摩登家庭
Modern Family S01E09
Part 2
Dec. 3, 2019, 1:39 p.m.
-因为他要来参加派对 -有那个必要吗
- 'Cause he's coming to the party. - Is that absolutely necessary?
当然 因为她忍♥受不了10分钟
Yes, because she can't go 10
没有她男友的舌头在她嘴里搅
minutes without her boyfriend's tongue in her mouth.
就像他在喂幼鸟一样
It's like he's feeding a baby bird.
别羡慕嫉妒恨了
Don't be so jealous.
我确定你在计算机夏令营会遇到超级大帅哥的
I'm sure you'll meet someone super hot at computer camp.
-姑娘们 -嘿 别闹了
- Girls. - Hey. Hey.
你手上拿的什么
So, what you got there?
是手工艺品桌需要的一些原材料
These are supplies for the crafts table.
我终于想到我们要做什么了
I finally figured out what we're gonna be making.
-让孩子们无聊吗 -我开玩笑的 玩笑
- Kids bored? - I'm teasing. I'm teasing.
看上去挺不错 是什么
It looks good. What is it?
梳套
Comb sheaths.
我知道 我知道的
I know. I know.
但我是11岁的时候做的这个
But we made them when I was 11 years old
在唐娜·瑞格比的生日派对上
at Donna Rigby's birthday party.
一开始我们也觉得那很傻帽
At first we thought it was really stupid,
然后我们觉得那是很愉快的经历
and then we had a blast, so-
怎么可能不愉快呢
How could you not?
你把孩子们最爱的两样东西结合到了一起
You combined the two things that kids love the most-
梳子和套子
combs and sheaths.
我开玩笑的
I'm kidding!
我的梳子哪儿去了 噢
Where's my comb? Oh!
原来在我超级方便的绣珠梳套里
Here it is in my incredibly convenient beaded comb sheath...
那可是我在卢克超棒的生日派对上做的哟
that I made at Luke's awesome birthday party.
一举夺魁 邓菲太太
Hole in one, Mrs. Dunphy.
一举夺魁
Hole in one.
我回家了
I'm home.
我给卢克买♥♥了一套游戏盘 但是关于数学的
I got Luke a video game, but it's about math.
所以 我们估计是那种督促人学习的讨厌舅舅
So I guess we're those kind of uncles.
小卡
Cam.
别生气
Don't be mad.
噢 小卡
Oh. Cam. Uh-
我立志想当小丑是从
I've known I wanted to be a clown...
我发现小丑不过是人化妆扮成的开始的
since I found out clowns were just people with makeup.
实际上 当我成长为小少年的时候
Um, as a matter of fact, by the time I was a teenager,
只要我不是在上学或钓鱼 就是在扮小丑
if I wasn't in school or fishin', I was clownin'.
总共有4种类型的小丑
There are four types of clowns
乞丐小丑 彩面小丑
a tramp, an Auguste,
白脸小丑 和角色小丑
a whiteface and a character.
我是个接受过传统训练的彩面小丑
I am a classically trained Auguste clown
名叫菲茨宝
named Fizbo.
-怎么了 -没什么
- What? N-Nothing.
你又要扮小丑又要钓鱼
Between the clownin' and the fishin',
我真奇怪你竟然还有时间上学
I'm surprised you had time for the schoolin'.
还有第5种类型的 悲伤小丑
Aw, and there's the fifth type- the sad clown.
悲伤小丑也属于乞丐小丑 所以仍然只有4种
Sad clown is a tramp. So there's still only four types.
小卡 我觉得我们已经说过这事儿了
Cam, I thought we discussed this.
是的 但我后来一想
We did. But I- I started thinking.
这事的重点不在你我
And this isn't about you or me.
而是一个小男孩 该享受快乐一刻
This is about a little boy who deserves some happiness.
他能从他古怪的同性恋舅夫那儿得到快乐吗
And he's gonna get that from his weird gay clown uncle?
菲茨宝才不是同性恋 他是无性的
Fizbo is not gay. He's asexual.
他是个纯情大男孩 唯一的目标
He's an innocent whose only drive...
就是给人们带去喜庆 欢笑
is to bring people joy and laughter
和气球扎成的动物
and balloon animals.
他 他是地球上最与性无关的东西
He's- He's the least sexual being on earth.
好吧 至少我们都认为你这装扮让人性趣全无
Oh, okay. Well, at least we agree on something.
如果未来有人发现这盘带子
If this tape is found in the future,
-这就是我们人类庆祝生日的方式 -老爸
- this is how we humans celebrated birthdays. - Hey, Dad!
瞧 那是我的乖儿子 高空滑索
Yeah, there's my boy. Zip-line extreme-
我没事 我没事 我很好
I'm okay. I'm good. I'm good.
吃一撞长一智 千万别站在这儿
Lesson learned. Don't stand- Don't stand there.
