知道
I'm just glad she didn't know it yet.
只需两步就能杀他个...
Two moves, and then-
我可是个下棋高手
I'm a very good chess player.
但我更是个好老婆
But I'm a better wife.
-买♥♥到了吗 -没有
- Hey, did you get it? - No.
-爸爸怎么样 -古怪更古怪了
- How's your dad? - Acting weird... er.
-老婆 -亲爱的
- Hey, wife. - Honey, hi.
-是这样 -妈妈
- Um, listen... - Mom.
卢克等会再说
Yeah, Luke, hang on one second.
老婆没关系啦我已经没感觉了
Honey, it's okay. I don't feel things anymore.
-可我想让你... -妈妈
- But, sweetie, I want you to feel... - Mom!
卢克我一会就来你上哪去
Luke, I'll be with you in just a second. Where are you going?
去院子里拿铲子清理我的蛋糕
Just heading out to the yard to get a shovel for my cake.
-老妈 -卢克你要干嘛
- Mom. - Luke, what do you want?
我上了老爸的电脑
I went on Dad's computer,
联♥系♥了他的宅男网友们
contacted some of his geek friends,
说老爸快死了
told them that he was dying
有个iPad才能瞑目
and his last wish was an iPad.
卢克我怎么教你的
Luke, what have I told you about-
有个人很同情就送来台多余的
One of them felt so bad, they brought over an extra.
上帝啊你拿到了你这个乖仔撒谎精
Oh, my God. You got it. You beautiful little liar!
老爸回来了
Here comes Dad.
谁想吃蛋糕呀
Who wants some cake?
我之前想可我不想吃...
I used to, but I don't desire food any-
老天你买♥♥到了
Oh, my God. You got it!
我说了半天不在乎
All this time I said I didn't care,
可我真想要超想要的
but I do care. I care so much!
-想吹蜡烛吗 -好
- Do you want to blow out the candles? - Yes.
吹吧使劲
Go on. Go.
居然真能吹灭
It did not just do that!
-是真的 -老婆我爱你
- Yes, it did! - Honey!
瞧这刚出炉热乎乎的iPad啊
Oh, who's ready for the first day of the rest of their lives?
-菲尔生日快乐 -看啊
- Phil, happy birthday! - Look at this!
-我能摸摸吗 -摸别掐摸摸
- Can I touch it? - Yeah, not so hard, but touch it.
摸它别摸摸别摸
Touch it, but don't touch it. Touch it, but don't touch it.
对不起我不该怀疑你
I'm so sorry I ever doubted you.
我爱你
I love you.
感谢上帝送来了那个人
Thank God that guy came over.
他叫什么来着
What did he say his name was?
他没说肯定是位天使
He didn't. Must be an angel.
听到了吗说我是天使呢
Did you hear that? I'm an angel.
-或者是个变♥态♥ -对啊
- Or some creepy perv. - Yeah.
他怎么知道的恶心
How did he know? Eww.
-我该报♥警♥吗 -没错报♥警♥吧
- Maybe I should call the police. - You should call the police.
-这就报 -他们从此幸福地生活在一起
- I'm gonna call the police. - And they lived happily ever after.
别啊小卡你上哪去才刚开始精彩
No, Cam. Where are you going? It was just getting good.
我想听多好的节目
I want- That's my program.
我爱你
I love you.
-我也爱你亲爱的 -好吧
- I love you too, honey. - Oh. Okay.