把这一块儿用绳子圈起来禁止入内
Let's go ahead and rope this area off.
很好 谢谢你们
Excellent. Thank you.
嘿 小老弟 玩得开心吗
Hey, buddy, you having fun?
是啊 而且我爱我的新皮带
Yeah. And I love my new belt.
嘿 卢克 瞧啊
Hey, Luke. Look.
你想做个梳套吗
Do you wanna make a comb sheath?
什么
A what?
就是一个皮质小套 可以放梳子进去
It's a cool leather holder for your comb.
你也可以装饰一下它
And you can decorate it.
我这边有小珠子 小亮片等各种东西
I've got beads and glitter and all kinds of stuff.
-你想试试吗 -不 我去玩攀岩墙了
- Do you want to? - Nah. I'm gonna do the rock wall.
好吧宝贝 你的生日你做主
Okay, honey. It's your day.
亲爱的 如果你材料不够了 记得通知我
Honey, let me know if you get low on supplies.
我会迅速穿越到1950年代帮你买♥♥回来
I'll make a quick run back to the 1950s for you.
噢 又撞我
Oh! Again?
说真的 负责滑索的人 用绳子圈一下
Seriously, zip-line guys, use some ropes.
你记得把白色衣服放进烘干机了吗
Did you remember to switch the whites to the dryer?
-没有 我忘了 -到时肯定一股霉味
- Oh, no. I forgot. - They're gonna smell musty.
-我知道 我很抱歉 -我来加油吧
- I know. I'm sorry. - I'll pump.
不不不 我来吧 你坐在车里
No, no, no. I'll do it. You stay right here.
-放轻松 -哦 我懂了
- Relax. - Oh. I get it.
-你担心别人看见我 -毫无疑问
- You're worried about people seeing me. - Without question.
人们会盯着我们看的
You know, people are gonna stare.
他们很少见一个小丑在车里的情况
They're not used to seeing one clown in a car.
那就是她 比安卡·道格拉斯
That's her- Bianca Douglas.
她好可爱哦
She's so cute.
她写得一手好字
She has good handwriting.
她是个完美女神 祝我好运吧
She's a complete package. Wish me luck.
你不需要运气
You don't need luck.
你只要记住我传授给你的那些笑话就行了
You just remember those jokes I told you, hmm?
我们不能再这么见面了
We have to stop meeting like this.
-什么 -我们是同学啊
- What? - We go to school together.
-噢是哦 -你喜欢笑话吗
- Oh, yeah. - Do you like jokes?
-当然 -很好 听着
- Sure. - Great. Ok.
一只叫加里的蚂蚱进了一家酒吧
So a grasshopper named Gary walks into a bar.
噢糟糕
Aw. No.
我不该一开始就把名字说出来的
You're not supposed to know his name.
我换一个讲吧 可以吗
Let me try another one, okay?
-敲敲门 -你是谁
- Knock, knock. - Who's there?
[曼尼本该在女孩说Who前先说Moo
笑点是Who和Moo的英文发音相似]
-捣蛋牛 -捣蛋牛谁
- Interrupting cow. - Interrupting cow who?
哞 糟糕说晚了
Moo. Oh, crap.
-搞什么 -搞你个大头鬼
- Um, hey. - Hey yourself.
-让开 -你刚开车碰到我了
- Move. - You kind of just bumped me with your car.
我可不觉得
I don't think so.
不 你确实碰到了 因为
No. No, you did, because, um-
瞧 我的裤子上沾了油迹
See, yeah, I got grease on my pants
-而且我明显感觉被碰到 -叫救护车吧
- and then also I felt it. - Call an ambulance.
好吧 我只是觉得你可能有心知道
Okay. I just thought you might wanna know...
或许你还想当个懂礼貌的人 道个歉
in case you wanted to be a decent human being and apologize, but-
不想吗 好吧
No? Okay.
混♥蛋♥
Ass.
你刚说什么
What did you say?
算了 行吗
Just forget about it, all right?
-听着 红毛鬼 我没碰到你 -我
- Listen, carrottop. I didn't touch you. - Um, I-
所以你给我放聪明点 闭上你的臭嘴
So do the smart thing. Shut your hole,
滚上车 开远点
get in your car and drive away.
有什么问题吗
Is there a problem here?
你是什么鬼东西
What the hell are you?
我是个惩恶扬善的小丑
I'm the ass-kicking clown...
能把你拧成像气球动物那样的
that'll twist you like a balloon animal.
我可以拿你的脑袋猛撞保险杠
I will beat your head against this bumper
直到气囊弹开
until the air bags deploy.
立刻 向我男友 道歉
So apologize to my boyfriend right now!
-道歉 男友 -道歉
- Apologize? Boyfriend? - Apologize!
好吧 对不起
Okay. I'm sorry.
对不起
I'm sorry.
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